Stand by Me
by loststolenandfound
Summary: McFly: Harry centric but the other boys are in it all the time. Something happens to Harry and he will need those around him if he's ever to overcome the trauma. Dark themes of rape and violence. Language:Swearing.
1. Chapter 1 Harry

Harry sat, relishing the quiet; he'd just arrived home hours earlier than he had expected to. His girlfriend Ellie had gone out with everyone else. Everyone else being Dougie, Hannah, Danny, Emma, Tom and Jenny. He'd been at his parents for the week with his 2 brothers and 2 sisters because his mum was progressively losing her battle with cancer. His parents understood that his position in the band was demanding and that he could only take a certain amount of time off work. Partly Harry was glad he couldn't take off too much time because as much as he wanted to be there for her at the same time he didn't. It was selfish of him but he liked to think that his brothers and sisters had it sorted. They had all moved back home to his parents huge house a few months back when she first got diagnosed.

Harry went to the fridge and helped himself to a handful of beers, he lived with the rest of McFly and beers were one thing that they would never be short of, there was an abundance of alcohol in the house and on the way out of the room he grabbed some vodka. Harry couldn't be bothered to get back up and get up again for more drink and he knew how horrible it was to be comfy on the sofa and have to get up for another one. So it was with handfuls of alcohol that Harry shuffled tiredly back to the sofa.

Once there he collapsed and started on his first beer, they wouldn't be back for at least a few hours and Harry was so grateful for the silence for once.

Meanwhile, the others had arrived at the restaurant.

"Shame Harry isn't back yet, he loves this place, what time does he get back tonight again?" Emma said as she wriggled closer to Danny in order to properly see the menu. She did this every time they came here, she knew exactly what the restaurant served and knew the menu off by heart, not to mention she ate the same thing every time she came but she still loved a little nosy at what it had to offer and that was just one of the things that Danny found cute about her.

"Ohhh erm I think it's after midnight, sometime in the early morning, I wouldn't be surprised if he stayed another night to be honest. It's important he be there for his mum ya know?" Ellie sighed. She knew that things were tough for Harry at the moment and she did enjoy being out with everyone else; because they were practically family to her, but she would rather be cuddled up on the sofa with Harry.

"Nah, he'll be back tonight for sure we have to go see Fletch later on anyways." Tom said.

They ordered their usual and ate up quickly as they were all starving. 2 hours later, after several puddings (for the boys) they left the warmth of the restaurant.

"So on to a club or back to ours?" Dougie said helping Hannah get her arm through her jacket sleeve.

"I wanna go to a club, just one and then we can all head back to yours for drinks." Hannah jumped up and down, excited to be spending time with her friends on her night off from work, she wanted to make the night last as long as possible.

At home, Harry was on to the vodka, 4 beers down and he was starting to feel the room spin. He suddenly had a moments thought to go and join his friends at the club. So he got up and grabbed his phone, taking the vodka with him, he forgot to pick up his keys but it was okay because the door locked as soon as it was clicked shut and one of the others would have keys on them. So he headed off down the road into town.

The wind blew and froze his body. He wished that he'd grabbed a jacket but he was closer to town now than home so Harry kept walking. He drank periodically from the vodka bottle and got closer to civilization.

He was soon in town and about 2 minutes from the club that he knew they'd be in and was about to step up his speed when all of sudden he felt someone creep up behind him … and then there was nothing. Just black. A black abyss that sank in from the corner of his eyes, seeping into his sight until he knew no more and he never felt his body being dragged into a dark alley.

The others were just leaving the club about an hour later when Ellie decided to give Harry a ring and see if he was nearly home.

Dougie and Danny were leading the group up the road a few paces in front of her laughing and joking with each other and Hannah and Emma were just behind her talking about the night's antics. Tom and Jenny were just level with her holding hands. None of them had had much to drink as they all had work the next day.

Ellie sighed as she heard _Hi you're reached me, Harry, I'm not here, leave a message, bye._

Jenny glanced at Ellie when she heard Ellie sigh exasperated.

"What's up babe? Harry's probably just driving; don't worry about it." Jenny moved closer to Ellie trying to comfort her.

"Hmm yeah I just thought that he'd be back by now I mean it doesn't take that long to get back from his parents." Ellie's feeling of worry increased she knew from some type of instinct that there was something wrong.

Danny and Dougie fell back a bit and they all fell into a comfortable and easy conversation.

Ellie tried Harry's phone again just as they were coming up to the corner of the road and all of a sudden they saw a little flashing light just up in front of them and 'Hero' by Enrique Iglesias.

"What the hell?" Ellie murmured, pushing past Dougie and Danny who had yet to catch on and ran the distance between herself and the phone. What she saw took her breath away and she fell back stumbling away from the sight.

By this point the others had caught up with her and they all gasped at the sight of what lay before them.

At their feet, laid against the wall was Harry Judd, bruised and battered, covered in vomit (presumably his own,) with his clothes torn to shreds.

"Fuck! Harry! Harry! Shit … what the fuck happened?" Danny ran to his friend and knelt beside him to inspect the bruises and cuts that littered his face.

The girls were all facing away, horrified by the sight of their friend, and Tom and Dougie soon followed in Danny's footsteps and knelt beside Harry.

"He's out cold. Fucking hell he's freezing" Tom took off his jacket and wrapped it round his friend that was only wearing a shirt.

"We gonna call an ambulance?" Dougie was trying to get his head around what had happened.

Just as Danny was about to answer Harry started to moan. He squirmed in a vain attempt to both make himself warm and evade the hands that were touching him, touching his body, he didn't want that. He couldn't put up with it again. _Not now please_ Harry begged. He just wanted to die. The pain was so intense. It didn't occur to Harry that these touches were different; they weren't harsh, cruel and cold but warm and caring. Harry wasn't thinking straight, he didn't recognise the voices of his friend and girlfriend, simply the owners of hands that he didn't want near him and that was why he didn't hesitate to punch out and felt satisfaction at the grunt; telling him he had hit his target.

It was at that point that, with his eyes still pressed tightly closed, he blindly tried to pull himself up and at the same time shield himself from the retaliation that he thought would come from the person he had just hit.

Danny grunted, pain filling his jaw, _what the fuck was Harry doing?_

"Harry, mate, calm down, its okay, it's me Danny. It's okay, you're okay, we're here now." Danny watched as his friend clawed at the wall, trying to pries himself up with energy he just didn't have, he cautiously moved forward so as not to further scare Harry. But Tom got there before him and gently but firmly grabbed Harry's wrists.

That was when it turned even uglier. Harry squirmed, trying to wriggle away, Dougie moved into help Tom and together they got a good grip each taking one of his hands. Then Tom looked to Danny and Danny walked forward to his kicking and grunting friend. He held his arm out and grabbed a hold of his chin, forcing him to look upwards, fighting against him as Harry shook his head trying to make him lose grip.

The girls at this point were all crying softly watching the battle between the four best friends intently. Ellie moved forward and made an attempt to kiss Harry. Harry simply spat in her face. That was when he opened his eyes.

Blurry figures assaulted his vision, he was cornered, backed against a wall, held against his will and that was when he gave up. He stopped trying to fight back and his whole body slumped.

As soon as the boys felt the fight in Harry die they all strengthened their grips as they knew his knees would buckle.

Ellie whimpered at the sight of her broken boyfriend and she moved again towards him, the spit still slowly crawling down her face.

That was when they heard it, the small whisperings, the pleading of a broken man.

"Please. Not again. No, please, stop, it hurts, please, not again. Please. Leave me alone. Not again. Please" Tears rolled slowly down Harry's cheeks, descending to the bottom of his face and disappearing under his chin.

In a silent agreement the three boys each took a hold of their friend and basically carried him between them the few streets back to their house. All were silent. The girls walked just behind them quietly crying, Ellie couldn't even find the words to comfort her delusional boyfriend and the boys couldn't think of anything to say that would make anything better.

When they got to the house Ellie swept past Tom, Danny and Dougie, quickly running up the steps to open the door. They carefully dragged Harry's still shaking body to the sitting room where the eased him gently down on to the sofa, mindful of the several beer bottles that littered the floor, no one needing to ask whose they were.

Tom went through to get bandages and anti septic, Danny went to get some painkillers and Jenny moved to the kitchen to get some water for him to drink. Ellie kneeled in front of her boyfriend, shocked at the sight of him, tear tracks fading on her cheeks. All the while Harry shook and whimpered, curling in on himself, trying to block it all out.

When they returned, Tom moved towards Harry and carefully pried his hands away from his face.

"Harry, here drink this, it'll make you feel better" Jenny offered him the bottle which Ellie grabbed from her, trying to make herself useful she leant towards Harry and gently poured some water into his mouth, that was in the middle of ranting, taking advantage of the fact that Harry couldn't fight back as his hands were still being held by Tom.

Over the next half hour the 7 of them spent the time trying to clean up their friend who had passed out just after he had been forced the water by Ellie. The painkillers sat unwanted on the coffee table. Soon enough Harry was as clean as could be, dressed in clean pyjamas and lay on the sofa, they hadn't moved him because, through silent agreement, they had all decided to spend the night in the living room watching over their friend, boyfriend and brother.


	2. Chapter 2

_**By the way, I meant to say on the last chapter, and it applies to this chapter too. I don't own anything in connection to McFly, apart from a couple of their cds of course! Please don't sue … I'm just borrowing them, I'll look after them too, well, maybe not Harry as much but I promise to return him all fixed (: **_

_Over the next half hour the 7 of them spent the time trying to clean up their friend who had passed out just after he had been forced the water by Ellie. The painkillers sat unwanted on the coffee table. Soon enough Harry was as clean as could be, dressed in clean pyjamas and lay on the sofa, they hadn't moved him because, through silent agreement, they had all decided to spend the night in the living room watching over their friend, boyfriend and brother._

They had all sprawled out over the sofas and chairs around the living room keeping an eye on Harry and the other on the tv. None of them were the slightest bit interested in the show that was on but it was something to keep them partially occupied while they waited for their friend to wake up.

About an hour in to their wait, there was a movement on the couch that Harry had been laid on, all eyes shot over to look directly on him waiting anxiously for a repeat. There it was again, his whole body tried to curl in on itself again.

Danny shot up from his chair right next to Harry's sofa and knelt by his side.

"Harry. Hey, Haz, it's Danny. You okay? Want some water?" Danny tried to coax Harry out of his almost fetal position.

The voice so close startled Harry so much that his hand shot up and once again connected with Danny's jaw. The others could not do anything but watch as Harry's eyes shot open, blood red, glazed over and puffy, and he pulled himself to his feet. He stooped over at the waist, everyone could see the pain radiating from him. Danny just rubbed his jaw and saw the blood on his hand. He didn't understand what exactly had happened to his friend but he knew it was beyond bad. Everyone held their breath as Harry looked up, directly at them and what he said next shocked them all to the core.

"You're not real. I know that. Stop pretending. Stop it. You're not real. None of you. All dead. All dead." Harry murmured but everyone could hear him. All of them were pained by this.

Dougie stood up and joined Danny, he slowly moved forward with his hand held palm up in what he hoped would be a non threatening manner, until he reached Harry. Then he stood facing him and took a hold of both of his shoulders in a firm but gentle grip.

"Harry, this is real okay, I promise. We're all here, we're home and you're safe now, okay? Everythings okay." Dougie's voice was soothing Ellie thought as she watched him try to comfort her delusional boyfriend.

Everyone thought in that one second that everything was going to be okay but just before they could truly believe it Harry ran.

He barged past Dougie sending him flying in to Jenny and Tom who were sitting on the other couch and ran out the door. Everyone jumped to their feet giving chase, not stopping to think about how much this was going to scare Harry, they found him in the kitchen. Just stood there. Back to them. His head was shaking frantically and he appeared to be looking for an exit. But he was cornered.

Ellie walked towards Harry ignoring the worried looks of the others until she was stood about a metre behind him. Then she walked forwards and embraced Harry in a hug from behind, whispering soothing things into his ears, to begin with Harry was startled. He jumped from the contact. But the little voice in his head told him that it was okay. This person was one that he could trust. So he let himself lose his horrible memories in the hug and next thing he knew he was slowly and very gently being pulled away from where he had stood.

_But I don't want to go with you. Please don't make me go with you. It hurt. _

Harry thought to himself but what he didn't realise was that he had said it out loud. And everyone had heard. Everyone knew how afraid and vulnerable he was now.

Tom came to help Ellie and took a hold of Harry's other side very cautiously. Together they moved back to the sitting room, or at least they tried to, there was a small hitch in their plan.

Harry needed to puke. He needed to be alone. These figures were still crowding him. Familiar figures now though, not like before, not like _them_. With that thought fresh in his mind he burst out of their grip and frantically searched for somewhere to go, somewhere he could be alone, but he was ready to go outside yet, so he ran to the nearest thing he saw… the stairs. He fled up them, away from the voices calling him back, away from the footsteps chasing him and ran through the first door that he reached. Thank god it was the bathroom. Once there he slammed the door shit and somehow managed to bolt it shut. Then, relishing in the quiet, he walked tiredly to the toilet. In the minutes that followed several things happened.

He threw up in the toilet. Over and over again until all he could do was dry retch. And the 7 others had all reached the bathroom door and were listening intently.

"Harry, baby, it's me…Ellie. Please open the door, let us in, or you come out, whichever. Just please. We're not going to hurt you because we love you. Please Harry." Ellie pleaded with Harry hoping against hope for the opportunity to speak with Harry.

All was quiet. The 7 on the outside of the bathroom waited with baited breath for what was about to happen as they'd heard Harry had stopped being sick. Meanwhile on the inside Harry had heaved his weary body to the bathroom wall and dragged himself to the corner. In between the bath and the wall where he neatly wedged himself. Trying to make himself invisible. He knew they'd come for him, they always did, right now he just wanted all of the memories to fade. He now knew they were the good ones, the people on the outside of the door inside of the house were the people he could trust more than any other in the whole world and he knew he'd have to talk to them eventually, just not now.

After a few minutes of silence Danny had had enough and walked towards the door, once there he fiddled with the lock, trying to get it to open. Everyone watched.

"Dan, are you sure that's a good idea? I mean it's obvious he's scared and shouldn't we just let him have a bit of time to get used to things and figure things out?" Hannah asked Danny. She was holding onto Dougies hand very tightly and had the other one in a firm grip with Ellies. She feared for the safety of her friend as much as they all were but she knew what it was like to be afraid.

Danny looked at them all, all his friends staring at him silently, holding their breath, he knew they felt the same as him. They feared what condition they would find Harry in. Danny sighed and turned to Ellie.

"El, why don't you go get Harry some fresh clothes as I reckon he's probably ruined these ones. Then I'll bring him through to your bedroom and he can sleep it off." Danny reasoned with Ellie. He knew, as they all did, that Harry was under the influence of something, his breath wreaked of alcohol and his pupils were twice the size that they should be.

Ellie nodded and slowly moved off but not before taking one last look at the door behind which her boyfriend and soul mate sat alone.

Then Danny looked to the other girls and suggested that they go and make everyone something to drink and a bite to eat. He didn't order them to do so but the three of them knew that it was a good idea and that crowding Harry was too much at that point. Whispering to each other as they walked downstairs they agreed that they would see what was in the boys fridge (probably nothing) and they could always order take out.

That left Tom, Dougie and Danny to stare at the door which was now unlocked. Together the three of them made their way inside. It was pitch black, Harry hadn't had time to turn the light on or perhaps he just hadn't realised. Tom felt about, trying to find the switch, whilst making as little noise as possible. Dougie and Danny looked around the small space trying to find their friend which proved difficult in the dark as their eyes hadn't yet properly adjusted. Then Tom must have found the switch because everything lit up and the three could clearly make out the shape of their friend squeezed in next to the wall.

He had vomit all down his top and had his eyes squeezed shut in what looked like pain. Danny knelt down.

"Hey Harry. Now's not really the best time to ask how you're feeling huh?" Dougie and Tom realised what Danny was doing and they knelt down slowly to join him on the floor.

None of them wanted to appear threatening to their friend; they just wanted him to know that they were there, when he needed them.

Harry looked up. He could now tell that the figures were Tom, Dan and Dougie. He though that he had recognised their voices. He realised then where exactly he was. He was home. No longer out in that dark, dank, cold alleyway but home. Elle. _Where's Elle? They can't have her. Please let her be safe, let her be safe, please. _Harry thought to himself trying to remember if he had seen or heard Elle since he had got back to the house. _How'd I get to the house? Infact why I am I behind the bath?_

They watched him, only able to guess what was going through his head at the time, watching as he suddenly looked up at them. Danny got ready to grab his friend incase he tried another runner.

None of them anticipated what happened next.

Harry looked at his feet and slowly pushed himself up, swaying a little from the effort it took, at the same time each of them clambered up ready to stop him from making a quick exit if he tried.

They could only watch as he slowly shuffled toward them, looking at his feet, until he was within arms distance of them.

"Dan? That really you? Tom? Dougie? Where's Ellie?" Harry started panicking. Everything hit him in a big rush and he would have crumpled to the floor like an empty sack had it not been for his three band mates, his three best friends, the ones who would always have his back. Harry let his eyes close and listened silently to the three of them as they carried him carefully to somewhere that had a big comfy warm bed. Then they set him down and he opened his eyes once all motion had stopped.

The five of them, Ellie, Harry, Tom, Dougie and Danny all sat together and watched one another, until there were footsteps on the stairs, none of them missing the way that Harry flinched at the unexpected noise.

Jenny, Hannah and Emma appeared at the door surprised at the fact that Harry had been coaxed out and appeared semi- lucid.

They handed out drinks, listening to the several 'thanks' that were offered.

Then together they settled in, having got spare blankets from their own rooms to watch over Harry, who had left his tea and slid off into a restless slumber.

_**So…what do you think? Want more? (: please review it makes me warm and bubbly inside (:**_


	3. Chapter 3

Before I begin I just want to say, as I'm sure all of you know, the legendary King of Pop Michael Jackson sadly passed away 3 days ago. He was a hero in the music industry: changing it so that people broke the boundaries enforced by society at the time and allowed them to explore the wonderful art of music with an innate sense of freedom. I don't know about any of you but I for one grew up listening to that genius. In my opinion his music changed music forever, Thriller especially. It was first broadcast in the UK on Channel 4 (or so I was told) and it had to be put on after the watershed as it was deemed so terrifying and scary. All I can say is that before his untimely death I felt nothing but a great sense of pleasure and happiness, optimism and hope when I listened to his songs or watched his videos, now, I feel all of those things, plus the sadness that he died and lost the chance to make more music and yet, through it all, every time his name is mentioned I have these shivers that run through me. Michael Jackson had magic and he used that magic to create his songs,that magic continues every time we play one of them. He made mistakes, sure, like when he dangled his son off the balcony but they were what made him human. This proves that we can all change the world, change peoples opinions…we just have to believe and take strength and courage from my hero, Michael Jackson. Rest in Peace MJ people will forever play your music and deem you the ultimate King of Pop. A true inspiration to humanity for eternity. Never forgotten, never truly dead, alive in his incredible work.

_**Okay that's done. (: I LOVE writing this story (: Don't actually know if any ones reading it besides McSteph so this chapter, like the two preceding it, can be specially for you (: **_

_**I don't own McFly or 'Hero' by Enrique Iglesias. I just wish I did! ): ENJOY!! **_

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?  
Would you run and never look back  
Would you cry if you saw me crying  
Would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?  
Would you laugh oh please tell me these  
Now would you die for the one you love?  
Hold me in your arms tonight?

Harry was startled when his phone unexpectedly started to ring and he flinched as he pulled on his ribs as he got up off of his bed and flung the scattered items that littered his room in search for the annoying phone.

"Hello?" Harry murmured once he'd found it.

"Hello there handsome" An unknown voice whispered huskily down the line.

A voice that was too familiar to Harry for comfort.

A voice that sent shivers down his spine.

A voice that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

A voice that made him feel sick.

A voice that made him feel dirty.

A voice that pretended to be friendly and warm but had a clearly distinct dark undertone that made Harry flinch as soon as he heard it.

Harry couldn't help but drop the phone like it had scalded him and he then continued to back away from where it lay abandoned on the soft carpet. He backed up until he reached his bedroom door. A door that hadn't been opened unless he wanted the toilet. His hand scrambled for the handle, desperately searching for it, and he felt nothing but pure pleasure when he found it, twisted it and ran out quickly ignoring Danny's exclamation of surprise.

Danny had been lying on his bed for a while with Emma because he had run out of energy to maintain everyone's belief that everything was going to be okay.

They could all see that Harry had changed; become more reclusive. He only left his room nowadays in order to go to the toilet and Danny, for one, wasn't even sure if Harry had shaved in the past week.

They could knock on his door for all it was worth and yet he wouldn't unlock it and open it, invite them in, talk to them, tell them how he was. They had given up about 3 days ago and none of them realised that Harry had actually stopped bolting his door shut.

Ellie hadn't spent any time with her boyfriend in a week and it had taken its toll. Of course she still came round frequently but no where near as much as she had before _it _had happened, although that was to be expected because even though they were all the best of friends they were still coupled up and she felt like the 3rd wheel.

Despite the fact that they had all tried to keep joking, continue laughing and generally be themselves nothing would change what had happened to Harry, one of their best friends, yet all of them tried so hard to get everything back to normal.

Danny hadn't seen Harry since the previous day and not a half hour ago he, Emma, Jenny, Tom, Hannah and Dougie had discussed the fact that none of them had even heard Harry speak to anyone, including Ellie, and also that he hadn't eaten.

The 7 of them left food outside of his room by the door. They knocked telling him they were ordering in or that the food was just outside and then walked away leaving him to open the door and get it in his own time. But over the past day or so the three meals that they had left had accumulated there at the bottom of the door untouched and uneaten.

So Danny was surprised to say the least when he saw a Harry shaped figure stumble past his doorway and down the hall. He quickly hopped up to follow and met Emma just outside as she returned from the bathroom.

Emma asked Danny "Was that just me or did Harry just leave his room?"

Danny nodded silently concerned over why his friend had chosen to leave his shelter now. Together the two of them headed down the hall towards muffled voices.

Dougie, Hannah, Tom and Jenny had all been quietly talking about the best way to help Harry when all of a sudden he shuffled in. His eyes darting from side to side, lips moving as he mumbled to himself incoherently in a hushed voice. He didn't seem to notice he had just walked into a room of people and now held their full attention.

Dougie couldn't find anything to say as he watched his friend move around the room seemingly in search of something. Infact none of them did; even Tom who was normally the one person in the band who knew the perfect thing to say that would make everything alright. But they all knew what to think. They were all shocked at Harry's appearance: the way that his clothes hung off his skinny and delicate frame, the week's worth of stubble that adorned his face, his bloodshot tired eyes.

Everyone had heard Harry repeatedly yelling for an unknown person to "Stop" because whatever it was doing "hurt" him, they had all heard him sobbing uncontrollably, they had all heard every smash as Harry threw precious loved objects at the walls in his self made prison.

They all felt the pain.

Tom was just about to stand up when Danny and Emma entered the room holding hands with looks of worry and concern evident on their faces. All 6 pairs of eyes followed Harry's actions as he moved around closing the curtains, unplugging the phone line and Jenny for one couldn't handle seeing one of her closest friends this way. So without further ado she pulled her mobile from the handbag at her feet and dialed Ellies familiar number. All of a sudden she felt a gush of air and a body flung itself to her whipping the phone from her hand. Harry. Harry took her phone and ended the call.

"Hey Haz, look give Jen her phone back yeah? Let her call Elle. It's okay. She was just gonna phone Ellie and ask her to come round" Tom defended his girlfriend knowing what her intentions were. He was as shocked as they all were.

Tom moved closer to Harry who, by this point looked truly demented and put his hands firmly upon his shoulders. He then looked him directly in the eyes. "Lets get a takeaway or something yeah? Invite Ellie, try and relax for a night, enjoy each others company. Come on lets sit down." Tom talked to Harry as if he was a child, using a soothing and calming voice to comfort him whilst he carefully dragged Harry to the nearest couch that was empty. Then Tom helped to sit Harry down who did so reluctantly. He kept one hand on Harry's shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting way and with the other he gently reached over and eased his Jenny's phone from his hand, passing it over to her with a nod that said, "Call Elle…Call her now."

Danny kept his distance from Harry not wanting to spook him and moved to the kitchen to fetch him some water and painkillers.

When he returned a few minutes later he saw Harry with his head in his hands with his elbows resting on his knees. Danny decided to make himself known, "Hey Hazzer, got you some water here mate, dunno if you want them but I got ya a couple a painkillers too. So, I'll, uhm, stick 'em on the floor by your feet yeah?" His northern accent cut through the air.

Jenny returned from the hall having just called Ellie who was on her way over (probably breaking a few speed limits along the way.) She looked at Tom who gave her a strained smile and patted the seat next to him. She joined him as he sat in between her and Harry.

Harry was in a world of his own. He vaguely heard the voices of his friends but they were muffled and seemed far away.

That's why he was so shocked when a body flung itself onto him, engulfing him in an unexpected hug, soaking him in tears, deafening him with sobbing and snotty sniffs. He couldn't handle the contact, so he pushed; he fought back, unlike the last time. He pushed so hard that the body pinning him down was flung to the floor like nothing more but an unwanted rag doll.

Ellie gasped as she was thrown to the floor and winced in pain as she heard a loud _crack_ and felt a sharp pain shoot from her wrist up to her elbow.

Dougie swiftly moved to Ellie helping her up off the floor while Hannah ran to the kitchen to get some ice and the first aid kit.

Silence once again took over the room. Everyone was gobsmacked. Ellie tried with all of her might to hold in the sobs that seemed so determined to wrack her body. She tried to stifle the sounds so determined not to let the tears spill from her eyes.

Danny looked from Elle who was being fussed over by Hannah, Jenny and Emma to Harry whose face was one of the utmost shock.

Harry didn't understand. He hadn't even realised that Ellie was here, he hadn't noticed when Tom gave Jenny a look of encouragement to call her, now guilt fled his body like water cascading over a waterfall. His head shot up at the sound of the _crack _and his eyes focused upon her.

"Oh god, shit, fuck, oh god, I'm sorry, God, Ellie, baby, oh god I'm so sorry. Oh god, Ellie, shit…" Harry's coherent voice trailed off. Tears slowly making their way down his cheeks, lips quivering, whole body shaking, prepared to never allow himself to forget tge pain he had caused her.

Ellie looked at her boyfriend whose body looked as though it was convulsing. She shifted, moving away from the girls fretting towards Harry and knelt straight in front of him maintaining eye contact.

"Harry, baby, listen to me okay? I know you're sorry and don't even think that I believe you meant to cause me pain. Of course it was an accident. There's nothing to forgive love. Every things going to be okay, I promise, we all do. We're all here and we'll get you through this, together as friends. Don't worry. Just let it out baby and then calm down. Here… hold my hand." Ellie tried to soothe Harry. She knew he would never intentionally hurt her but she had to get him to calm down and let loose of all of his pent up emotions.

Nobody moved. They all wanted to leave Harry and Ellie alone to catch up and spend some well needed time together without everyone else crowding them but they all felt compelled to stay. To watch. To protect. They were all in this together. They would all help Harry to get through this and battle his demons.

Hannah announced to the room as a whole, "I'm gonna order a takeaway. Everyone alright with Chinese?" She didn't expect an answer she just wanted to break the deafening silence.

Dougie nodded and gave her hand a quick reassuring squeeze as if to thank her for breaking the quietness and some of the others nodded too. The thing that shocked them all was that Harry nodded with them. He appeared lucid for the first time since the incident.

What they didn't realise though was that this was Harry's way of showing that he had run out of energy to continue fighting. He didn't want food, didn't want to eat, didn't want to sit with his friends and pretend to be happy and jolly, he didn't deserve anyone to help him. He didn't deserve his friends or amazing girlfriend. He deserved what had happened to him especially after hurting Elle. But he couldn't form the words as a lump had created itself in his throat. So he just ended up sitting silently watching as Hannah made the order.

Danny turned on the tv flicking through the channels trying to find something light hearted for them to watch; something that didn't require too much concentration or thinking.

Soon enough the takeaway arrived and the girls brought cutlery through, with no help this time from Dougie as only a few weeks ago they had all sat in the living room like they did on this occasion (although the circumstances were much better) and Dougie had tripped over thin air leading one of the knives to fly through the air and embed itself in the nearest chair. From that day on they didn't let him handle sharp objects as he was deemed a danger not only to himself but the world around him.

Ellie tried not to show the amount of pain that she was in as she ate her meal. She knew that Harry already felt an immense sense of guilt and she didn't want to add to it in any way.

As everyone was watching the episode of FRIENDS that was playing there was a knock at the door. Harry unwillingly tensed from the unexpected noise.

Tom who was still sat next to Harry didn't fail to notice this and firmly put his hand back on Harry's shoulder hoping to calm him and reassure him that he was not alone.

Dougie, meanwhile, looked around checking that everyone was okay with him answering the door, once he had a few nods he stood up and went out into the hall. Danny by this point had stood up and wandered over to the door that led out into the hall hoping to listen to a bit of the conversation but also keep a close eye on Harry. Everyone else sat with baited breathe, silence surrounding them while they listened to the muffled voices. Only a few minutes later they heard the front door squeak shut and locked. They had added a bolt and changed the lock since the incident as they all had felt the need for more protection.

Dougie re-entered the room with a puzzled expression.

"That was a delivery man, said he had a parcel for Harry, couldn't tell me what it was though…" Dougie let his voice trail off as Harry's eyes bored into him.

Reluctantly he handed him the parcel as everyone watched. Harry shifted it around in his hands a bit almost as if he was trying to guess what was in it like someone does with birthday or Christmas presents. Nobody spoke; hell they even tried to hold their breath and stop breathing incase it shattered the delicate silence or added to the increased tension.

To Harry the parcel felt dirty; like a reminder of what had happened. _Why am I so afraid of a parcel?_ Harry thought to himself.

Before he could ponder over it anymore he tore it open and was startled when things fell out and scattered across the floor.

PICTURES.

Everyone saw them. The pictures. Pictures of Harry. Taken _then. That _night. Pictures of him being beaten and raped.

Ellie who was still kneeling on the floor burst into a silent torrent of tears at the sight of them and the next thing she was aware of was being wrapped in one of the girls comforting arms.

Tom looked over Harry at Danny. Dougie stared at Harry who appeared to be in a trance. His face deathly pale and emotionless. Blank, devoid of any expression, the mere sight of his face burned forever at the forefront of Dougie's mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry sat. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to think, he couldn't actually think infact. He just stared into space with the images on the printed pictures fixed in his mind. He didn't hear the several gasps that fluttered around the room, nor did he feel the stares off his friends as they all looked at him, trying to sense how he felt.

Dougie didn't know what to do. He felt pure anger at the son of a bitch that had caused this whole situation in the first place and now he just felt an overwhelming sense of sadness for one of his best friends who was having his worst night paraded around people as if it was a joke. A sick joke. So without thinking anymore he swiftly knelt down and grappled for possession of the scattered objects, and Hannah, who realised what he was doing helped pick a few up. Once all of them had been collected Dougie held them between his slightly shaking hands and raised his eyes to those of Harry.

"Harry … they're gone now, Harry?" Dougie just wanted a sign of recognition from Harry, anything, just a little spark in his eyes to show that he acknowledged his friend had even spoken. Instead he just watched in shocked silence as Harry, one of the calmest people he had ever met, stood up swiftly and launched himself at miscellaneous objects, tearing them apart, throwing them violently at the floor, relishing in the _smashes _and _cracks._

Danny watched, startled, at Harry abusing all of their everyday objects. It wasn't that he was fussed because, afterall, they were only materialistic items which could be replaced, but it was the fact that Harry was never violent. After a few moments Danny broke away from his trance and he ran for his friend. He didn't stop to the think that his sudden actions may startle Harry so much that he may start being violent towards him, he didn't think about his own safety, all he wanted to do was take the pain away from his undeserving friend. Once he got to Harry he put his arms tightly around his waist and pulled, Harry struggled against his restraining hands and started trying to tear their hold away from his middle. Yet Harry underestimated his friends as Tom had also risen from the sofa to help Danny restrain him. He had moved across and took a gentle but firm grip of both of Harry's arms, just between the wrist and the elbow. With that Danny allowed himself to sink to the floor, pulling his struggling friend with him, and he began to rock. Trying to hush his friend, trying to find a small way to comfort him if only for a few minutes, trying to take all of his pain away. Neither him nor Tom noticed the sounds of the others knees as they joined them on the floor, there the eight of them knelt together, all trying to come to terms with everything.

Harry let it out. He started sobbing uncontrollably, huge cries of pure torment that wracked his too thin body, he allowed himself to be pulled closer to Danny's broad and reassuring chest. He allowed himself the pleasure of being comforted.

Ellie looked at her boyfriend, her soul mate, the man whom she had watched grow from just a weedy boy who liked to carry drumsticks on the top of his satchel, to the man that he was today, the man with the small amount of stubble that slightly grazed his strong jaw line, the man who still carried the drum sticks everywhere he went, the man who she said "I love you" to every single day and the man who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She still saw all of those things, all of those beautiful memories when she looked at him at that moment in time but she saw that that same man who used to be her rock was now broken. She just hoped with all of her heart that he was not broken beyond repair. She saw the anguish on Danny's friend as he held on tight to Harry afraid to let go, almost as if Harry would float away into the air, lost forever to them if he did.

She leaned over and took a loving hold of Harry's left arm and keeping a grip on it with her small hand that was dusted with freckles she rubbed it soothingly with her other.

Together they sat through the rest of the night, finding comfort and strength from each other. None of them wanted to think about what was to come, whether or not the man who had turned their once happy lives even better with his unique sense of humour and smile that reached his eyes would ever be the same again after the ordeal he had gone through, they all just wanted to be together and shelter from the storm.

Soon enough one by one they each found their eyelids succumbing to the pulling arms of sleep. Harry even drifted off into an uneasy sleep as well, he dreamt he was back there, in that alleyway in the pitch black with the man looming down on him, tugging on his jeans, yanking them down, his rough nails scratching at Harry's thighs as he harshly attacked Harry. This time though, the dream took a different turn, this time after it was over and the man had left, his friends had come and instead of taking him straight home they took him to the hospital. It was there that they found out he was HIV positive. The bastard had been unprotected after all so it wasn't really that great of a surprise.

The next scene in Harry's restless dream was one where he looked down upon all of those whom he loved as if he was simply a spectator and not included in the events. Harry, or rather the ghost like thing he was, swam through the air and approached where his band mates stood with tears trickling down their faces, each holding the hand of their respective girlfriend and he noticed Jenny tightly holding on to Ellie's hand in a vice like grip. It was then that he wondered where he was, why wasn't he there, and that's when he saw it:_Harry Christopher Judd_

_Friend, brother, son, soul mate and out of this world drummer_

_Forever loved. Eternally missed._

_Always remembered._

Then it dawned on him, he wasn't there because he was dead, he had been lost from the world and all because of the one man who had given him HIV.

He awoke with a shudder that ran its way through his body as if on a thousand legs like a millipede and it shook Harry to his core. He felt warm breath tickle his neck and looked around, startled at first, only to discover it was the breath of Danny. Danny whose hands still hung loosely around his waist having never lost contact even though he was rendered unconscious. Harry then realised for the first time that he was surrounded by his friends, friends that didn't care he was dirty and tainted, friends that stood by him regardless of what had happened simply because they cared. It all became too much, staring round at these people that loved him but didn't realised that this was no longer him. The old Harry Judd, the one who did care about life and his friends, had been lost when his freedom had been stolen away from him. He didn't want to lie or pretend anymore, so he carefully started to get up, ensuring with all of his might that he didn't accidentally knock anyone in the process and wake them up. What he didn't notice was Tom whose eyes were settled upon him watching his actions intently. Harry didn't notice that as he then moved through the kitchen to slide open the glass door and walk into the garden that Tom was following him, albeit slowly and with footsteps that were as quiet as a mouse's. Morning dew littered the dark green grass and Harry could see little cobwebs that also hung with moisture on its surface. He moved along until he reached the wooden bench and then lowered his still painful body down onto it. He thought about his dream. He hadn't questioned why exactly he hadn't been unceremoniously carted off to the hospital for a rape test and medical care, he had assumed it was because they figured that he didn't need to be harassed by anymore strangers even if their only intentions were to help him, why they hadn't taken him the very next morning however was beyond him.

Tom stood in the doorway leaning on the rolled back glass frame watching his friend, noting the crease line in his forehead that he could have sworn didn't exist until the whole incident occurred. Tom decided to make his presence known after a few minutes of silent observation. So he cleared his throat and watched only slightly amused at the way Harry did a small yelp but then as tom thought about it more it wasn't anything to smile about, that was how scared Harry was, he was so afraid that he was startled by the appearance of one his friends. Tom instantly regretted how he even found it funny and moved quickly to join his friend's side.

Once there he asked, "Mind if I join you?"

Harry shook his head but remained silent.

"Look Harry, I can't promise that the next time you wake up everything is going to be back to how it was before _it _happened, okay? No one can promise something like that but I can promise you that one day everything will be better than it used to be. We're all going to get through this okay? We're all in this together and while youexperienced it we all feel it. Maybe not the physical pain but we are all suffering and that's why we all have to stick together. You heard the phrase 'bad things happen to good guys'? Well you're a great guy Harry, one of the best people I know, and now one of the worst things has happened to you but nobody knows why. Why do bad things happen at all? I guess what I'm trying to say is that this isn't the end, while it may feel like it, it's not. So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take the clothes you wore that day to the hospital and they'll know what to do, then we're gonna call your parents because Harry, they have to know, it would kill them if they were to find out about this from anyone else, and no before you go jumping to conclusions NONE of us would ever dream of telling them but who knows what could happen. Harry please, just keep fighting, please, for us? For Ellie?" Tom stopped speaking and took in a deep breath, he hadn't intended to say all of that, hell, he didn't even think he could put his feelings and thoughts into such good words but he had and he couldn't take them back so it was with baited breath that he waited for Harry's response.


	5. Chapter 5

Ok. (: So I really, really, really hope people enjoyed the last chapter I posted and I also really, really hope that people are actually reading this fic. ): but still I enjoy writing it so I won't stop. (:

Disclaimer: I do NOT own McFly, Bryan Greenburg or anything else, ONLY the plot.

On with the show …

_This life is a haze_

_Are these years or are these days_

_Seeing the world while my eyes are still glazed … _

_Bryan Greenburg – Waiting for now. _

Harry let Tom's voice seep through his ears and sat in silence knowing that he should offer a response. Honestly he knew that this was tough on his friends as well as him but selfishly he couldn't find it within himself to really give a damn. A part of him felt angry that whilst they could apparently feel the pain they were still able to laugh and smile, albeit far less than they had done before _it _had happened but still it was more than he could ever hope of doing.

So he sat. In silence, no response was offered to Tom, Harry heard Tom sigh lightly.

Tom couldn't decide what to do, he didn't know what to say, and obviously what he had already said had made no difference to Harry. So instead of wasting his breath he put his arms around one of his best friends and gave him a gentle but firm and hopefully comforting hug, whispering in his ear "One day we're all gonna be okay" before rising up off the bench and heading back inside to start on breakfast for them all.

When Tom arrived back in the house he was met by a concerned girlfriend and a very hungry Dougie.

"Hey baby…how long have you been up for … you look shattered?" Jenny walked towards him and embraced him in a hug. "Gosh, you're freezing too, let's get a cup of tea ay?" With that she moved off to boil the kettle leaving Tom with a starving Dougie.

"How's he doing Tomtom?" Dougie stood up on his tippytoes trying to catch a glimpse of Harry sitting dejectedly on the bench outside.

"Ahh Dougs I don't know, I mean how should he be doing? We should have made him go to the police, they would have got DNA and then we could have caught the bastard that did this. Why didn't we make him go Dougie?" Tom sighed exasperated.

"Because he was in no fit state, we all know that he was drugged, it's blatantly obvious. He would have put up a fight and that would have just made things worse. He was already out of control and we thought it was best to bring him home, make him comfortable, make him feel safe and honestly, where better than in his own home?" Elle said as she had overheard Tom and Dougie talking and decided to make herself known.

Dougie and Tom could do nothing more than nod their heads and agree with Elle but it didn't make things any easier. Almost as soon as they had mumbled in agreement Jenny called saying that the tea was brewed and breakfast was nearly ready so could they wake everyone else up. Tom and Dougie shared a look before directing their attention on Elle, silently arguing over whom should be the one to go outside and inform Harry to come back in and eat.

Elle shook her head lightly, almost smiling at the way that the two friends were acting but then she remembered why they were acting in that way and without further ado she headed out in to the garden leaving the others to wake Danny,

_Don't crowd me to breathe  
Don't ask me I can't speak  
Don't show me I can't see  
So I'll just wait_

_Bryan Greenburg – Waiting for now. _

Elle approached Harry slowly but subtly tried to be rather noisy so as he wouldn't be scared when she got to the bench. It worked. Harry lifted his head up and Elle had to hold in her gasp. His eyes were bloodshot and the bags below were huge. He even looked as if he had wrinkles, which was impossible, yet Elle could see the stress that had taken hold of him.

"Morning babe. There's a pot of tea made inside if you wanna come in … you look frozen" Elle gently perched herself on the edge of the bench and spoke softly.

Harry didn't want to move. He didn't want the company. He didn't want to be warm. The cold helped him but the silence killed him. In the silence all he could do was think about that dreadful night and yet when he was with his friends he wanted the quiet so badly. But he couldn't forget Tom's words. Words that told him it was all going to be okay. Someday.

_Why can't it be today?_ Harry thought.

With that thought at the front of his mind, Harry took his first step into allowing his friends back into his life, he reached out and took Elle's hand.

Back in the kitchen Jenny had served everyone up tea and croissants and they were all tucking in.

Danny stifled a yawn, "you think she'll be able to get him to come inside and off that bloody freezing bench?"

Everyone paused what they were doing, each silently hoping that she could, each of them feeling as though they were running out of ways to help Harry.

Nobody broke the silence that followed Danny's question: an answer in itself. They just continued eating all with the weight of one man's world bearing down on their shoulders. The worst thing was that that man's world was part of their world, a huge part, a part that gave them friendship, love and laughter, and the sun of that particular world appeared to be dying out.

Elle was surprised when Harry took her hand and she could not stop herself from looking at him quickly as if to convince herself that it was not a dream.

Harry felt her looking and quickly dropped her hand as if it has scolded him. He bowed his head, ashamed of himself, thinking he was stupid for even assuming she would still want to be with after he was damaged.

Elle noticed her mistake and she immediately tried to grab his hand. But he pulled away so much so that he was almost sat on them both.

Trying her best to act normal she gave him a small smile and said, "Hey, it's okay, it was my fault, I just had to make sure I wasn't dreaming. That's all. I have missed you so much since it happened even though you've never been more than a few metres away from me, I just needed to look at our hands. So I had proof that this moment, us, is real. Please baby, I never wanted to startle you, I never want you to be afraid again, and I never, ever, will think of you as damaged. You are my world Harry and I'll be damned if I'm willing to let some sick son of a bitch take you from me. So come on, I didn't mean for it to seem like I was rejecting you, I need you. And I think we both need a gallon of Jenny's finest cups of tea."

She knew that Harry had been listening to her every word and this was shown when he began to stand up, slowly because of his weakened state and her heart leapt for joy when he once again took a hold of her hand.

Together they both moved away from the bench towards the house and for the first time Harry was happy with the company.

Everyone else had finished their breakfasts and were sitting in quiet conversation when they heard the backdoor opening. They all glanced up, expecting only to see Elle, all ready to offer excuses to cheer her up, like, "he just needs time" and "he'll be okay". All of them were extremely shocked when they saw her leading a gaunt looking Harry behind.

Nobody said anything as they both filled the two vacant seats, side by side, and together the eight friends sat. Jenny reached over and filled their cups with tea and Tom dished out some fresh croissants.

Harry knew they were trying not to make it obvious that they were watching him carefully. He knew that they wanted him to eat but he couldn't. Even though he was starving and his tummy was constantly rumbling he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Doug, Dan … either of you want these … I'm not hungry." Harry didn't want them to go to waste and Danny and Dougie would never say no to food. Apart from on this occasion. Their heads shot up when they heard Harry talking, his voice rough from lack of use, but both simply shook their heads.

"We've had ours mate, full as a gun, thanks though" Danny said in his gruff Bolton accent feeling quite awkward.

Tom just sighed, he has known that it wouldn't be that easy and yet a big part of him was disappointed. All Harry had to do was take a measly bite of food. As soon as Tom thought this he realized how selfish he was being. But maybe Harry could do without the gentleness and everyone being quiet. So he looked at Harry and said "Oi, I slaved over the oven for them, all 10 minutes worth, my sweat went into them, well not my actual sweat…" Tom was already beginning to wish he hadn't started this approach but he continued, ignoring the shocked faces of his friends, "You know that you need to eat Harry so please just do it. Okay? They won't kill you, they're actually really tasty, please just eat."

Harry's jaw dropped down in surprise when he heard his friend who was always softly spoken and polite. But he did as he asked and lifted the croissant up to his mouth and took a big bite.

**Sorry… I dunno what you'll make of this chapter. I'd already written it ages ago and I really like the start of it but I just wrote the rest of it which I'm not so sure about. Feedback would be much appreciated … good or bad. **

**Thanks and I'm sorry for the delay in updates. I started uni in September and it's just been an absolutely hectic 2 and a bit months. **


	6. Chapter 6

_**Im soooo sorry for this update taking like forever, but you see, I finished uni for the summer and thought that I would have agesss to update this story but then I got a stupid job which I actually REALLY detest and I just haven't felt like writing in a while. Plus my laptop was naughty and broke so i had to wait while I got a newww one. I kinda have run out of where exactly to take this story so I was thinking it would be cool if you told me what you wanted to see, like anything imparticular and that'll maybe give me some sort of direction... **_

Harry continued to eat his croissant. Taking bite after bite, wishing that he were alone without the crowd of watching eyes but he knew that they were only worried about him and to some degree he understood, but just as he thought that he had the whole eating thing down he felt his stomach disagree. He quickly rose up but his brain couldn't decide which direction to send his legs in and he ended up just vomiting all down himself. He coughed and spluttered and didn't know what to do, he knew that they were all still there, and were probably far more disgusted than they ever had been with him. He just wanted to run away but his whole body had frozen and he could do nothing except stand with his head bent looking down at the sickly mess that adorned his clothes.

Tom could do nothing but watch as his friend was sick all over himself. He simply looked around the table to see how everyone else had reacted.

Dougie however was the only one of them who jumped out of his seat and went over to Harry and put his arm around his shoulders nudging him, saying "Hey it's okay. You should know by now, Tom's like the worst cook ever. Shouldn't touch his food." He giggled a little bit as if nervous of how his friend would react to this. As the silence once again rained down upon the friends Dougie decided that he should lead his friend to the shower.

"Dan, mate, you wanna go grab Haz some fresh stuff while he has a shower?" Dougie asked quietly all the while maintaining eye contact with Harry who was still yet to react from the recent events. The question seemed to shock everyone out of their freeze and sent them into action. All except Elle who simply sat and stared at her boyfriend. She couldn't believe that this was what had become of him, all because of a disgusting man, a disgusting, foul, cruel man who had took her boyfriend away leaving just the shell of his body behind.

Danny left the room as quickly as he could. All the while thinking about the beating he would love to give to the man who was responsible for it all. The man who had ruined his friend's life. The man who had made even eating the most difficult of chores. He took the stairs upto Harry's room two at a time and entered almost at a jog. It wasn't until he had already started towards the wardrobe that Danny took in the state of the room. To say that it was completely trashed would be a complete understatment. It was horrendous. Clothes and possessions were scattered and strewn across the floor, posters ripped from the walls, notepads for lyrics scrumpled and torn into small heaps like dying fires littered the floor. He couldn't believe his eyes. He hadn't stepped foot in this room since a few days after the "incident" but he was now wishing that he had. After a few minutes spent staring at the mess Danny pulled himself together and rememebered why he had first come in. To get the spare clothes. He darted out and back down the stairs finding everyone still in the same position they were before.

Dougie was still maintaining a loose hold on Harry's arm possibly in fear that if he were to let go he would simply crumple to the ground.

Harry blinked. And blinked again. His brain couldn't process anything anymore. Besides the fact that someone's dirty hands had been all over his body and their progress documented by the same filthy hands. The pictures were still there. By the side of his desk. Where else could he put them really? Even if he was to shred them into a thousand tiny strips the memories would forever be engrained on the forefront of his mind. He would never lose them.

Tom still didn't move. He just watched as Danny slinked back into the room and together they made eye contact conveying that they were both as clueless as they imagined everyone else to be regarding the circumstances.

Nobody moved for the next few minutes while Harry stood still covered in his own vomit. Eventually Elle got up and moved over to Danny and silently took the clothes from his arms.

"Come on Harry, let's just get you changed ay?" Elle went in and began to tug his top up but was shortly stopped by Harry. His hands roughly shoved hers away and he looked at her with startled eyes, as if just having been woken up from a peaceful slumber, he seemed to be processing the current events and suddenly snatched the clothes from her outstretched hands. He then hurried out of the room leaving behind occupants that were still trying to come to terms with the latest development.

Tom and Danny followed their friend from the room only a few seconds after he had left it and watched as he retreated back to his room. Of course, they too went to his room and watched from the doorway as he slowly lifted his arms above his head to shed himself of his now soiled t-shirt. Yet neither could completely stifle the shocks that emanated from them as they took in their friends wounds left over from the assault. A barrage of bruises and scratches ran down his back and sides, bruises in the shape of the cruel mans fingers adorned the backs of his arms.

"My God. Harry. Mate. Come here." Danny didn't know what else to say, nothing it seemed would ever be adequate enough to cover what had happened. No words would erase it. No sweet lullaby would send him to sleep with peaceful dreams. So Danny offered all he could and wrapped his arms around his friend and together they sank to the floor, as if performing a dance recitle, Tom thought. Their bodies both shook from the meer enslaught of tears and sobs that racked their bodies. Harry because he realised that the life he had known, the simple life, the one he loved, the one with the girlfriend and band and record label, that life was gone. In its place a new life full of nightmares. Danny, because he knew that despite all of the wishing and all of the hoping nothing would ever change the fact that this had happened, nothing. It was during that cold, dark realisation that Dougie and the girls walked in and took their places next to Tom to watch their friends weep. There was not a single dry eye in the room and time moved slowly as heard from the ticking clock.

Tom sighed. It wasn't that he didn't feel bad for Harry, of course he did, he just knew that this wasn't working. It was like one step forward two steps back as the old saying goes and he wasn't sure how long any of them could keep the facade up for anymore. So it was with a heavy heart that he came to his realisation. He took one last look at his pitiful friend and left the room silently.

A little while later he re-entered the room to find that everyone had started to tidy up the mess of a room and that Danny was now perched on the bed beside a drowsy, sorrowful looking Harry whose eyes seemed almost dull, lifeless even. His eyes drank in the scene for a few quiet moments but then decided that he could no longer prolong what he had to do. So it was with a gulp and a silent prayer that Tom prepared for the inevitable fireworks that were to follow. "Harry we called your parents. I'm sorry but they needed to know. They're on their way and are gonna stay for a while."

_**Soooo? What do you guys think? I REALLYYYY hope that you liked it. Like I said before I'm really sorry for not updating for so long. It may be a little while until my next update because I've just got a new laptop and havent bought Word or anything yet but I do have a copy although it is limited to a certain amount of uses...If you get me? The good news is that I'm slowly getitng back into my writing (: So it's safe to say that however slow it's going I'm not abandoning this one! (:**_


	7. Chapter 7

Nobody moved. Harry, despite his dishevelled appearance and tears that hurled themselves down his face looked at Tom with shock stricken eyes.

"What did you do? Fuck Tom. You knew I didn't want that. You fucking knew it. But you couldn't help yourself could you? Look at you, all high and fucking mighty, standing there. Bet you're all smug with yourself aren't you huh?" Harry stood up clumsily and pushed Danny's hands away from him.

Tom took Harry's words in but couldn't believe his ears.

"Harry mate, I'm sorry but I couldn't stand not doing anything anymore. Look at you. Huh? Look at the state of you. I know it's not your fault okay? Please Harry, your family can help you. But you have to let them."

"Get out. You, you slimy bastard, get out of my house. You talk about me. Hah! You've been sleeping with Elle and don't lie to me. I see it in your faces. You know I couldn't do fuck all about it. Get out" Harry screamed, spit flying from his mouth as he ran at Tom. Grabbing his t-shirt collar between both hands and pushing him to the floor, landing on top of him and shaking him. A punch thrown to his face and Tom did nothing. No one did anything. They were too shocked.

When Elle realised what was happening she ran to her boyfriend and tugged, trying to pull him from Tom, who had blood dribbling pathetically down his chin.

After what felt like a lifetime Danny and Dougie followed and yanked at Harry who was still screaming abuse at Tom who just lay on the ground staring at Harry in disbelief.

When the two boys had finally managed to seperate Harry they continued to hold him, restraining his arms as he continued to shout abuse at Tom before he directed his abuse at Elle.

"And you huh? You know I'm right. While I've been suffering you've been with him. I can see it in your eyes. Did you really think that I wouldn't notice?"

"Babe, what are you talking about? I've never even thought about sleeping with Tom. Why would I? Why would he for that matter want to sleep with me? Look at yourself. Look at Tom for Christ's sake. What have you done?" Elle cried with tears in her eyes.

"I think we should give Harry a few minutes yeah?" Tom mumbled as he pulled himself off the ground.

With that the girls and Tom all exited the room silently leaving Danny and Dougie alone with Harry whose chest was heaving from the sheer exertion of wrestling one of his best friends to the ground in a violent attack.

"What the fuck was that mate?" Danny asked Harry angrily.

Harry simply turned his back to his two friends and went to lie on his bed facing away from them.

"Come on Dan, we'll go see to Tom, give you some peace Harry alright?" Dougie reached for Danny and lightly started to push him from the room.

Harry just lay there. He didn't understand. He'd never mean to attack Tom. It just kind of happened. And he knew that Elle hadn't cheated on him. She wouldn't do that. Tom wouldn't do that. Would they? All Harry knew for sure was that he was tired, he hurt, he was sure that the scratches on his back had ripped open and were probably bleeding but he somehow didn't have the energy to care anymore. So he lay there. Thinking about his family. The fact that his mum, his poor mum who was already suffering so much was now going to be worrying about him and that made the whole thing so much worse because now he was going to have to explain it all. He was now going to have to relive the whole ordeal again to the people he loved. He was going to have to watch their faces as the news was taken in and the expression that plastered itself on their faces-letting him know that they wouldn't see him the same way again.

Deep down Harry knew he shouldn't have attacked Tom. He could barely remember what had actually happened because of the blind rage that had all of a sudden taken over him. He knew he had said some things that he probably shouldn't have but he had no idea exactly what it was that he had said.

He just continued to lie there wishing the world would swallow him whole into a dark abyss where he would no longer have to think, no longer remember the touch of those cold hands as they touched and caressed his skin, no longer feel the imprints of that cold breath that sent shivers down his neck. He just wanted to forget. But he couldn't. Nor could he forget the look of horror on Tom's face. Elle. Shit. All of what he had said came flooding back to Harry at that moment and sobs of horror shook his body. He couldn't believe the fowl words that had rushed from his mouth. He'd told Tom to leave. Accused his best friend and his girlfriend of cheating.

Harry curled in on himself and began to rock in the most pitiful way. His hands balled into fists began to hit his head. Howls sprung from his lips in protest of his body's actions. But he couldn't stop-he deserved it. So he bit into his fist and pulled, he raised his left arm and hit his leg with all the strength he could muster, with his right hand he reached up and tugged some of his hair.

Dougie who had been stood silently just outside of the room peered in when he heard the noises coming from Harry's room. He gasped when he saw what Harry was doing to himself and ran in straight away and jumped on Harry. Grabbing his hands and yanking them away so he could no longer self inflict any injuries upon himself. Dougie held on to Harry and shuffled closer until he was able to pull Harry into a tight embrace, squashing his arms so that he couldn't hit himself anymore. This was the way that Dougie held him for the next hour until Harry fell into a fitful sleep. No words were exchanged. No words as Harry's eyes had been tightly closed the entire episode. Dougie couldn't even be sure if Harry had known who it was exactly that had held him.

There was a quiet knock on the door and Dougie lifted his head from the pillow that it had been resting on, to look up on the intruder, Danny.

Carefully and silently, Dougie checked that Harry was asleep and then lifted himself off the bed to join Danny.

"What do we do Dan?" Dougie ran his hands through his hair. He didn't know how to help his friend and that was the worst thing of all. The fact that he had never ever known anybody who had been raped, he didn't know where to begin.

"I dunno Doug. I mean he fucking hit Tom, God he hit him, he accused Elle, fuck Doug, what's happened to him?" Danny had never been so afraid in his life.

A noise came from the living room and both boys turned to see Tom appear with a small bag.

"Guys, I can't stay here right now, this isn't what he needs, if he sees me then he'll kick off again, I'll go stay with Jen for a few days until his family arrives." All the girls had already left, almost straight after they had left Harry's room. None of them wanted to be around for the next explosive meeting involving Harry.

"Tom, he didn't mean it, he knows Elle wouldn't cheat on him and just as importantly he knows that you would never do that to him. Please just stay here. Please!" Danny couldn't bear the idea of him and Dougie being the ones to contend with Harry. He knew that Harry had been through a lot and therefore having friends around him was the most important thing. But nothing, it seemed, could persuade Tom to stay as he headed to the door.

The first thing that Garry heard when he woke up was small voices saying "Bye Tom."

_**Sooooo? What did you think? To be perfectly honest I'm not sure about this chapter...I didn't really get into it...if that's possible? Ermmm let me know what you think anyways and what you would maybe like to happen because I LOVE! Writing this particular story but it's a shame because I don't seem able to handle it anymore. Somehow I think I've written off more that I can chew... :'( xx**_


	8. Chapter 8

**So sorry that it's taken me so long to update! I can't believe how quickly this year has gone! Just thought I'd try to slip in one last update for 2010! Hope you enjoy and as always criticism is always good to have **** the more helpful the better obviously though and I clearly still do not own anything in affiliation to McFly, this will always make me sad **

Harry lay there thinking back over all that had gone wrong. His body ached from the self inflicted injuries, his eyes hurt from all the tears and his palms were sore from when he'd dug his nails into them, hell, even his scalp hurt from tugging on his hair so damn much!

Dougie and Danny sat in the kitchen quietly both nursing a beer.

"Doug where'd it all go wrong?" Danny asked.

"I dunno, I mean he was raped. How did he get raped? Why? I never even thought to ask why he'd decided to come meet us in town. Thank god we went home when we did but I can't help wishing we'd gone sooner. I mean how long was he lying there for Dan, how much did he have to go through? Why him? And Tom, why the hell did Harry go off like that at him? I'm glad he called his family, they should know about this, and I know his mum's ill but she'd want to be there for him." Dougie trailed off, having just said everything that he'd been thinking, he was slightly happy when Danny murmured his agreement.

"Should we go in and see him do ya reckon?" Danny questioned after a few minutes of silence.

The pair of them got up and made their way to Harry's room where they found him still lying with his back to them.

"Haz, mate, you awake? Should come through and have a bite to eat, ya must be starving!" Danny said softly from the door.

Harry blinked slowly, he was awake, had been for hours it seemed but he rather they didn't know that.

Dougie padded carefully towards the bed and sat down next to his friend and began to rub little circles on Harry's back.

"Harry, come on, we know you're awake. Can't fool us…we're the mighty McFlys" Danny grinned slightly when he heard the way Dougie spoke of them. But then it dawned on him that there was nothing "mighty" about them now: Tom was gone.

Danny also moved towards Harry and whispered, "Mate, your dad rang about 20 minutes ago, they'll be here tonight, we said that we'd go stay with the girls if you want or we'll just stay here, completely up to you. Whatever you want, we'll do."

As he finished saying this he climbed onto the bed and slid in between Harry and the wall. Now that he was facing his friend he saw the extent of the mess he was in. His eyes were bloodshot and glazed, his hair was matted and his clothes were wrinkled.

"Me and Doug were talking about it in the kitchen just now, and we think that even if Tom may have gone about this in the wrong way, you wouldn't have agreed to have your family here anyway, and they have a right to know. There was no way we were going to be able to keep this from them." Danny said as he soothingly stroked Harry's leg.

For the first time since they'd entered his room Harry showed that he was awake. He looked up at them softly and said, "I know it is. But it doesn't make it any easier to know that they know. They know that a fucking man forced me… They know that he touched me... They know where he touched me…" Tears started to run from Harry's eyes.

Danny and Dougie looked at each other. Both silently praying that they could find a way through it for their friend.

Harry sniffed, he didn't want to cry anymore, everything hurt. Without a word he twisted his body until he rose off the bed. He padded softly through to the bathroom where he stood, perching his hands on the rim of the sink and sighed heavily at his reflection. He continued to do this for several minutes before shaking his head at himself and proceeding to wash his face.

All the while Dougie and Danny were left in his room.

"Should we, yer know, go pack some stuff in case we are leaving?" Danny asked of Dougie quietly.

Together they left Harry's room and went to pack a few bags.

Then they heard the doorbell.

Danny went to open the door while Dougie went and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Harry, mate they're here. You done? We'll make 'em a cuppa or something yeh? No rush mate." Dougie sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He just wished he could rewind time so that it never happened. Just as he was about to head to the kitchen where the voices were, the bathroom door opened, revealing a freshly shaven Harry Judd.

"Hey Dougs, erm would you please stay? You and Dan I mean? I mean I love my family and all but I can't handle those silences anymore. Please?" Harry would have got down on his knees and begged if it had come to that but luckily Dougie simply clapped him on the should and smiled softly.

"Course we will pal. No worries. Now, you ready for this? Remember me and Danny are with you too. Alright? If it seems to get too intense then we'll do something funny…like I dunno that farting trick we came up with or, orrrr, oooh I know, we could do our dinosaur impressions..." Dougie trailed off after realising that he'd been rambling slightly.

Harry followed Dougie back through to the kitchen to find his family perched in various places. His mum, who was holding a cup of tea was so excited to see her son that she almost dropped it, made her way over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Well hello my boy. It is so good to see you." His mum's voice rang out in the quiet room and as soon as he heard it Harry felt himself crumbling.

"Hi mum" was all he could manage to get out and it seemed as though everybody present knew this, so without further ado, his mother let go of him and he was gently hugged by his dad, brother and sister.

"It's good to see you all." Harry managed to say once all the hugging was finished. He turned his body towards the kettle desperately trying to blink back the tears. This went unnoticed by everyone there but they all ignored it.

Once everyone had a drink they moved through to the living room.

"How you doing my boy?" Harry's dad asked Harry as they sat on the same sofa.

Harry just nodded and replied with a simple, "I'm getting there Dad, gonna take a while I think…" His voice trailed off, unsure of what else he could possibly say.

Tom, Harry's brother, chose this moment to speak up, "Bruv, got ourselves some rooms booked at that hotel…The Swan I think? Just thought the house would be dead full if we all kipped here. Was thinking we could have lunch tomorrow. All of us…" He let silence rain on the room as he nodded at Danny and Dougie then continued to ask the question, "Where's Tom?"

At this Harry choked on his cup of tea.

Dougie, seeing Harry's reaction, interrupted by saying, "He went to stay at Jen's…House was a bit full so good thinking bout the hotel… but if you change your minds me and Dan can always shift our butts for a couple of nights. You just let us know." Tom sent Dougie a grateful look. One that showed he was very happy at the way they had looked after his brother. That one look said a thousand things and soon enough Harry's father also sent one to Danny.

Danny quickly got up off the sofa and headed out the room. Dougie sat twitching slightly as he fiddled with the fraying sofa material. It had suddenly become unbearably quiet. Luckily, before the silence managed to deafen anyone, Danny returned… "Just sent a message to Tom telling him youse were 'ere and I think he'll probably pop along to show his face."

Tom did show up and everyone, including Harry, greeting him with a smile. Harry's family all moved in to hug the boy straight away…they had long since treated the members of McFly as family and this time was no exception. Once those greetings were finished Harry managed to lift his eyes up off the floor from where they had been rested and quietly excused himself from the room. As he left he missed the looks that were shared by everyone. They knew that he regretted what he'd done to Tom.

Tom glanced at everyone, said "Excuse me a second" and then followed Harry.

He found him pouring a rather generous glass of whiskey and eyed him up carefully before making himself known.

"Think you should be drinking that mate?" He asked as Harry knocked it back, wincing as it burnt his throat.

"What do you care? Didn't really care about me before you invited all my family here for the 'Let's Pit Harry Party' that seems to be going down." Harry spat out as he poured himself another glass.

"Harry. I do care. Alright? Maybe I care too much. I mean what else can I do? I didn't sleep with Elle. And you know, deep down, as much as you maybe don't want to admit it, but you know that neither of us would ever dream of doing such a thing to you. Never mind what you've been through or not. Hell, I've even moved out to make it easier for you. I just hate seeing you like this." Tom held his arms up to stop Harry from interrupting as he was just about to open his mouth.

Tom continued on to say, "I know you don't want to be like this either. It's just one of those things. Something that happened to you but is affecting everyone because, whether you want us to or not, we give a damn about you."

Harry poured himself another small glass of whiskey and was just about to drink it when Tom reached and took it out of his hand.

"What the fuck are you doing? Give it back" Harry confronted Tom.

However, Tom merely replied with, "No, your family have just got here and you would do well to stay sober. Even just for tonight. I think you've had enough yeh?"

Harry's dad then cleared his throat from where he'd been stood watching the scene play out.

"Harry. Tom's right, come on. You look shattered. Why don't we make you a hot chocolate and you fall asleep in the living room. Come on, your mum and sister have made you a bed up in there. Nobody's going to judge you or treat you like a baby. We just want you to get a good night's sleep for once." Harry's dad walked towards his son and gently took his arm leading him through to the living room where everyone was sat round talking in low voices. Tom followed them and noticed that everybody quietened when they entered.

Danny rose up and took Harry from his dad and led him back out of the room towards the bathroom. There he left Harry with a set of clean pyjamas and headed back to the living room.

"He's getting changed. I'm glad youse are here. It's not that we are ashamed of him or anything but it's just so hard to even help him have motivation to do even the most mundane thing." Danny took a deep breath after this having just said it all in one big breath.

"Oh I know dear. But you know Harold. He won't ask for help, he wouldn't ever come tell us if he'd slipped over when he was little. Even if we asked him he wouldn't admit anything. I guess he just hasn't got out of that habit." His mum sighed and rubbed her forehead.

Harry headed back to the lounge because he knew it was a battle that he wouldn't win especially considering the whole band and his entire family were involved. When he entered Danny moved and let him have a seat on the sofa and his sister passed him a hot chocolate, where her hand lingered on his for longer than necessary, and she gave him a comforting look.

There was little conversation as they all sat round, seemingly waiting for Harry to start falling asleep because as soon as he did, there was movement in the room and his dad and Danny half lifted him to the air bed where he fell into his first good night's sleep.

**Well…. I hope this chapter is okay! It took me a long time to write…longer than the other chapters have. I love this story but I can't help wishing that I was simply reading it written by someone else. It's quite hard to get back into but I guess it's my fault for leaving it so long. Sorry again about that. Anyways hopefully it won't be too long 'til my next update. Hope you all had a lovely Christmas and Happy New Year! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow. Can't believe I'm only updating for the first time this year! Which is going by unbelievably fast! Got a day off from uni today so thought I'd try and do an update. Just trying to get back into this story. And it doesn't help that I've been reading lots and lots of other amazing stories and so it's hard thinking of original ideas again after having left it for so long. But I can do it **** because all of you lovely readers and reviewers deserve a good chapter **** So hopefully you'll enjoy it and I'll be able to write more frequently from now on! I will finish this story and right now there is no end in sight so plenty more McFly love on its way! **

**As always I don't own McFly….if only…*wishes***

As Harry slept his mum looked round the room at the three other members of McFly.

"Do you know how it happened?" She asked them gently.

"Well," Dougie sighed, his mind going back to that dreadful night, "We were out for a meal when Haz was driving back from visiting you and then we decided we'd go out for a few drinks at this club. We called him and left him a message telling him but we didn't think he'd fancy it. Then, I dunno, he must have changed his mind." Dougie trailed off. His thoughts swirling about how he wished he would have not gone to the club. How he could have found his friend sooner.

Tom watched as Dougie struggled with what he was saying. "When he left the club Elle rang him and then…then…that's when we saw his phone flashing and heard his ringtone. It's Hero by Enrique…you know the one we always make him sing at a gig?"

Danny smiled along with everyone else. He picked up from where Tom had left off. "We found him, he was on the floor and it was clear he'd been drinking, when we got home we found some empty beer bottles. But when we were out there, it looked like he'd taken something, his eyes were funny, and he didn't really know what was happening. We were lucky in a way that nobody had found him and taken pictures of him because I know he wouldn't have wanted them in his state obviously. But we all just wish that we'd found him sooner. We didn't take him to hospital because, honestly, the only thing we wanted was to get him home and let him know that he was safe. He was finding it a bit hard to understand what was going on and we knew it would be a lot harder to take in if there were doctors and police and stuff. We know that you'd have rather we took him straight there but we didn't know what to do. We're sorry. We know it would have been better had we taken him. Just he was so scared and we were scared and everyone was crying and and…" Danny had rambled, his words mixing together until it was just a long string of jumbled noise. Yet everyone had understood.

Danny reached up to wipe away the tears that had slipped from his eyes.

"Thank you." Harry's mum looked at each of the three boys and held their eye contact for a few seconds to try and convey her gratitude to them for looking after her son.

"My boys, if I had been in your position I could only hope that I would have acted with the responsibility and care that you three did. Yes, the hospital could have probably cleaned him up a bit better just because they have all the right equipment and they're used to this type of thing. This is a horrible thing to believe that somebody would get used to seeing it. But you boys brought him _home_. You're his friends. You didn't just see him as another person who was a victim. You saw him as who he is…Harry Judd. My son and I have never, in the whole time I have known you three, been as proud as I am right now. I can't thank you enough."

By the time Harry's mum had finished speaking there was not a dry eye in the room.

During the time she was speaking his dad had knelt down beside his youngest son and looked at the state of him.

"When was the last time he had a good night's sleep do you know?" He enquired.

Dougie was the first to answer, "We dunno. He does get into bed sometimes but my room's next to his and I can hear him at night, I don't think he sleeps very well."

At this Thomas, Harry's brother, piped up and said "Dad do you reckon we could get him some sleeping tablets to just keep him under for a bit. He looks wrecked."

Harry's dad nodded thoughtfully, "What does everyone think?"

Everyone nodded and agreed that it sounded like a good idea and so, without further ado, Thomas left the room, presumably to make some calls.

Harry's sister, who until this point had been very quiet chose this moment to speak. "Why did he turn on you Tom?"

Tom sighed, running his hand through his hair, "He thought Elle and I had slept together. He hit me but I know he never meant to do it. He was just emotionally drained I guess, hadn't been sleeping or eating and Elle hadn't been round much."

"Oh okay. Is that why you weren't here earlier?" She asked.

"Yeah I went to stay with Jen. I just wanted to give him some space. I know he didn't mean it and I'm not angry at him. I don't think I could ever be angry with Harry if I'm honest. I just didn't want him to feel guilty just yet. That's all."

Conversation soon died until everyone just sat slumped on the various chairs that littered the lounge. After a little while Harry started to stir. His eyes slowly blinked open. The he remembered. Remembered that his family was there. His family was watching him sleep.

_They're treating you like a baby. A silly ickle baby. A baby that cries in his sleep. A lickle Harry Judd. Who needs babysitting. _

He quickly shut his eyes. Hoping against hope that nobody had noticed he woke up. But they had. They knew he had by the way he had gone from relaxed to tense in a matter of moments.

Dougie wanted to distract attention away from Harry, he knew he wasn't really asleep but he knew how much he hated that he was being monitored and observed. So he tried to let Harry have an excuse to avoid them a bit longer.

"I'm starving. Anybody want something to eat or drink?"

He got up and sauntered out of the room after he had a couple of murmured requests for sandwiches and cups of tea. He was soon followed by Harry's brother and sister.

Danny, Tom and Harry's parents were left sitting with the now awake boy. Each trying to think of some way they could get him to show that he was awake.

Tom had an idea but wasn't sure if it would backfire or not. He went with it anyway. "I'd better go. Don't want Harry to have to put up with me when he wakes up. It's the last thing he needs." He gave a meaningful look to each of the people in the room as he stood up, stretching his stiff back a little. "Just, please could you do me a favour and tell Harry that I didn't sleep with Elle. I'm sorry for whatever I've done to make him think that. I just wish he'd believe me. Give me a text or something if you can just to let me know how he's doing. Even if he hates me I still care about him, he's still my best friend and I love him."

Harry heard every word. Every one was absorbed in his head. He knew that Tom hadn't slept with Elle, of course he did, but the worst thing was he didn't even understand why he thought they had cheated on him. He couldn't understand the way his mind was working.

_That's because you're stupid. Thick. You are an idiot. You deserved to be raped. Every single time, you deserved what he gave you; you want it again don't you. You know the number that calls your phone on a night. On the outside you pretend not to. But you do, you know the one that "raped" you. You don't even think of it as rape anymore and you're stupid for that. You became too complacent and that's why he left you there. Open and abused, in a place where your friends would find you. They pity you. They pity you when you sleep. They pity you when you're awake. It happens to you because you're weak and you deserve to feel dirty and unwanted. _Voices chanted in Harry's head. Voices that were always there. Always at the back of his mind, whispering the truth, the truth he didn't want to hear. He whimpered. Then he squeezed his eyes shut more. He'd given it away. He'd shown them he was awake and he **was **stupid. He believed those voices because they were telling the truth.

The four people remaining in the room looked at each other in shock when he gave it away.

Tom continued, knowing he may be about to push his luck, "See you tomorrow, night everyone." He started his walk towards the door, his hope at a reaction from Harry fading with every step.

**Well I didn't really know a good place for a cut off point. So I decided on a little cliff-hanger. I honestly don't know if I want Harry to show them that he'd been listening or not. But I hope that this chapter was okay. I know it's short but it took me a while to write. Hopefully I'll get some more inspiration and be able to add soon, fingers crossed, even later on today, sometime tomorrow or at the weekend. Thankyou so much for reading as always and as per I'm happy to take constructive criticism. Also I'm still open to hearing about ideas with which way you want to see this go. If you want any specific scenes between anyone then let me know. The girls are probably going to get written out as I want to focus more on the band. Hope this is okay **** thanks and hope you enjoyed! X**


	10. Chapter 10

Harry opened his eyes. He heard Tom heading to the door. He wanted to take it all back. The angry words, the punch but he knew he didn't deserve Tom's forgiveness or friendship. But he'd heard what Tom had said when he thought that Harry was asleep and it was those words that had ignited within him a small spark that was growing. A small shimmer of hope that he could regain one of the best friendships he had ever known.

"Tom…" Harry whispered his friend's name quietly, almost shocked at his own gravely voice from disuse.

Everyone in the room was shocked. They hadn't expected it to work. They all sat with baited breath.

"Tom I'm so so sorry. I know. You wouldn't lie to me. Even though you should. I deserve it after what I did to you. I'm so sorry and I know you won't forgive me but I just want you to know that I'm sorry… I'm sorry... I'm sorry…." Harry whimpered as tears started to fall from his beautiful blue eyes. His hands made their way to his scalp as he kneaded them through his hair, tugging on strands and sobbing. As the tears leaked from his the blue pools of his eyes the voices started once again.

_Hahaha silly billy ickle wickle Harry Judd. Look at yourself. Wait, don't, you see if you looked in the mirror you'd break it. Get seven years bad luck for that you do. Ohhhh have you broken one before? Is that why you let yourself get raped? Awww poor little Harry. Look at you all snotty and blotchy. No wonder everybody's trying to get away from you. Tom would have as well until you held him back there. You hold everyone back Harry. They can't be great with you there, ruining everything, spoiling everyone's fun. You should let them get on with their own lives. You should leave them alone. Poor lickle Harry Judd. _

Tom watched as his friend started to break down. He stood for a second, cursing himself for this stupid plan, and then, when that second was over he awoke from his mind slumber and ran to his quivering friend.

"Harry, Harry listen it's Tom. Okay, listen, I forgive you. There's nothing really to forgive but I do anyway, I love you. You're my best friend and I could never hate you. You didn't deserve to be raped and you most certainly do not deserve all of this. Now, come on," Tom grabbed his friend's arms, stilling their movement so he couldn't rip at his scalp. He looked around the room at the other occupants. Harry's parents were sitting, looking at their youngest child with astonished expressions. They hadn't known what to expect and as they had never seen their strong son like this before they hadn't been able to react.

As Tom looked around he noticed that Dougie had returned and was watching with tears dribbling down his pale cheeks. There was movement to Tom's side and he shifted his eyes from Dougie to see that Danny was now crouched next to him and Harry. All the while Harry was still groaning with the onslaught of pain caused by the tears forced out of bloodshot eyes and a scalp that was almost rubbed raw, scratched and marked from his own fingertips. Danny inserted his hands beneath his distraught friend and lifted him, carefully, minding the bruises that he knew marred his body, until he was in a kneeling position. Harry was tightly held against his chest like a damsel in distress as Danny took a small breath and pushed himself, exerting himself at the extra weight of his friend. Once on his own two feet again Danny stilled. He wasn't quite sure where he should put his friend. The others in the room seemed to be able to read this, possibly from the clueless look that adorned his face, and Dougie swiftly ran to the sofa, sweeping the various items away that were littered across it. Once done, Danny proceeded to carry Harry over it to it, setting him down gently.

Once Harry was on the sofa he tried to curl in on himself but Dougie got in his way. Carefully and slowly, he manipulated Harry's arms so that they were wrapped around his tummy and then eased his head up. This led Harry to move into a stooped sitting position where he was tightly and securely embraced by Dougie.

Everybody else in the room, including Harry's brother and sister who had entered at some point during Harry's hysterical sobbing, had watched this beautiful display of affection by Danny and Dougie and the room was filled with the sounds of stifling tears. For the next few moments there was peace in that room, it was no surprise, however, that the quiet abyss was soon broken…

**Hope this add was okay! Started it a few hours ago and ended up helping a friend with a uni assignment so it's now 04:18 and I shall make my way to bed for a few hours **** As always I don't know where this story is headed but I did mean for this add to be longer so maybe another update today if I have time **


	11. Chapter 11

**A nice long chapter awaits if you scroll down. Thank you all so so so much for always coming back to read this story. It means the absolute world to me. **

Harry felt aware of the eyes that were watching him intensely. He balled his fists into the tee-shirt of whoever was holding him and he began to rock. Animalistic groans emanating from his mouth. He wailed for the fact that he was like this: reduced to a weakling in front of his family and friends.

"Please. Please can I just be alone?" He whimpered, unable to look at anybody for fear of embarrassing himself anymore, he shook as sobs continued to wrack his body.

"Shhhh, Haz, it's okay. You're not alone, you shouldn't be, let us stay." Dougie whispered into his best friend's ear as he wrapped his arms round him more firmly.

"Baby boy, I don't want to leave you but I understand you're tired. We'll go to the hotel and pop by sometime tomorrow." His mum voiced from across the room where she sat, holding back the tears with all of her might, she was tired, exhausted from the overwhelming emotions that had assaulted her since she'd been at the house.

His dad agreed and together they made their way to the door with their two other children. Danny got up and followed them to the door.

"Danny, thank you, we're more grateful than I think you'll ever know, but I'm so glad he hasn't been alone. You've been the best friends to him. You've helped him. I only hope he gets over this. He's my son…" Harry's mum broke up as suddenly the flood gates holding back her tears broke.

"We'll be back tomorrow Danny, I'm sorry we're leaving you but it was a long drive down and I think that Harry is more comfortable with just you boys. Thanks son." Harry's dad clasped the hand of the boy that he had long considered a son and then gently led his wife outside to their parked car.

"Dan, call us if anything happens or you just want a break from him for a bit, thanks mate." Harry's brother Tom shook Danny's hand firmly, holding the grip just for a second longer while he looked into Danny's eyes, a message was passed in that moment and it conveyed Tom's gratitude.

Once they had gone Danny shut the front door. Resting his forehead against it, just for a few seconds, he could still hear sobbing coming from the living room and so made his way back there.

When he walked into the room he found Tom and Dougie both sat with Harry: comforting him. He made his way over and slotted in beside Tom. Together the four best friends all shed some tears that night.

After about half an hour Harry's sobbing subsided until he was just hiccupping and occasionally sobbing. Tom, Dougie and Danny each chose this moment to look at each other for the first time.

Nobody knew what to say. No words could make this any better. No words could erase the evil that had been done to Harry.

"Harry, would you like to watch a film with us? Like a comedy or something? Just see if it helps take your mind off it all for a few minutes." Dougie said gently to his friend who was still embraced tightly within his arms.

The three waited with baited breath for a response and no verbal one came. The only acknowledgement they got to say that Harry had indeed heard them was a slight nod of the head. Without further ado Tom jumped up and put on Toy Story 1. It was the first DVD he came across and he knew that Harry secretly enjoyed it, although he did moan when Tom usually put it on.

"Harry please talk to us?" Tom whispered while the DVD was loading.

Harry sniffed again, rubbing his sore eyes with the back of his sleeve. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired. But I know that's no excuse. I'm just not good company. I'm bad. I don't know why any of you like me. You don't have to force yourselves anymore though." Harry mumbled, stunning the other occupants in the room, then, with strength that nobody knew he had, Harry heaved himself off the sofa and stumbled to the kitchen.

The other boys sat and watched until the quickly realised what was happening and followed their friend.

What they saw when they entered the kitchen astonished them.

Harry was stood, stooped at the waist with a kitchen knife in his right hand. The hand was poised over the wrist of his other arm. Danny, who was last through the door, bumped into Tom, who had frozen at the sight.

Each boy was caught in a time lock. No one moved and not a sound could be heard apart from their breathing. Just as Harry started to move his right hand Dougie sprinted over to him, deliberately barging him into the counter behind him. There, he held Harry, as tightly as he possibly could. But Harry was still clutching the knife. For a few minute seconds they wrestled for dominance of the knife. During this Harry swiped the knife blade into his hand, cutting it slightly so it bled, he stopped. Absorbed by the sight of the red liquid oozing from the wound and running its way in rivulets across his palm Danny and Tom had awoken from their daze and between them managed to get the knife off Harry before anyone else got hurt. Dougie continued to hold his fighting friend.

Danny took the knife and put it on the furthest counter. Then he turned back around.

"Right, let's watch this movie. Come on Tom, Dougie, let's take Harry through."

Each of them took a hold of Harry and dragged his unwilling body through to the living room.

When they got there, Danny took a firm hold of Harry and pushed him down on to the sofa. Then he sat next to him and said very quietly and menacingly, "Try that again Judd and I will tie you down so you have no choice but to sit still." After that, there was silence in the room, Tom sat on the sofa next to Harry and Dougie went to close the kitchen door, which had a small bolt on it which he pushed home, knowing that Harry could re-open it but it would take a minute, in which time they would be able to stop him. Smiling softly to himself he too wandered over to the sofa.

About 20 minutes into the film, Danny looked over to Tom, together they shared a moment of concerned looks, and Tom reached over to pause the DVD.

Harry was sat, eyes slightly watering, breath quivering still from the exertion of the day, his hands slowly kneading his jogger bottoms.

"Harry, what the fuck was all that about mate?" Danny asked angrily. He had been trying to hold it in, reason with himself that Harry didn't know what he was doing anymore, but then it dawned on him that Harry was sober. No drugs or alcohol were influencing his mind.

Harry knew the questions were coming. But he tried to sit there, drown out the real voices as well as the ones in his head. The ones that, for the entire film so far, had been telling him _"Silly ickle Judd baby. Can't even win a battle for a knife. You should have cut further. You know you deserve it. You know that you will do it again and nobody will be able to stop you. You're going to get that knife and slice it down your arm, not stopping when the blood flows out, not stopping when your arm goes cold. You will cut again Harry. And it will be the best relief you ever had. But we won't let you think past that. We won't let you think of the consequences. Because you deserve the pain, the misery, the death."_

"Harry, answer the question dammit!" Danny was loosing the battle now. He wanted answers from his friend and he was determined to get them now.

"Dan, lay off him a bit yeah?" Tom tried to control the situation he could see forming. Dougie's eyes were watering and Danny was fuming by the look upon his face. Tom knew that Dougie was angry at their friend, as much as he was but they had to realise that shouting wasn't going to solve anything.

Tom took a tight, firm grip of Harry's left arm, the one with the cut in it. He hadn't yet managed to assess the damage and winced when he was that the cut was fairly deep.

"Harry, this must hurt. I'm going to go and get some things and then we're going to clean it and wrap it and you're going to let us." Tom told Harry softly.

As Tom moved off the couch to get the first aid kit, Dougie fell into his place and gently took Harry's arm yet again. As he looked at the self-inflicted wound he gently asked his friend, "Why would you do that Harry? Please talk to us. We just want to help you."

At this Harry sharply turned his head to face his youngest friend, "You know fuck all about helping me you little shit. If you wanted to help me you would have let me do it. Slice my whole fucking arm off if I wanted to. So no, I don't want your "help" anymore; in fact I want you all to get the hell away from me!" Harry was breathing heavily now, his chest rising with the exertion of having said so much after barely speaking for so long. He ripped his arm away from Dougie's gentle grip and winced when he pulled on the cut slightly. He stood up, swaying at the sudden feeling that assaulted his head. He went to stumble forwards, away from the sofa, but he lost his balance and fell to the floor, hitting his head off the cabinet to the side of him when he fell.

Danny, who could hardly believe the way his friend was acting swiftly moved towards him to try and stop him from falling. He'd noticed that Harry looked unsteady when he first stood up and cursed himself for not being quicker.

Tom, who had been in the kitchen when it all happened, darted back into the room. Dougie was sat crying on the sofa, looking down at their pitiful friend. Danny was crouched over Harry, who was lying on his belly on the floor. Tom couldn't tell if Harry was awake or had knocked himself out.

"Shit. Harry, Harry look at me now. Come on dude; just let me know you're awake. Come on mate." Danny swore, he was scared to move his friend as he knew it could be bad if they had a head injury.

When no response came, he took a deep breath and rolled Harry over, to his side. Then he took in the full extent of the injury. Blood was oozing from the fresh wound on his head.

Next thing he knew was that he had been knocked to the floor. Dazed, he looked up, wondering what the hell had happened and then he saw it.

A little ball of Dougie had propelled into him, pushing him away from Harry, now he was straddling his friend. His two little hands balled into tight fists that were hitting the drummers toned chest and he was weeping heavily.

Tom ran over and pulled the sobbing bassist off of Harry: who was just lying there, looking up at them all.

Danny shook his head. Wondering when it had come to this. Without further ado he moved closer to Harry once more and asked Tom to pass him the first aid kit.

Tom did so and then, while Danny started to patch Harry up, dragged Dougie from the room. They went to the kitchen and Tom carefully pushed his friend onto a chair and then knelt down in front of him.

"Doug, come on, Harry didn't mean that. He's just scared. Half the things he's been saying don't even make sense. We have to get him through this and I know, I know it's hard and scary…" Tom wiped at the tears he had flowing down his pale cheeks and then reached up to the young bassist's cheeks and thumbed his tears away too.

"Tom, I know. I just was so angry. I want the old Harry back. I wish this hasn't happened." Together the two friends broke down. Each crying as quietly as they could together for the way that life had turned out. For their friend who was so damaged and broken and for themselves who were so scared and fearful for what the future held.

After a few minutes they both quietened down and wiped away their tears.

"Ready?" Whispered Tom gently and when he got a slight nod, took hold of Dougie's forearm and pulled him to his feet.

They made their way back to the living room. Danny was still knelt on the floor, applying antiseptic and bandages to Harry's two wounds.

"How's it looking Dan?" Tom asked his friend.

Tom then took some more antiseptic and started cleaning the fresh wound on his head.

All the time Dougie simply stood and watched. He saw that Harry started blinking furiously and then tears started leaking from his eyes. Harry began shaking his head, in an attempt to hold back them back. But Dougie wasn't going to have that. So he quickly walked over and knelt next to Harry's face. He then put a hand on either side of the drummer's face and leaned in. So close that Harry had little choice but to look at him.

Furiously, he told his friend, "You are going to let us clean you up. Then you're going to sit with us. From now on you won't go a second without one of us watching you. We are going to follow you everywhere. You are my friend. I don't hate you Harry. Even after what you called me. I know you're having a shit time, but we don't want you doing this to yourself. Now, Danny, Tom, if you're finished, can we move him?" He asked looking up at their other friends. They both nodded and each took a hold of Harry. Pulling him to his feet and carrying him to the sofa. Once they had sat him down Tom knelt in front of Harry and took a hold of his jaw in his right hand.

"Harry you feeling okay? Don't want to be sick? If you do, that's okay, just tell us and we'll get you a drink and bucket and stuff?" Tom asked his friend, knowing that sometimes head wounds could make people nauseous.

After no response, Tom sighed and stood up, his back giving a small click. He went to the kitchen anyway, getting a tray and loading it with four drinks, some food and in his other hand he got hold of the bin which he quickly emptied.

He went back through to the living room and found Danny curled up beside Harry, keeping a tight grip on his forearm. He looked for Dougie, noticing that he was sat on the other side of the room.

Meanwhile the voices in Harry's head were going crazy. _See, they all think you're a loony now. Hahaha Tom's even brought you a bin so you really are in the loony bin. Heheh and Dougie, well Dougie hates you. See, he can't stand to be on the same sofa as you anymore. We're surprised he still wants to actually look at you. You're disgusting to look at. _

Tom sat down next to Harry, perched on the side of the sofa. Dougie, too, sensing that both Danny and Tom were looking right at him, also got up and moved closer. He then sat beside Tom and hugged him close.

Danny moved his hand in soft circles on the drummer's back, hoping to calm him down and keep him grounded.

Just as they were about to put the film back on, not that anybody would watch it, it was just a way of breaking the never ending silence, the phone rang.

Tom got up and went to answer it.

On the other end of the line he could just hear breathing and he asked "Who is this? Hello?" As he was about to put the phone down, having received no answer, a voice said something to make shivers run down his spine.

"Tell my favourite boy Harry that I'm waiting for him. I know he misses me. You won't be able to protect him forever Tom and when you fail, which believe me, you will. I'll be waiting and I'll take him from you. I've already taken his mind so there's not going to be much work needed. You're losing him Tom; your poor little drummer friend. Enjoy him while you can."

The phone beeped as it was disconnected from the other end and Tom gulped. He could feel eyes boring into the back of his head and knew that Danny and Dougie were sending questioning looks his way. He didn't have a clue how he was going to tell them what had just happened. But he knew that he didn't want to do it in front of Harry but now he knew he couldn't leave Harry alone for even a second.

"Wrong number" was the only explanation he gave and he knew, by the looks on their faces that neither of the boys believed him. But he sighed and moved back to the sofa. He put the film back on to play and for the next hour or so the four friends sat, their bodies entwined with one another, not a word was said and no more tears fell.

**YAY! I really liked writing this chapter. I'm making it up as I go along, without drafts or anything, so I have no idea which way this story is going to go but I think I have a few different ways that are quite good. It may end up having a sequel and even a prequel. But I don't know. I honestly love this story and am more obsessed with McFly now that I think I have ever been. Managed to get tickets to see them on tour! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY *jumps round room squealing* but I got them through somebody else and I'm worried they're not going to be good seats. But then again at least I'm going so that alone makes my day! :') Bring on the 27****th**** March! Whoooo! Anyways, before I get too overexcited thankyou as always for reading and definitely check out blackstar2177's stories…so so good! **** xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi I just want to say how sorry I am for having not updated in so long! Well it feels like a long long long time. I hope this chapter makes up for it! (: Also I know Tom is obsessed with PB smoothies in real life so I've mentioned it **

The end credits rolled up the screen and music filled the air. Danny lifted his arm from where it lay on Harry's shoulder to stretch it out, listening to the small crack that was emitted. He yawned slightly as he turned his head to look at the other occupants of the room. Tom was sat, leaning back on the couch, and had a small faint trace of a smile painted on his face; the movie always seemed to relax him for the short time it was on. Dougie, meanwhile, had his body leant at a fairly awkward angle so that he was firmly sat on the sofa but his top half was rested on Harry's. Together the two boys had fallen asleep and were resting their heads on each others. Danny carefully nudged his hand onto Tom's shoulder. Tom shuddered from the sudden movement and woke from his daydream. He looked at Danny with a questioning glance.

"Wanna drink Tom?" Danny asked while moving his eyebrows; trying to show Tom that he wanted to talk to him alone.

"Yeah I could do with a peanut butter smoothie!" He grinned softly and carefully removed himself from the comfy sofa and followed Danny who quietly slid the bolt that Dougie had put in place and the pair moved into the kitchen. As soon as they were alone Danny closed the door until there was only a small gap; just enough to hear if either of the boys woke up.

"What was that phone call all about before? I know it wasn't the wrong number" Danny whispered.

Tom sighed as he started to make his smoothie. He didn't quite know where to begin. He hadn't stopped thinking about it throughout the entire film. He had been so unnerved to hear the voice, the tone, the way that it referred to Harry as someone's "favourite boy."

Danny moved towards Tom; trying to show him that he wasn't messing around or just enquiring for the sake of it. He was concerned about Harry and knew that the phone call had something, or rather, everything to do with the drummer.

Tom stood, leaning his elbow on the counter as he recounted the short yet startling message from earlier.

"Well, you're right, it wasn't a wrong number. It was a man. At first all he was doing was breathing but then he started going on about some shit that Harry was his boy. And that he was waiting for him and for us to fail in looking after him. He threatened him Dan. Fuck." Tom pulled at his hair, starting to get really worked up, he angrily paced the kitchen tiles.

Danny watched his friend start to lose control. It was two too many now. Without any further thought Danny made the few steps towards his friend and embraced him strongly with both arms. There, he held him tightly until he felt Tom's body relax slightly. "Go on" He murmured still holding his friend. Tom recounted the phone call as best he could remember. Once he finished he heaved his body upwards and pulled away from Danny. He then looked at Danny waiting for his response. Danny was stood, he didn't know how to take what he had just heard, his body shook slightly, worried even more for the safety and wellbeing of his friend.

"We need to tell Dougie. He deserves to know, we can't keep it from him but we shouldn't tell Harry. Not yet anyway. Fuck though, Doug's not gonna take it well. Shit. I'm not taking it well." Danny's voice lowered and quietened, his face paled dramatically and he pretty much stumbled and fell into the nearest seat.

Tom saw his friend fall and darted over as he thought he would crumple to the floor. Once he saw that Danny was seated safely he put the kettle on and made them a cup of tea each. He also decided to make one for Dougie and Harry. Once that was done he moved over to Danny and knelt down in front of him. He reached out his right arm and lifted his chin so that they were looking into each other's eyes.

"We can get him through this Dan. We can. We have to." Tom leaned in holding their heads together briefly.

"It's not that that I'm thinking of though Tom. All I can think of is what the fuck he meant about Harry missing him. About him being his favourite. Does he know Harry?" Danny whispered shaking his hair for a few seconds as if trying to clear his thoughts.

A cough was heard from the doorway and shook Tom and Danny from their thoughts.

Slowly they turned around and saw…

**Sorry for this not being longer. I just kinda wanted to get something written up for you all as I do feel bad for my lack of updates recently! There won't be an update tomorrow but hopefully on Thursday I'll be able to get a few good chapters up. I am thinking of ending this story soon and starting a sequel… I love this plotline though and could literally write about it forever, but I know it would get boring and I don't want yous to get bored! Please let me know what you think, it really does make my life! x**


	13. Chapter 13

**First of all I am so sorry… I was really intending to update yesterday but my mum and gran came up to visit me for the day at uni and I ended up getting back really late. I am going to put two chapters up tonight to make up for it and I haven't many plans this weekend so I should be able to get some more up then *fingers crossed* Anyways. I'm very sorry and I hope you still enjoy this story, thank you so much for the reviews as always, I love them **** The smile plastered on my face when I get that sweet notification is so big **** So enjoy please and if you have a minute to spare please tell me what you think…Also the offer is still there…if you want anything in particular to happen in the story tell me and I will try my best to fit it in…After all I would like to make this story more what you want to read if you get me? **** Anywaysss I'm really babbling now so on with the story… **

Harry. Harry Judd stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Standing with a bit of a tilt, his right arm wrapped snug around his tummy. His stance accentuated the tiredness that he felt, his top was wrinkled and creased and his whole face appeared gaunt and pale. He was looking at Danny and Tom with a sad distant expression and neither of them knew what to do.

Silence rained down on the room as the three occupants all looked from one to another.

Danny wiped away the few tears that leaked from his eyes and he sniffed, lifted his head and looked more closely at Harry.

Tom watched Harry for a few intense seconds; he wasn't quite sure how much Harry had heard because he had been so silent in entering the room. But when he noticed that Harry had started to sway from the over exertion of holding his weak self up he launched himself over to his friend and wrapped both his strong arms around his frail body. Then, after checking that Harry was seemingly stable on his own to feet, he pulled him towards the kitchen table where Danny was sat. Danny quickly pulled out a seat ready for Harry and he and Tom worked together in pushing Harry into the wooden chair.

Then once he was sat Tom went to get the tea he had just made for them all and Danny took a gentle hold of Harry's hand. He re-examined the self-inflicted wound on it and inside he shook at the thought of what was going on with his friend. He rubbed his thumb along the back of Harry's knuckles, trying to caress away the pain he knew was there. The hand he held shivered slightly at the contact and Harry whimpered softly, closing his eyes and looking away. Danny noticed and quickly he used his spare hand to bring Harry's face back round. Their eyes meeting Danny whispered gruffly, "It's alright Harry, we're here to stay, not going anywhere and neither are you. Okay buddy? It's all good." He tried his best to make his voice soothing and calm – the complete opposite of what they all felt in that moment.

The noise of the cups clanging off the table where Tom had set them down as gently as he could shook them from their quiet moment. Harry awoke with a jarring movement that took his right leg into a collision with the table leg and he gritted his teeth at the new onslaught of pain that wracked his frail frame. Danny bit his lip. He didn't know how long they could keep going like this.

Tom raised him from his reverie when he asked, "Are you hungry Harry? Or did you have a nightmare? It's just I thought you'd be sleeping for a bit longer."

Harry stared at them with empty eyes. The voices in his head were a simple constant whisper now. He couldn't evade them. Not in reality and not in sleep.

They just murmured words and he only managed to actually pick out the odd one or two that were comprehensible. Words like _"scum" "waster" "worthless" "cheap" "deserved" "whore."_ He wanted them to stop. He wanted them to go away. He knew why there were there. It was always a reminder. He could feel the imprint of the body that had scarred him. It was engrained on the back of his brain for him to always be aware of. He just wanted it to stop.

Danny watched as an explosion of emotions shot through Harry's face until, all of a sudden, he broke down, collapsing in on himself. Danny shot forwards and held him. Held him so tight that he thought he would hurt his skinny friend. He started crying too, unable to hold back the tears and said anything he could to try and calm the pair of them down. Things like "I know I know. We're gonna be okay. You're gonna get through this and we're going to be with you every step of the way. I promise you that Haz. Always. We're always going to be here with you. And it hurts. I'm sure it hurts more than we could ever imagine. But tell us. Tell us what you're feeling. Because we want to know, we want to share it with you. Come on, the Harry I know is gonna fight back, he's gonna kick the shit out of this evil and me Tom and Dougs are going to hold him while you tear him the fuck down. But you have to help us so we can help you."

Tom just stood, so deeply absorbed by the shock of seeing the bands two strongest, his two best friends crumple at the pain of the evil in the world around him, that he didn't even notice Dougie slip into the room and take a soft hold of his hand. His body complied as it was dragged, by that same small hand over to their best friends. Together the four cried and kept crying; cried until their eyes were dry. Empty of the salty tears they so badly wanted to keep shedding. The friends, the band of brothers sat in a heap of warm limbs and tear drenched t-shirts until their bodies no longer heaved with sobs until they could no longer summon such emotion to express their pains. Time continued to flutter by but none of the four were aware. None of them cared what the next moment held, for the only sure thing they knew was how they felt about one another and, in that same moment, it was made a sure thing that the love they felt for one another would never die. Each one accepted that the others were there to stay and so, a peace descended on the four, each one accepting that the road ahead would be long and littered with pain, but they would always have each other.

**Soundtrack when I was writing: Pink- Pretty Please and Jessie J- Price tag. Olly Murs- Heart on my sleeve and Adele- Someone like you… Gosh the chart is a cheery thing at the minute…**

**End of the first upload…gonna write more tonight but laptop's about to die **** I LOVED writing this chapter and although it was sad and I was listening to really sad songs I kinda wanted to convey the beauty of the situation they're in…Hope you all enjoyed… xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here it is as promised! (: I do try my best to keep my promises….I'm still so sorry about not keeping it on Thursdayyyy :/ Hope the last chapter was okay! This is more talky between them (: Sorry as it's technically the next day now…it's just as I'm sure most of you know McFly were on the lottery and so I watched that and didn't manage to finish my chapter before midnight. Basically I'd make a rubbish Cinderella…**

Things calmed down in the kitchen after the tears had been released. Tom and Dougie had immersed themselves into the bodies of the other two and the four of them were attached in some mixture of limbs. Danny, Dougie and Tom sniffed and wiped away the remains of their tears. Then the three of them fixed their eyes on the fourth member of the group and saw that he sat with his head bowed. His eyes fluttering open every few moments, as if he was battling with sleep, his lips parted slightly. Soft but heavy breaths escaped from his mouth as they watched, each fixated by the sight of their broken friend, each one seemingly waiting for the other to do something.

In the end Dougie just clambered up on to Harry's lap and hugged him firmly. Pressing a little friendly kiss onto Harry's cheek he wiped away the tear tracks that ran in criss-cross patterns along his stubbly face.

Harry didn't budge at the movement. To Danny's eyes he looked like a living corpse. That was the only way he could describe his friend right now as he sat before him.

Tom heaved himself up and looked down at his three friends.

"Listen. I'm gonna put some food on, vegetables, meat, the works. We all need a really healthy filling meal. And we are each going to clean our plates." Tom said firmly holding his gaze on each person individually.

Just as Tom was about to get started on cooking when the phone rang, Danny stood up and ran to answer it in the living room.

That left Dougie and Harry at the kitchen table, where the pair of them sat, not a word was exchanged between the pair of them. Instead, Dougie pulled Harry's head into his chest and rubbed his hair soothingly while making hushing noises.

Tom watched the pair whilst he prepared the meal. When, he noticed that Danny had yet to return, he slipped out the room unnoticed.

He was shocked, when he entered the living room to see Danny sat on the sofa. His face was as white as a sheet.

"Dan, what's up, what's happened?" Tom sat down beside him, clasping his hand tightly, trying to shock him back to life.

"Tom, Tom it's Harry's mum. She's in hospital. They don't know what's happening. She's bad. It's bad. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Tom what do we do? His dad doesn't want him to know yet but what if it's that bad. He needs to know but his dad said not to. Shit Tom." Danny whispered, furious as more tears started leaking from his eyes.

Tom gulped. He gulped again. Then he couldn't physically swallow anymore. A lump had formed in his throat. He couldn't quite process what he'd just been told.

"Dan how long ago did she go in? I mean, surely he wouldn't have called on the way in." Tom asked, trying to keep calm, but it was so hard.

Danny wasn't able to form any sound. He couldn't think straight. All he knew was that life kept on dealing shit out to his best friend. He just sat like a stone statue. Tom was worried. Worried for everyone right now and he actually shook his friend. Trying to wake him up and make him speak sense.

Tom sighed, walked over to the phone and rang back Harry's dad. From there he went on to speak in a hushed tone. He got all of the details, bid a quiet goodbye to Harry's father and put the phone down. From there he stood, just aimlessly, looking out at the beautiful world that lay on the other side of the door. The world in which normal people were going about their daily lives, worrying about doing their homework or what to have for tea and he was stood here with what seemed like the weight of the world on his shoulders.

After a few quiet minutes of thought he breathed in deeply and psyched himself up; readying himself up for whatever was going to come next.

He turned round and saw that Danny was still sat on the sofa staring into space. He walked over to him and wrapped his arms in a firm hold around Danny and rocked them both slowly. While he did this he quietly told Danny all of what had just been said in the phone call. He'd found that his mum had been admitted to hospital earlier in the day when she had taken a fall on the stairs. It seemed that she had passed out from sheer exhaustion and that her cancer possibly may have worsened.

The two sat for a while just hugging each other, both bodies sagging from stress and fear.

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity they both stood up and moved into the kitchen. When they got there they couldn't help but looking fondly at their two best friends who were cuddled together on the hard wooden seat. Dougie was still awake and rubbing his hand through Harry's hair soothingly and humming some McFly songs. Harry, meanwhile, looked peacefully asleep for once. His face looked more relaxed than they had seen it in a long time and his features seemed a lot less worn. Dougie heard them enter the room and he looked up warningly; making sure they stayed quiet so as they wouldn't wake Harry up.

"What's going on guys?" He whispered.

"Dan…do you reckon you could take Harry to bed? Just while I fill Dougs in?" Tom asked.

"Yeah sure. You alright with that Doug?" Dan asked as he made his way over to where the pair were sat.

Dougie nodded and lifted himself off of Harry trying his best not to wake him up.

Harry shuffled a bit in his sleep and for a second or two all movement in the room stopped as the three occupants that were awake watched their friend with eagle eyes, hoping against hope that he wouldn't wake up.

Danny, after he realised that his friend was still fast asleep, made his way over to him and assessed the way he was positioned. He wanted to pick him up and minimise wriggling him around too much so as he would stay sleeping.

He decided to lift him up almost bridal style and proceeded to carry him through to the living room. He was astounded at just how light Harry really was. He seemed like just pure skin and bones. It worried Danny even more and he mentally told himself to make sure that Harry started having at least one full meal a day as he couldn't actually recall the last time that he saw Harry eat anything.

Danny managed to carry Harry all the way up to his bedroom without putting him down: he was that light. Once there he laid him down and pulled the covers out from underneath him. Then he continued on to strip him of his top and jogger bottoms. Then he got out some of Harry's fresh pyjama bottoms and a clean top which he then dressed him in. Satisfied that he had done all he could he wrapped the duvet tightly around his friends body.

Once that was done he got a good idea; he went to his own room and found some wipes that Emma left there. Emma and the girls were all staying at their house which was about a 30minute drive away from the boys. They had decided to give the boys some space. Elle was finding it hard to keep away but she had come round a few days before and it had almost destroyed her to witness, first hand, the state her boyfriend was in.

Danny took the face wipes back to where he had left Harry and started to clean his face with them. Wiping away the marks left from the tears. It wasn't as good as actually washing his face but it was something and he just hoped that he was refreshing his friend a bit.

After he had finished, Danny was reluctant to leave his friend alone and so he crawled into bed next to Harry. Snuggling his body close to Harry's as he felt that he was too cold. Little shivers seemed to be trickling their way through his body. There Danny lay and calmly stroked Harry's toned arm and like Dougie before him, he murmured the lyrics to a few of their McFly songs.

About an hour later Danny had too succumbed to sleep. Tom and Dougie had crept their way up the stairs and both smiled when they saw their friends. Dougie quickly whipped out his phone and proceeded to take a few pictures of them all cutely wrapped up in a big, white, fluffy duvet.

"Tom, what do you think? Could we fit in there you reckon?" Dougie whispered, a faint grin traced on his face, as he looked at Tom.

After a little bit of manoeuvring and manipulation of their friends Tom and Dougie did indeed squeeze into the king-sized bed and, having brought another duvet in, they closed their eyes and joined their friends in what they could only hope would be a peaceful night's sleep.

**Hope yous enjoyed as always! **** More added today or tomorrow! Love you all for reading (: xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**Well, here it is! **** Needed a bit of inspiration for this chapter! **** But I found it and hope it's turned out okay? Thank you so so so so SO much for the loveliest of reviews! Honestly have made me so much more confident in my writing! And so this chapter, like all those before it, is dedicated to every single one of you lovely people who took the time to click that amazing little button and then write the kindest of words. So thank you **

The boys slept for a good few hours until Dougie started shuffling around in his sleep. He ended up kicking Tom in the shin who then woke up with a groan. He was shocked at first; having forgotten what had happened and the fact that he had gone to sleep in Harry's bed. He yawned and stretched a little, sniggering slightly as his leg inadvertently knocked into Dougie's. Dougie looked at him, from where he lay next to him and gave him a small, evil Dougie glare. This led to Tom giggling. It wasn't that it was anything particularly funny; it just seemed that it had been too long since he'd smiled with meaning and that accentuated the humour of the situation. Dougie soon joined in until the two friends had tears in their eyes. Tom's jaw even started to hurt from laughing so much. The pair knew that they had to be quiet to save waking up the other two but that made it all even funnier. They were both shocked when they each received a harsh slap round the head off a very scary looking Danny.

"What are you doing, idiots? You're lucky Haz hasn't woken up yet at the rate you two are going!" Danny whispered, glaring at them, even though his eyes said that he was happy to see them laughing.

Tom and Dougie soon sobered up pretty quickly after that and the three all turned their gaze to Harry who was still very much asleep.

"He actually looks peaceful when he's sleeping doesn't he?" Tom voiced calmly.

Dougie moved his body closer to that of Harry's and squished up next to him and gave him a warm hug. He continued to hold his friend in this way and soothingly rubbed his arm along the arm of his friend, stopping when he came to the wound from the previous day.

Tom and Danny who were watching this display of affection from the band's youngest member leaned in so as to get a closer look at the wound.

"Looks a bit better I guess." Danny said in a hushed tone. There was something serious about his voice that seemed so normal these days, a tension; a stress, it was a far cry from the old version of Danny. He, like the other two, had really grown in maturity from the situation. Not that they weren't mature before, it was just that they had to be there for Harry so much now and the repercussions of the whole situation were so dire. The fact that the wound they were all looking at now was self-inflicted had really sent a message home to them all. They each wanted to just wrap their friend in a comfort blanket and never ever let him be exposed to the harsh realities of the real world that lay on the other side of their front door.

Tom smiled a little bit, he was so proud of the band, immensely proud. He couldn't even begin to describe how happy he was with the way that the whole thing was being handled by them all. He just wished it would end now. Like some test off God, they'd been tested and they'd dealt with it. Now it was time to move on. Forget it ever happened. Infact no, not forget it ever happened, just go back to life before it happened and change the fact that it did. He wished with all of his heart that he could change things. Turn Harry's life and all of their own back to the ones they used to be. Deep down, however, he knew that this was just a dream. A dream that was too good and too perfect to ever be allowed in reality. This all dawned on Tom and he sighed, refocusing his attention on the other occupants of the bed.

Harry's stomach chose that moment to start voicing its desire for hunger and the three boys all looked at him with sad expressions.

"He's wasting away. I didn't think I'd be able to carry him all the way here but it was easy; too easy. He's just so fucking skinny now. It's horrible. When I was holding him I could feel his spine and stuff. And when I changed him into those new clothes I could literally see all his ribs." Danny said cautiously. He knew they had to tackle his friend's weight but he wasn't sure how they'd go about it; they couldn't exactly force him to eat.

Tom nodded, "I know what you mean. I mean, look at his face, you can tell he's lost weight just from there. It's horrible. I was gonna put some food on before but he fell asleep. All we can do is try and get him to eat something when he wakes up I suppose."

All the time that the three friends discussed Harry's gaunt appearance he was dreaming of a good time for once. He was having a dream where it was a mixture of some of their best gigs, the time when he'd sung Hero and so many people had cheered and whistled. He dreamt about the times he had done signings and met so many inspirational people, namely fans who had encouraged him and the band to continue with McFly. But then the dream changed. It became a nightmare. He was now remembering the time that he first saw his future rapist; the man that would continue to sexually abuse him whenever he pleased. The man that blackmailed Harry and took away his self-esteem as a result of what he was doing. The evil man that took satisfaction from ripping the soul from another.

Once this nightmare began Harry started squirming; startling the other boys. He was dreaming about when the man had first cornered him. Telling him about how there had been an accident on the motorway a few days ago, and that his daughter, who had tickets to the gig that they were playing that night, had been one of the casualties. Harry remembered the sheer horror that he felt when he first learnt that a young girl had lost her life on the way to see them in concert. The man went on to explain that she had been to every single concert that they'd done and every single time he had gone with her, held her hand when she shook with excitement. He told Harry that he was always there for her. He was always asking her why she liked McFly so much and that every single time he asked she always replied with "Harry."

He told Harry that he was the reason why his daughter loved McFly. Harry was the reason she had been in that car that day. She'd always stood in the audience, lost in the sea of people, always just a person in the crowd. Yet every time her banner got bigger. She always just wanted to stand out so that Harry would acknowledge her. The man went on to tell Harry that he had never noticed. All those times when he read out the banners he never read hers. Every time she went home despondent until, only a few days later, she would embark upon making another banner. She had been determined for him to see her and Harry never did. It was at the end of the story, that her dad clasped a firm grip on Harry's shoulder, leaned in and gruffly whispered in Harry's ear "you took my daughter away from me. You're the reason that she's dead and you'd do well to remember that. In fact I think that you should try and make it up to her. She grew up wanting you: wanting to be with you in the closest possible way. You know what that it don't you?"

The younger version of Harry had nodded and gulped, then, followed the man into the toilets. He didn't know what he was doing. He was too shaken by the story to even contemplate his actions.

As the nightmare of recalling reality progressed the other three boys watched unsure of what to do.

"Should we wake him up? Some nightmare he's having." Danny asked, concerned and watching his friend battle with invisible demons in his subconscious.

The other two nodded, noticing that their friend was becoming more and more agitated as time progressed, and together the three of them started to shake their friend.

In the nightmare, Harry was squirming, he'd made a mistake; he didn't want this. Tears escaped his eyes as the man behind him pressed into him. Harder and harder. The pain was unreal. Harry had never felt anything like it before. He whimpered as the man kept going, persistent as to his aim, never once acknowledging the body below him wasn't complying.

Harry squirmed as best he could until he was viciously hit in the face. The man took a strong firm grip of his hair and lifted his head up to meet his own. There, he held it, leaving Harry with no choice but to meet his attacker's eyes.

"You deserve this you whore. My daughter loved you. You didn't even notice her existence. You met her so many times, were in the same room as her so many fucking times and she knew all she could about you; where you're from, your family, your girlfriend, and your band mates. She idolised you. Now, I bet you're feeling pretty guilty and you should. You little bastard. But know this, I will make you pay for the torment you caused my courageous little angel and if you want me to stay away from the ones you love then you won't say no. Got it?" The man threatened Harry and Harry whimpered and nodded, tears cascading down his cheeks. Even after Harry had agreed the man held him there, just for a minute longer, before continuing what he was doing. This time Harry didn't fight. He submitted himself to the onslaught of pain that the man was causing. The man who claimed to be a father who loved his child more than anything else in the world and it was that horror that partly froze Harry's fight. He didn't understand how in that moment a father was raping another man's child for the penance of his own.

All the time Harry was having this nightmare the other boys were becoming increasingly concerned. They couldn't wake him up. They had been shaking him, shouting and yet, Harry continued to writhe in his sleep and plead for an unknown (to them) force to stop. By this time Tom and Danny had both got out of bed and were pacing the floor, wringing their hair with frustration, trying to think of ways to stop their friend's nightmare.

Then Dougie felt it; the warm wetness that seeped into the cover around him. He knew straight away what it was but he couldn't quite believe it. Harry's movements started to slow after that but he remained lightly dozing.

"Err guys…Harry's erm…Harry's…" Dougie struggled to find the words. He didn't want to make it seem like his friend was weak or incapable.

Tom and Danny's movements stopped as they looked, in question at their friend, waiting for him to continue.

"Harry's done what Doug?" Danny asked when no further explanation was given.

"He's erm…" Dougie couldn't do it but it didn't seem he'd have to as Tom had clocked on.

"Oh…" Tom also didn't really know what to say and instead just suggested to Dougie that he get out of the bed.

Then he lifted up the duvet and revealed to Danny what had happened.

Just as Danny was about to say something Harry started to show signs of waking up. It seemed that as soon as he moved his leg into the wet patch he woke up: opening his eyes to find that his best friends had seen exactly what he'd done. Then, his sleep filled eyes landed on Dougie and saw that his leg was also wet. This made him whimper with embarrassment.

None of the occupants really moved for the next few moments until Dougie said, "Hey, Harry, it's okay. It's fine. Honestly. I was well overdue a wash anyways…you know me, never one to be a frequent washer." Dougie did his best to make his voice soothing, he even moved closer to the bed, closer to Harry.

This made Harry whimper again. "Don't. Don't come near me. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry Dougie. Tom, Danny, I'll clean it up. I promise. I promise. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Please. Please."

Tears formed in Tom's eyes when he saw what his friend was reduced to. He was completely shocked when Harry started hitting himself. His head, his legs, scratching his arms with his fingers to inflict pain. You see, all the time that Harry had been awake, the voices in his head had been jabbering at a mile a minute; shouting, chanting, words like _"Filth. Freak. Pathetic. Little baby Judd wet the bed. Should have been dressed in a nappy as well as pyjamas. Incapable loser." _

Danny tore over to Harry and wrestled him trying to get a hold of his hands so he could stop the torment. He fell into the wet patch on the bed but he didn't pay any attention to it. He finally got a hold of his friend by sitting on his tummy and holding his arms up near the headboard in a firm grip. Then, when he was sure he had a tight grip of him, just sat while Harry heaved his body up trying to escape Danny.

"Harry. Mate. Come on. Stop it. You know you can't do this to yourself. So you wet the bed." At this Harry cried out. His body weakening its fight. He turned his head away from Danny, Tom and Dougie. Instead he squeezed his eyes tight shut in the direction of the wall.

Tom crawled on to the bed and knelt next to Harry's head.

"It's okay Harry. It's okay. Alright? Shhhh. It's all okay. We're here and we're not leaving you. Come on Harry. Please? Please just look at us." Tom asked, whimpering at the sight of his friend, he was so broken and it tore at his heartstrings.

Harry tried to fold his body in on itself more but he couldn't because of the weight on top of him. He didn't want anybody to see him like this. The voices continued on too. _"See Harry. They know you're weak now, you made that quite clear when you had yourself a wee accident." _As soon as the voices cackled the word "wee" there was a cacophony of noise while the invisible demons guffawed to themselves at his expense.

Tom tried to stroke Harry's face in a calming gesture but as soon as he came into contact with Harry he only felt pain in his hand.

Dougie was stood, gaping at the scene playing out in front of him, disbelief all over his friend when he watched Harry actually bite Tom. He bit him. He bit him. The thought kept playing out in his mind over and over again.

Danny, like Dougie, didn't know what was happening. When he saw Harry bite Tom he pushed himself down harder: holding Harry in a much firmer grip. Yet this was too close for comfort for Harry now. It was too much like his nightmare.

So Harry once again started fighting, bucking his hips up in sheer desperation: squirming his hands in the ones that held him tight.

"Dougs, help me hold him mate." Danny asked gruffly, panting slightly from the effort and exertion of trying to contain his friend.

So Dougie scampered on to the bed and sat on Harry's hands: resting his knees on his forearms.

Tom had recovered from the shock of what Harry had done and he moved in to help hold his friend.

After what felt like a long drawn out couple of hours, but was infact a matter of minutes, the fight in Harry died once again, leaving him panting and whimpering with tears exploding from his eyes. For the next few seconds not a word was exchanged between the four friends.

"You calmed down now, yeah, Haz? Ready to talk about this." Danny asked his friend without removing himself from his tummy.

Harry nodded, he almost didn't even acknowledge that he was with his friends; his mind was lost somewhere else; in his memories.

Danny saw this and took his right hand to give a few small taps on Harry's friend. He knew that Harry wasn't really with them at the time; perhaps he hadn't really been aware of what had been going on since he woke up at all.

"Listen Haz. We're not cross with you. You have done nothing wrong. You hear me…Nothing. Okay? We just want to get you cleaned up now alright?" Now me and Dougs will go get you and ourselves cleaned up and Chef Fletcher here will go and put some food one for us. 'Cause he's good like that although it does mean we can't guarantee he won't try to poison us with peanut butter…." Danny trailed off and a little smile emerged on Danny's face and he looked at Tom.

Tom nodded, even though Harry's eyes were still squeezed shut and gently pressed a hand to Harry's cheek.

"Yeah, yeah, I know you all love peanut butter really." Tom gave the other two a small, very strained smile and then exited the room, leaving Dougie and Danny still sat on Harry.

**Well…this was definitely not how I expected this chapter to be…Wow. I did enjoy writing it though. I just hope you enjoyed reading it! **** Please let me know what you think…I tried to show some of the background story…If you hadn't already guessed Harry's been raped more than once… More to come soon! Thank you so much for reading! xx**


	16. Chapter 16

**Heyy **** just want to say the biggest thank you ever to those who reviewed! **** You make me smile so much **** So this chapter is dedicated to blackstar2177, McSteph, and ThisLooksLikeAJobForMe **** You guys review like every chapter and I adore you all for that! So thank you. Now in the last chapter you may have noticed that I put "friend" a few times instead of "face" **** Silly me! But, anyway, you're all clever and I'm guessing you realised but sorry! I should proof-read but to be completely honest I HATE reading my own work…But I will try and be more careful in future! **

**Also, I don't have any idea which way this story is heading in but I think things are going to start getting better for Harry soon, it's just I have to make things worse before they get better…**

**And yaaaaaaaay Dougie's ! **

Harry's eyes were still shut when Tom left and Danny and Dougie were still sat on their friend. Their eyes met and both of them shrugged, helplessly; neither of them knowing what to do.

"Harry can you open your eyes for us please?" Danny asked, averting his eyes from Dougie's and looking at Harry who was sobbing quietly.

"Please, please Harry, open them for Butty and DanDan." Dougie carried on trying to gently persuade his friend.

Harry whimpered at the continued voices, he didn't want to look at them, he just wanted to disappear from view. The embarrassment that assaulted him was unreal. He couldn't quite believe that he'd been reduced to this, he'd wet himself in front of his best friends and was now constantly a blubbering mess.

Danny and Dougie's eyes met once more, each becoming more and more concerned, both desperately trying to think of something they could do to get Harry to at least open his eyes.

"Harry, if you open your eyes, we'll let you get a shower, okay? And we'll let you shut the door and you'll have privacy. Okay? We're not evil and we're sorry if we're coming across as cruel to you but we're just so scared. Come on Harry, please, just look at us and see that we're more than happy to be here with you. Alright. We're not angry at you. We're not disgusted. You're our best friend and we love you. We wouldn't be the people we are now if it wasn't for you and your humour and kindness and wisecracks over the years, well, everything you've done for us over the years. Please. Please just open your eyes and look at us." Danny asked as Harry continued to cry beneath him.

Harry thought about it. He thought that if he could just get through what was bound to be the most embarrassing few minutes of his life then he'd get to the bathroom and be able to lock himself away. Then they wouldn't have to put up with him anymore. He wouldn't be able to disgust them anymore.

So he did it. He opened his eyes. It was a blurry sight that met him straight away until he blinked away a few more tears. Then he saw Danny with a few tear marks on his own cheeks and he looked up and could see Dougie with a little smile of satisfaction on his face.

"Good. Thank you Harry. Okay, we're gonna get off you now and Dougs will grab you some clean clothes and pop them in the bathroom ready for you. Until he's done that, me and you are just gonna sit here, alright? Just sit. We're not going to do anything, you're safe here with us, we'll just wait." Danny explained.

Danny nodded at Dougie and he slowly climbed off of Harry's hands.

Then, when Harry's arms stayed limply where'd they been held, above his head, Danny took once last look at his broken friend, before lifting himself off too.

Then he sat on the edge of the bed and just watched his friend to see what he'd do with his freedom.

Harry simply laid there, in exactly the same way as he had been wrestled and held. His arms splayed out above and his legs twisted slightly. His top had ridden up a bit and exposed his skinny, panting tummy. He knew that he should be concerned, as the sight of the tainted skin would surely offend Danny, who he knew was observing him, yet Harry couldn't find the energy to care.

"Shower or bath Haz?" Danny asked trying to get his friend to give some response.

No answer came from Harry and Danny turned his head, connecting his eyes with Dougie's who had a small bundle of clothes in his hands.

Danny sighed. Harry heard it. The voices in his head went into overdrive. "_See, they're so sick of you. They have to baby you and you're so selfish, so incredibly selfish. If you were a nice person you'd just leave them alone: leave them alone and get away from them all. You don't deserve their help or care or love. You deserve to be raped and hurt because you're just not good enough. Look at yourself, lying in your own urine, making them sit in it too, disgusting creature you are."_

Harry continued to lie there and his body was still limp when Danny sighed yet again and wrapped his arms around him, proceeding to lift him off the bed.

However, as soon as he realised what was happening he started squirming. He didn't want anybody to have to touch him.

"Harry, quit it, if you're not going to walk I'll bloody carry you." Danny said exasperated, he couldn't believe how easy it was to carry his friend who was meant to be muscled and toned, not skin and bone.

So Danny carried Harry all the way to the bathroom, which was just across the landing. Dougie gave a shocked expression when the pair entered the bathroom. Danny took Harry over to the toilet, the lid was down, and placed him, sat, on top of it. Then he held a hand on Harry's shoulder as he wasn't sure how steady he would be.

"Do you want a shower mate?" Danny asked him and was quite pleasantly surprised when Harry gave a small nod.

"Haz, your clothes are just on the heater so they'll be all warm for when you get out. You can't lock the door okay? There's no point; if you do we'll just take it off from the outside and come in. We're not going to barge in anyway just leave the door open just in case please?" Dougie pleaded with his friend. He'd walked over to him and was knelt on the floor in front of Harry; he was startled by the blank expression in his friend's eyes.

Harry nodded with his lips parted slightly. With that Danny and Dougie took one more last look at their friend and started to leave the bathroom.

"One more thing Harry, if you need us just give us a shout, we'll be outside the door and we'll be asking you if you're alright, if you don't answer, we'll come in. Got it?" Danny said in a firm voice that said 'don't mess with me.'

The pair left the bathroom pulling the door shut. Harry remained where he had been placed, like a lifeless doll, he sat and couldn't even begin to process his thoughts or get his body to be willing enough to actually have a shower.

Outside the bathroom Dougie and Danny split off, Dougie went to get a quick shower, leaving Danny sat outside the bathroom. Danny slid down the bathroom door, he couldn't hear the shower yet, in fact there was no sound coming from the bathroom. He decided he'd wait a few more minutes to see if there was any movement and then he resolved to make sure his friend was okay.

He slid into a daydream for the next few moments, thinking about how life had come to this, he didn't even noticed that Tom had sat beside him.

It was with a small jump and a yelp that he realised. Tom had clasped his hand on his shoulder and their eyes connected.

"How's it going Danny?" Tom asked quietly.

That was when Danny heard it; the sound of the delicious shower running from within the bathroom. He smiled lightly and said, "Okay, he's finally having a shower, just worried about him."

"He'll be a little better when we get some food in him and he's cleaned up a bit." Tom replied, moving himself around so that he was sat in the same position as Danny. Together they passed the time by just sitting there and both gave a small smile when Dougie bounded up to them.

"You go shower Danny, we've got it now." Dougie smiled at his friend and gave him a little hug.

Danny stood up and stretched a little, his body aching from the different positions it had already been in since he had woken up, it didn't help that his entire being was tense and stressed.

"Okay, it sounds like he's in the shower now, took him a while though, I haven't shouted through to him yet so maybe you could do that now. He'd better answer." Danny's voice trailed off at the end until it was just a small, low grumble of words.

So, that left Tom and Dougie just sat listening to the shower running just behind the door. Not a word was exchanged but the pair's brains were both in overdrive thinking about how their friend was doing.

Harry, meanwhile, had dragged himself off the toilet seat where he'd originally been placed, shed himself of his soiled clothes and crawled in to the shower. He managed to turn it on but didn't adjust the temperature. Instead he just slid down the cubicle wall. There, he let a few more tears escape; he knew the noise of them would be drowned out by the running water of the shower.

"Harry, you alright in there?" Tom asked, raising his voice so he was sure that Harry would hear it.

Harry heard his friend and knew he had to give an answer if he wanted to keep his privacy for just a bit longer.

"Yeah" came the small, weak reply and it didn't really do much to reassure his two friends who waited outside the bathroom.

"Have you heard anymore about his mum Tom?" Dougie asked in a small, very concerned voice.

Tom shook his head, "No but I can give his dad a call. You think I should? If we get some food in Haz then maybe we could think about telling him."

Dougie nodded and then tilted to the side so that his head was resting on Tom's.

Then Danny came walking back in, wearing grey jogger bottoms and pulling his top over his head. "How's he doing?" He asked as he sat down with them and continued to towel dry his hair.

"Okay, he did answer when we gave him a shout. So that's good I guess. Harry, how's it going mate?" Dougie asked, raising his voice at the end so as his friend could hear.

Inside the bathroom, Harry had once more exhausted his supply of tears, and he knew he should get out the shower as the water had turned quite cold. It was even leaving small goosebumps on his skin. It was with a sigh that he reached up and turned the shower off. He knew he had to be quiet now or else they'd hear him and come in. He managed to pull himself up, it was quite a supreme effort and he forced his body to comply and leave the shower cubicle.

Once out he proceeded to the heater, where a fluffy towel lay, he wrapped it round his body and then walked or rather, stumbled over to the mirror that lay above the sink. He was shocked to see his reflection staring back at him. He looked so worn and old; so unlike Harry Judd. He managed to get a little bit of toothpaste on his brush and gave his teeth their first brush in a while.

Eventually he deemed himself able to try and put his clothes on. He was over the moon when he felt how warm they were when they touched his skin. It was like the warm embrace that he'd been waiting for. When he was warmer and drier he went and stood near the door, he didn't feel ready to face his friends. Truth be told he wasn't sure if he ever would be.

So he slid down the back of the door, knowing that they wouldn't be able to get in, his body blocking the door's path.

The boys outside heard the movement and it seized each of their attentions. When the heard their friend's body almost collapse right behind them each of them jumped and got to their feet.

"Harry? Harry you okay? Harry, Harry answer us please, or we'll come in!" Tom shouted, panic taking over his body as his heart beat increased rapidly, thumping in his chest, blood pumping round his ears so loud.

When no answer came the three boys moved to the door and tried to push it open. When it wouldn't open the panic really set in.

"Harry open the bloody door!" Dougie shouted, he was starting to get angry, not with Harry but the whole situation, he didn't think he'd cope with anymore.

"Harry if you don't open the door I'm gonna call Tom and he'll come round and force you to open the door. After all you always listen to your big brother."

When no response came Danny lost his patience. He hit his palm against the bathroom door and gave an animalistic growl.

"Danny calm down! Please. It's not making it any better." Tom admonished his band mate while Dougie simply moved closer to the door, trying to squish his face through the closed crack by the handle.

"No. Fuck this. I don't know what the fuck to do. Fuck. That's it, I'm calling Tom; maybe he can do something we can't." Danny shouted and stormed from the room.

"Harry, please, just open the door, we're so scared for you." Tom asked quietly, shaken by Danny's outburst.

"_See how ridiculous you are. Look at you, all you had to do was go outside, but no, ickle Harry can't do that, because you're too weak. Too stupid. Too pathetic. Idiot. Why didn't you just answer? Oh yes, that's right, you love the attention you're getting don't you. You see, you're just the drummer, always pushed to the back of the room, always the last one to be noticed, so you thought you'd be an attention seeker now. Weak. Pathetic." _

Danny stormed down the stairs angrily. He barged his way into the living room and picked up the phone. He started to dial the number for Harry's brother but stopped himself. He knew that he was overreacting and that Tom already had so much on his mind. So he stopped himself. Instead he went over to the kettle and went on to make himself a cup of tea. He just sat in the kitchen for the next 10 minutes. He allowed himself to be selfish for that time. He needed to calm down as he was aware that it wasn't helping anyone, he was no good to Harry in the mood he was in. He didn't know if he had come out of the bathroom yet but he hoped so.

Meanwhile Tom and Dougie were still pleading with Harry to open the door but they were running out of things to bargain with.

Harry was still sat in the same position on the other side of the door and was lost in his dark thoughts. He was saddened that he had upset his friend so much and that made him even more scared to leave the bathroom. He decided that when or _if _; something that was on the forefront of his mind, was that Danny had gotten so fed up of him that he wouldn't come back. But hopefully he would and if so Harry would leave the bathroom and apologise to him as well as the other two.

Danny drained the rest of his tea, scrubbed his face with his right hand and expelled a sigh. He then stood up and headed back upstairs to join his band mates. He was saddened but not surprised to find that only Tom and Dougie were outside the bathroom.

"He won't come out." Dougie murmured extremely subdued.

"Harry, it's Danny, can I talk to you please?" Danny asked, his voice strained, he was so angry with himself.

"Danny, did you call Tom? Don't shout at Harry anymore will you, just leave it, it's not helping anything." Tom said quietly, he knew that Danny was close to the end of his tether and that his patience was being tested, as was his and no doubt Dougie's. But he never ever wanted Harry to think that they were cross at him.

Danny nodded and gave a strained, very small smile to Tom, "I know mate. I'm here to try and apologise."

"Here that Haz? I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry. I wanna say this to your face but if you're not going to open the door then I'll just do it like this. I am sorry Harry. Please let me in?" Danny continued.

It was with baited breath that the three waited to see if he would. Each one silently whooped with joy when there was a shuffling noise and the door opened slightly.

"Thank you Harry. I'm gonna come in now okay?" Danny said as he quickly hugged the other two and they all shared triumphant smiles.

Danny squeezed through the gap and his eyes drank in the sight of Harry. He was sat, legs curled tightly into his body with his arms wrapped around them, his body shaking.

"Mate, you mind if I sit with you?" Danny asked he didn't want to force his friend to talk to him or forgive him; he had been so violent before.

"Help yourself." Harry said quietly.

Danny knelt down beside Harry and clasped his hands together. He started to wring them and twist them together, simply trying to stop himself from embracing Harry.

Silence rained down on the room and he could hear Tom and Dougie whispering on the other side of the door.

"I just want to say I'm sorry Harry. It all just got to me for a second there. I'm so so sorry. I really am. Please say something mate." Danny said, scared to meet Harry's eyes, keeping his eyes on his hands instead.

"_Hahahaha. See he won't even look at you. He'd rather look at his hands than at you." _The voices in Harry's head cackled gleefully.

Danny sighed and turned to face his friend. Harry looked distraught and even more broken than before and that made Danny so immensely guilty.

"Please Harry. I just, fuck, I just got so angry. Please, tell me what's happened to you, I want to know, I'm not disgusted, I could _never _be disgusted by you. None of us could be. Just let us be here for you. It's not working like this. I can't tell you how sorry I am for being a massive dick before. If I could take it back I would. I care that you wet the bed, but not because it went on me, but because you're so scared of something: something that you won't share with us. And I get that, I get that you feel awkward by telling us about it, but we want to help. I just want to help you be happy again. God, Harry, you could wee on me, be sick on me, hell, you could run me over and I wouldn't care. You're my best friend and my life would be shit without you. So please, please, forgive me." Danny said quietly all the while looking at Harry. He'd moved his hand and had it held out beside Harry's.

Harry, finally, turned to Danny and his eyes drifted between Danny's eyes and Danny's hand. Then he blinked very slowly and a single lone tear drifted from it, carrying on its journey down his cheek. Then he took his biggest step yet and took Danny's hand in his own. Then he even allowed himself to be tightly hugged, he heard Danny release a loud, choked up sob by his ear and found that Danny started rocking them both slowly. He just sat and listened while Danny murmured "Sorry" repeatedly over and over, and Harry believed every word.

"Thank you" Harry whispered and he knew Danny had heard him because he released a louder sob and was hugged even tighter than before.

This continued for a few minutes and then he was carefully pulled to his feet.

"You feeling okay mate?" Danny asked, still with an arm wrapped firmly around Harry's waist.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good." Harry whispered, and for the first time in an age, Harry genuinely believed it.

Together the two friends opened the door and found Tom and Dougie stood on the other side; both with tear filled eyes and smiles plastered on their faces. The four friends, in that moment, felt as if they could conquer anything.

"I want to tell you. I mean if you want to know, but I understand if you don't, I mean why would you?" Harry said quietly, his voice trailing off towards the end as he lost the confidence.

"Harry, we want you to tell us, please, only if you're ready though?" Tom said, hugging Harry firmly.

When Harry nodded his head he was quickly dragged away by Dougie who had wrapped their hands together. Tom and Danny stood outside the bathroom for just a minute longer and Tom said, "Thanks for getting him back, you did good Jones." Tom smiled, clapped him on the back and then they followed the footsteps of the other two who had gone to the kitchen.

**Thank you so much for reading this chapter. I found it quite hard to write but I am starting to make an idea of where it's going…. Well truth be told I have a few different directions so I'm just trying to write the story and make it ready to go in the direction I choose exactly when I need to. I'm going home this weekend and have no time to write on Monday and Tuesday so just wanted to get an update in before then, but good news, I should have made a decision about where it's going by then **** Hope you enjoyed! **** A review telling me what you thought would also be great! Thanks! xx**


	17. Chapter 17

**Well **** I'm back from home, which was lovely and it's so good to see my parents. **** Here's the next chapter. Thank you so much for reviewing and reading and most importantly, I'm so glad that you're enjoying it. I love writing and it's so much better when people actually want to read it! **

**And thank you all for the amazing reviews as per! They honestly make me a very happy girl!**

**If any of you are on SuperCity please add me…because I don't know how to do anything…hahah my username is AlexBrownMcflyFan…I think? Hhaha and a superdooper massive thankyou to ThisLooksLikeAJobForMe for giving me a free code which I have just used and then decided to sign up because SuperCity is amaaaazing! Thankyou 3**

**I also realised that I haven't really been putting disclaimers in. Whoops. My bad. So yeah, I don't own anything in connection to McFly apart from anything I can get my hands on in the shops **** I only own the plot **

Dougie had a firm grip on Harry's hand as he pulled him along. Well, it wasn't so much that Dougie was forcing him to walk, just Harry seemed to be stumbling slightly, and it was cause for yet more concern. So he led him in to the kitchen with the intention of getting him some food.

"Harry, you sit down and should we all have a bite to eat? Tom made some before, it just needs reheating." Dougie asked his friend, their hands still connected.

Harry nodded, he couldn't find his voice, he was so scared about what he was going to tell them. He knew he should tell them the truth and then maybe, just maybe, it would be okay again. Together they could evade the man. But at the back of Harry's mind he doubted this. The man was too clever. The man was always one step ahead of him. Even if Harry thought for a second that he had forgotten about him every single time he even blinked the man's face was imprinted on his eyelids. He couldn't get away from him.

So Harry sat down and let more thoughts of nightmarish realities fill his mind as Dougie fussed over the four plates of food. Harry was still day dreaming when Danny and Tom entered the room. The pair looked from Harry whose eyes had almost glazed over, to Dougie who was humming a tune under his breath, and then they looked at each other. Silently communicating in the way only they could, they split off heading different ways.

Tom walked over to Dougie and placed his right hand on the small of Dougie's back, making him jump for a second, "What's up with Harry? He's sat like a zombie again."

When he heard this Dougie turned around to see Danny knelt in front of Harry.

"Hey mate. See Dougs is being a good little housewife today isn't he?" Danny grinned, he wanted to see Harry smile again like he used to, and he knew how much Harry loved taking the mickey out of Dougie being a bit girly sometimes. He waited for a reaction, anything, he just hoped that they hadn't gone back another step again. He knew that Dougie and Tom were waiting with baited breath too as he could feel their eyes upon him.

Then it happened. Harry grinned. He actually grinned. "Yeah at least he knows his place now….took him long enough." He smirked and turned his head towards Dougie who simply stared at his friend. Then he caught himself and laughed with Harry. The tension in the room lessened as the four friends all had a little snigger at the thought of Dougie being their housewife.

But all too soon it stopped and once more silence rained down on the room. Tom cleared his throat and put the plates in the oven quickly.

Harry stood up, he knew that eyes were following him as he headed to the pantry where he retrieved four bottles of beer. He turned around and was met by the less than impressed faces of his band mates.

"If you want me to tell you then I'm going to have a beer or two first." Harry stated, firmly as he handed the drinks round.

Dougie, Danny and Tom looked at each other when they heard the cap come off Harry's bottle. With a sigh Danny followed him and took a swift drink himself. He reasoned in his head that a drink wouldn't hurt considering what was to follow.

Tom and Dougie served the food up and then joined Harry and Danny at the table. Harry looked at his plate. The food would have once looked amazing to his starving tummy but now he looked at it with unease. There was no way he could keep it down. But then he felt bad because they'd gone to all of this trouble. So, with a heavy hear he picked up his cutlery and started to cut the piece of meat on his plate.

Tom tried his best not to watch Harry eat but the struggle his band mate was having tore at his heart. He was so scared for Harry. Eating shouldn't be difficult. He knew that Danny and Dougie were thinking the same, this was proven when he caught them too staring at Harry.

"Guys, this is quite hard as it is, just ignore me for a bit yeah?" Harry asked, trying to make it light hearted and casual; not rude.

"_But you are rude Harry. Rudey rudey rudey. They do all of this for you, you wee on them, you attack them, you shout at them and what do they do? Cook you a fine meal. They can stare all they like at you, you worthless piece of scum. You're not good enough to be in their band anymore. Hell, you shouldn't even be friends with them at all. They're too good for you." _

The voices started again. This time it was just whispers but it was loud enough to ensure that Harry was aware that they were back. It seemed they were back with a vengeance because they spoke words that had been uttered to him before….by his rapist. That man had told him that he didn't deserve his friends. He didn't deserve to be loved by his band mates. The worst thing was that there was more times that Harry found himself agreeing with this than there were that he disagreed.

Harry shuddered as the voices kept going. He didn't want to lose control. Not now, not after he'd just managed to start convincing them that he wasn't completely insane. His hands started to shake as the voices became a constant buzz in his head. He knew that even though they were hiding it as best they could the guys were still all glancing at him. He knew that they would notice, so, with his unsteady hands he tried to cut his food once again.

The voices got louder and louder chanting _"pathetic" _until Harry suddenly lost it. "Fuck off" he cried in torment and threw his cutlery forwards, propelling it across the table, a piece hit off Tom who gave a small yelp of shock and then they clanged to the floor. The whole room was deathly silent. Harry was sat panting from the desperation that had just overthrown him. The voices had stopped now. It was complete silence in his head. He looked at his friends, all of them were staring back at him with startled expressions, and he let his head drop. He was weak. He **was **weak. It was true. Everything that the man had been telling him was true.

He sat with his head down, avoiding the eyes of the others, waiting for the explosion that was bound to come; the questions, the interrogation, the concern. So when he felt somebody put their hand under his chin and lift his head up he thought he was going to get hit. It was with shock that he met Danny's eyes. He whimpered a little bit, he couldn't get the image out of his head of Danny slamming his hand against the bathroom door and he was sure that it was going to happen to his face in a second.

But Danny didn't hit him. He too, was recalling his burst of violence from before and he knew he would have to be very careful in reassuring his friend that it wouldn't happen again.

Tom and Dougie watched the scene play out in front of them. They smiled on the inside when they watched Danny control his temper and simply hug Harry. Making small shushing noises as a few tears escaped Harry's eyes.

"The voices, have they come back Haz?" He asked tentatively, still holding his friend close to him.

"Yeah, I thought they'd gone, but they never leave. They won't go away. Please. I just want them to stop." Harry mumbled, wrapping his hands in Danny's top and trying to pull him closer than they could physically get.

"Hey, Shhhh, they'll leave Haz. They will. I promise. We all do." Danny said as he wrapped both of his arms round Harry and looked at Tom and Dougie across the table.

At this, the pair of them got up and walked round to their friends. The three of them held Harry and made promises that he would be okay again but it would just take time.

After a few minutes Harry calmed down and said a quiet thank you to his friends. At which all three said "Mate, we'd do anything for you, you don't have to thank us for being your friend."

Tom got up and walked over to the cutlery drawer and came back. Without a word being exchanged he cut up Harry's food and handed them back to him.

Harry gave him a small, grateful smile but couldn't help the blush of pink that painted his cheeks due to embarrassment at having to have his friend cut up his dinner.

Dougie noticed this and said, in a very firm voice, "Don't you dare be embarrassed Harry. Don't you dare. I've never been angry with you over anything. But I will be angry if you let this sick bastard destroy you. We all will. We know it's tough. We can see that on your face every second of every day but don't you ever give in. Got that? Don't you **ever.** The day that you believe you deserve any of this shit is the day I will be pissed as hell at you. Okay?" Dougie finished gripping Harry's shoulder strongly and looking into his blue orbs.

Harry nodded, swallowing back the lump that had formed at the back of his throat from crying.

Danny leaned in and lightly kissed Harry's head, whispering, "We love you mate. Wouldn't change you for the world but I agree with Dougs and I know Tom does too; don't you ever give in to it all."

Then the three boys took their places at the table once more and continued to eat their food. Harry also took his fork and pierced some, he brought to his mouth and realised how hungry he was. He couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten. He ate with renewed enthusiasm but then he quickly got full. He normally would have finished the plate and wanted seconds. Slightly subdued at himself he lay his cutlery down.

"Finished mate?" Dougie asked; shocked that Harry had left so much food.

"Erm, yeah, it was good, really good, just I'm full. I'm sorry." Harry responded quietly, feeling awkward and rude for not eating his food; food that had been cooked for him.

"Ah it's alright. It's just 'cos you haven't eaten in so long your body isn't used to it. But you'll get there mate, we'll just have to get you eating more often, yeah?" Tom stated as he got up and started clearing his and Harry's plates away. Harry got up to help him but Tom lightly pushed him back to his seat again.

So Harry sat while Danny and Dougie kept eating and Tom started washing up. He reached for his beer bottle and took a few swigs from it while playing with the peeling label on the side.

All of a sudden there was a knock at the door and nobody missed the way that Harry cowered slightly. As Danny got up in a hurry so as to stop whoever it was from knocking again Harry rose up from his seat too.

"I'll get it mate." Harry said and then left without waiting for an answer.

Danny hung back but he didn't sit back down, instead he inched his way quietly towards the front door, trying to discern who it was.

A few moments later Harry re-entered with their manager Fletch. Fletch had his arm loosely hung round Harry's shoulders.

Just as he was about to open his mouth Tom interrupted, "Can I have a quick word with you mate please?" He asked and walked out the room waiting for Fletch to follow him.

"We haven't told him about his mum yet. I just didn't want you to go saying anything. Speaking of…have you heard anymore?" Tom whispered, trying to speak as quietly as possible.

"Ah okay mate. No I haven't heard anything but hopefully it'll be as the saying goes, no news is good news. But erm, I'm here about something else, I'm assuming you haven't seen it yet." Fletch said, tension in his voice as he reached inside his jacket to reveal a rolled up newspaper.

"It was front page today. Looks like one of the girls." Fletch said as he handed it to Tom.

The front page was a picture of Harry a few days after _it_ had happened and it was clear that it must have been one of the girls as nobody else would have been able to take a photo like that. The article below spoke of how Harry had been raped and his band mates took him home. At first it appeared alright. Tom was still greatly annoyed that it had been published but there was nothing sinister about it…until he read on. Then he saw how the person described the band as uncaring towards Harry. How they got angry with him for not playing his drums anymore and not helping them write songs. Tom gave a gasp of sheer outrage when he read the next line "The other boys just want Harry out, they don't need him ruining things for them, this is their shot and he's just being so selfish."

"What the fuck?" Tom fumed to Fletch. "Who was it?"

"Mate, I'm as clueless as you are, but this is the first story that's come from a reliable source to say he's been raped. The press are gonna be having a field day tomorrow" Fletch answered, rubbing his hand across his eyes. He looked like he'd been up for most of the night; presumably doing as much damage control as humanly possible.

"Listen, the guys have to know about this, I'll go get them and you can tell them or I'll tell them and you see to Harry? Whichever suits you, I know you haven't seen Haz in a while." Tom asked his eyes burning with a fire of outrage.

"I'll talk with Harry. I feel bad for not checking in on him but I just thought he wouldn't want me here." Fletch answered sadly. Harry was a friend to him as well as a colleague and what had happened had broken his heart as well.

Without another word being exchanged Tom headed to the kitchen.

"Haz, mate, Fletch wants to talk to you; I think he's been missing you." Tom said with a weak smile.

Harry got up and went through to where Fletch was sat and left Tom in the kitchen with the other two. Both of whom were looking at him with curious eyes; they knew that something had happened.

"One of them, one of them fucking did it didn't they! The one thing we always thought they'd never do." Tom burst out angrily shoving the paper towards the pair.

As Dougie and Danny read the article their eyes grew bigger and bigger. The pair quickly became outraged and a fire burned in Dougie's eyes. "I can't believe it. It's gotta be one of them though, I mean no one else knows anything about it. I know we haven't exactly been spending a lot of time with them lately but surely they understand why." He said quietly in pure disbelief that any of the girls would do such a thing.

Danny was silent for a few minutes and then the first thing he asked, in a weak voice was, "Has Harry seen this?" To which Tom shook his head.

"Right well his family will have so we'd best give them a call quickly and it means we can find more out about his mum." Danny continued in a low murmur, to Tom it looked like he wasn't even aware of where he was anymore, he was just immersed in his own little world trying his best to take care of as much damage control as possible.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess we'd better let them know. Fletch said he hadn't heard anymore so that must mean something positive surely." Tom sighed. He just wanted it all to stop for his friend.

Danny took his phone from his pocket and then left the room, stepping out in to the garden to avoid the phone call being overheard by Harry. In the meantime Dougie and Tom looked at each other and then together walked in to the living room where they found Harry sitting on the couch opposite Fletch. Even from a distance both boys could see that Harry was visibly shaking. Fletch didn't look much better, he was looking at his friend with teary eyes, trying to be strong, like the man opposite him whose life had been ripped apart.

Fletch felt like he didn't have the right to cry for his friend, his friend who was trying so hard to deal with the shit that had been dealt to him. He, too, saw the way that Harry's whole body was shaking, it was clear to all of them that Harry wasn't coping.

"Hey Fletch, it's good to see you mate." Dougie said as he made his way over to their manager and firmly shook his hand and pulled him in for a quick hug. It was also a good distraction from Harry as it bought him a minute or two of unobserved time so that he could pull himself together.

Tom and Dougie found themselves seats and made small talk with Fletch until Danny returned.

Danny gave the boys a small discreet nod and then took a seat as well once he had greeted Fletch.

"Listen lads, I'm sorry I couldn't stay for longer, I just have some work to do but I'll come by again sooner if that's alright?" Fletch asked as he stood up.

After he's left there was silence in the room. Harry had obviously found something on is hands captivating and so was sat staring at his hands.

Tom chose this moment to say, "Harry, you still wanna do this?"

When Harry heard his name mentioned he looked up with a start. He hadn't really noticed that Fletch had left, he just remembered vaguely hearing goodbyes and seeing someone, possibly Tom, walking him out of the room. A part of him felt guilty for being so rude that he couldn't even say goodbye to his manager. He looked between his three best friends seeing that they were all waiting with baited breath and then he took a deep sigh.

Then he began to tell them what had happened. He still wasn't sure if he wanted to tell them everything; that he had been raped more than once, or if he just wanted to tell them that it had been a one-off. As he started to explain it was clear which one he wished them to know as the truth and not even a little part of him felt bad about lying to them…

**Well. I will admit that I wasn't really happy with this chapter…I've spent a lot of the week writing it when I had spare time and I think I write better when I do it all in one go. But never mind, it's long I guess so that's something **** Hope you all enjoy! **** Please let me know what you think **** I honestly have no idea where this story is going to end up still **** But it won't be ending for a while! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Hiii **** so here it is. The next chapter. I'm really so sorry for it being so long but I have loads of assessments going on and have got a really busy few weeks at the minute. Went to see McFLY on Sunday and it was AMAZING! Also watched the livestream on Super City … Oh my days! It was such an atmosphere! I love them **** Anyways, if updates are rare for the next few weeks then I will make it up to you eventually with lots of lovely chapters! :') Thanks and Enjoy, please let me know what you think if you have time as I do really appreciate it! **

Tears fell from their eyes as they watched their shaking friend, the way that he had actually got up and moved a bit further away from them all, had scared them. It made things far more real, not that they hadn't seemed real enough for the past few weeks, but something about it caught their attention.

The way that Harry spoke, his words almost curling in upon themselves as his breath shuddered and stumbled in words uttered from a barely moving mouth. His arms that almost clawed at his own forearms, his face with small beads of sweat running down, as he did his utmost best to maintain eye contact with his band mates. The t-shirt that he was wearing, navy blue, which hung from his limp frame, all creased and worn; a perfect and fitting reflection of the way that Harry was feeling himself.

Tom studied his friend, noticing the way he was holding himself and not once looking at any of the boys directly. Of course Tom understood that Harry was bound to feel uncomfortable maintaining eye contact with anyone given the subject of what he was saying – but there was something not quite right about it. Harry seemed to stumble and trip over his words and then shift his eyes from side to side as if to check if anybody had noticed. Of course, Tom was sure that this just made them all notice him even more. He glanced over at Danny and Dougie and saw that they were looking at Harry with very concerned expressions. Dougie's forehead was creased, almost in frustration; he looked as if he was even starting to get angry.

"That was it. I don't remember much else after that, I just kinda remember seeing you lot and Elle…" Tom suddenly realised that Harry was still talking about it and he did his best to tune back in. Harry's voice chose then to just trail off.

He'd forgotten about his girlfriend. How could he forget her? He hadn't seen her in how long now? When this dawned on him he whimpered expelling tears in spurts from his eyes; his eyes that had lost their brightness a long time ago.

Dougie watched as his friend once again crumbled in front of his very eyes and without a second to waste he was at his friend's side. His arms wrapped snugly round him. He knew as soon as Harry mentioned his girlfriend that it would release some raw emotions.

"You want to call her mate? Think she'd be happy to hear from you" Dougie whispered in Harry's ear. He tried his best not to listen to the niggling little voice saying that it could well have been her that sold the story. He refused to believe that any of the girls could have been capable of that type of deceit but yet, there didn't seem to be any alternative as to who it could have been.

Harry shook his head and gruffly cleared his voice. He was beyond sick of breaking down and he did want to speak to his girlfriend, he wanted to hug her and wished nothing more than going back to his perfect life with her before. He missed the little freckles that looked like they had been thrown from the sky because of the way they littered her face. He missed her deep brown eyes, the ones that looked like pools of warmth and comfort. He missed holding her arm and pulling her close; entwining their bodies in a mixture of limbs and pressing a small but lovingly gentle kiss onto her soft luscious hair. He missed the way he made her giggle and the way that sweet little laugh made him tingle with happiness.

Now, when he thought of her he just thought of the fact he had spat at her, pushed her, hurt her; become the man he never wanted to be. He wiped furiously at the tears in his eyes as he shook his head. He didn't want it to be this way. With that he looked up and saw that Dougie was now squished into the same seat as him, still wrapping him in a warm embrace. He saw how Danny and Tom had moved closer together; as if trying to get strength from one another.

Harry sat there still gulping back the salty aftertaste of fresh tears.

"Are you sure?" Tom couldn't stop himself; the words were out of his mouth before his brain connected with the implications of them. He shuddered on the inside when he felt three pairs of eyes on him. "I mean are you sure that's all? Like everything?" Tom tried to continue on, make it seem less rude and accusing, but as the words continued to tumble without care from his mouth, he mentally berated himself for being so foolish.

"What do you mean, _"is he sure"?_" Danny asked in disbelief at Tom.

"I mean, look at him, I know that rape is terrible and traumatic but it seemed to me it was an ordeal that he doesn't really remember. I'm not saying that this lessons it or makes it any better. But mate," Tom replied, his eyes switching between Danny and Harry until they rested on the latter, "I know there's more and I hope you'll tell us; because I can see what it's doing to you."

Harry gulped. He felt his forehead perspiring more and more rapidly and then the more that he became aware of it the more it happened. He tugged loosely at the neck of his top in a pitiful attempt to inconspicuously fan himself. This just made the hot flush he was having more intense until, he was panting and tugging roughly at his clothes, pushing himself up and out of the seat, knocking Dougie out of the way.

He paced; small quick steps as he tugged and tugged at his top, trying to collect himself.

"Hey, hey Harry, calm down okay? Just sit, okay, I'll get you a drink, just sit down and you'll cool down in a sec." Dougie said quietly trying to grab the attention of his friend for a simple second, he was more worried now, he saw with dark realisation that perhaps Tom was right; that there was more to this story.

"Look at what you've done mate. Look at him; you caused this. You with your psychologist shit." Danny whispered furiously to Tom, an anger in his eyes that had never, in all the years they had known each other, been directed at him. Then he softened the tone of his voice as he looked at Harry, "Mate, listen to Dougs and please have a seat before you fall down."

A few moments passed and Harry was still pacing, tugging at his clothes furiously, the flush spread across his face and Dougie flipped all of a sudden and dragged him down into the seat. Once in it Harry immediately calmed and all of the energy seemed to drain out of him. He was almost shell-like when there was an explosion in the room…

Danny walked over to Tom and squared up to him, getting right up into his face, "Who the hell do you think you are to say that you don't believe him? Tom, look at him, look at him for crying out loud, the state he's in. He doesn't look like a liar to me." Danny shouted, trying his hardest to keep the volume of it down so as not to scare Harry anymore but that failed. His voice rose until Tom shouted "Enough!"

That outburst did silence Danny – purely from shock. Tom looked back into his eyes defiantly and stepped closer, whispering furiously, to make his friend listen. "I don't want it to be true. But I owe it to myself and one of my best friends to make sure that there isn't more to it. So before you start attacking me why don't we just check, yeah?"

Danny maintained the intense eye contact that him and Tom were sharing and then ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know what to think; not once had he contemplated that Harry would lie to them.

There was a silence in the room unlike one that the band had ever had the discomfort to suffer through before. It pelted down on them like hail in a snowstorm. It attacked the skin, making everyone's nerves stand on end, to attention; like a band of mal-armed soldiers being attacked by an unbeatable force. It was partially broken when Dougie re-entered the room with a tray of drinks that he proceeded to hand around. When he got to Harry he knelt down, facing his friend, "You feeling any better now Harry?" He asked: his voice small and timid.

Harry nodded, his eyes glistened in unreleased liquid, he couldn't quite form any words yet though in the worry that he would end up sobbing hysterically.

He was worried that he would create more of a fuss and annoy the boys even more so. So he sat there, not really paying any attention to the two boys that were having a stand-off only a few metres away from him, oblivious to the boy that was knelt in front of him, peering at him with concerned eyes.

"Look at him for Christ's sake Tom. He's a fucking mess. He probably couldn't even think up a lie right now if he tried so why the hell have you got it into your head that he has? Huh? Ey?" Danny said, his voice not really conveying the sense of anger that he was feeling.

The pair of them were still stood, almost appearing to be frozen in time, each seemingly waiting for the other one to act. Then it happened…

Tom hit Danny. Just a small punch to the arm; almost like a play fight, even though these circumstances were nothing like that. But it was enough for Danny to flip. He jumped forward and wrestled an arm around Tom's neck, dragging him to the ground, where he proceeded to lay in to him, making small hits here and there whilst the body below him yelped and squirmed begging for a release.

Dougie could only watch as his friends fell to the floor. He didn't know what to do so he sat, drink in hand, wondering how it had progressed to this. It wasn't until he felt the body move next to him that he realised the severity of the situation.

Harry had crawled forward until he was able to wrap himself into Dougie, shielding his face from the pain of seeing his friends fight, the intense pain caused by the fact that he was the reason that they were fighting. He whimpered as he heard fists connect with flesh and the small yelps that emanated from Tom's lips. He wrapped his tired hands into Dougie's top, refusing to let go, wanting to feel safe and normal again.

"STOP IT!" Dougie yelled angrily.

It was enough to make the boys pause at least and together they turned their heads towards the speaker. What they saw tore at their hearts and showed the severity of the situation.

"Shit." Danny murmured, dropping his head in shame and rolling his body off of Tom's.

Tom lay there for a second more, his body free from the weight of his attacker but he knew he'd ruined his chances then. He knew it would take a lot for them to redeem themselves to Harry. He was aware that they'd probably just made everything a million times worse and it was with a heavy heart that he finally heaved himself up to face the other occupants of the room…

**Sorry for this not being longer. I just should really go to bed and wanted to get something posted :') Will update soon as I can…! xx**


	19. Chapter 19

**Yessss! Thank you for amazingly kind reviews yet again. Went home today for Easter and felt like writing some more. So here's the next chapter, enjoy! **** x**

"Harry? Harry it's okay now, it's alright, they've stopped" Dougie murmured gently to his shaking friend.

Harry just whimpered more, shaking his head, trying to bury himself closer to Dougie.

Dougie lifted his eyes to face the ashamed pair. "I think you two should go away somewhere. Whatever this shit is between you, I suggest you sort it out, before you apologise to Harry." His voice was eerily low and tense, the anger that he felt burned brightly in his eyes and he held eye contact until the pair dragged themselves to the door of the room.

Tom had a few traces of blood on his pale face, a busted lip and the beginnings of a black eye.

Danny had faired better as he had been the administrator of the beatings but Tom had managed to get a punch or two in, to his arms, and the faint outlines of bruises were beginning to form on his freckled arms.

Dougie shook his head at the pair and waited until they had left the room before trying to talk to Harry again.

"Look at me, please Harry, please?" He whispered softly, running a calming hand through his friend's short hair and the other rubbing small soothing circles on his back.

Harry shook his head, fresh tears leaking from his exhausted eyes; he knew that the fight had been his fault, after all Tom had been right. This intense guilt attacked Harry like a swarm of flies on a dead carcass rotting in the sun. It ate him up inside until he was nothing more than a shell. He was even more scared to admit the truth now. He didn't want to admit that he had been lying. He was so terrified that _he_ would find out that Harry had told of one single occasion and he didn't dare think about the repercussions.

Dougie sighed. He was so tired of this and frustrated at the lack of progress being made by Harry. He didn't know what to do and so he stood up; trying to shake the body off that clung to him so tightly. It wasn't that he was trying to push Harry away, even though that is how it may have seemed to someone watching the scene play out, all he was trying to do was get a reaction from his friend. This distraught and traumatised Harry was not a version of his friend that he was keen on; he hated that Harry had become this person. So he wriggled his body away from the one that grasped him until they were once again two separate entities.

Harry was still crumpled on the floor like an unwanted rag-doll and Dougie looked down on him with pity in his eyes. Then, when he collected himself, knelt down beside his friend and pulled him close, rocking the pair as ill-afforded tears were spilt from both pairs of eyes.

"Haz I'm sorry about them. I'm sorry for what happened to you. But I understand where Tom was coming from, I do but I agree with Dan. It wasn't the time or the place. They shouldn't have started fighting though; the idiots. Pair of them should know that it won't help a thing." Dougie murmured holding Harry closely to his chest.

"It's my fault though Dougs." Harry's voice startled Dougie as he didn't expect a reply from his friend.

"Why would you think that Haz? Of course it's not your fault." Dougie replied, shifting his weight slightly so he cradled more of his friend's body.

No answer came from his friend and Dougie pulled them both from the ground. From there he dragged his friend to the sofa where both bodies plonked down onto the plush soft-brown leather.

Together they sat for a few silent minutes; neither having any more tears to shed and just wallowing in the silence.

Outside the room Danny and Tom were glaring at each other.

"Fuck's sake Tom." Danny spat; his voice low and menacing.

"Oh what now, Daniel?" Tom sighed as he dabbed at his blood stained face with a wet cloth.

"You know what Thomas." Danny simply replied, shrugging his body down onto the nearest chair.

No response was given from Tom who refused to argue anymore and instead followed in Danny's footsteps and sat down at the table.

There was silence in the room with only a quiet humming coming from the next room.

In that room Dougie was humming small tunes under his breath and found, elated, that it soothed Harry slightly. His body was relaxing slightly which gave Dougie renewed enthusiasm; perhaps all had not been lost. Eventually Dougie was elated to hear soft snoring coming from the body next to him. After carefully manoeuvring himself away from Harry without waking him up, Dougie took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for what was to come. Then, without further ado, he went through to see Danny and Tom.

"What in God's name was that?" Dougie asked once he'd cautiously shut the door behind himself and turned to face the despondent pair sat at the table.

Danny and Tom turned when the heard the door opening; both of their bodies tensing from the confrontation they knew was coming.

"Yeah Tom, what _was_ that?" Danny asked with the mannerism of a petulant child.

"Danny?" Dougie asked quietly.

"Yeah Dougs?"

"Shut up. As if you thought that attacking Tom would help anything." Dougie said his voice low and threatening.

With that Danny was silent. He could tell that Dougie was most definitely not in the mood to be played around with.

"I know, I shouldn't have said anything but I just don't see how we're meant to believe that this is a one time thing." Tom replied, his eyes staring into space and his hands shuffling aimlessly over the table's smooth surface.

"Yeah but did you have to say that then. I mean it's one thing to think it, another completely different one to actually say it, could you not have had a bit more tact?" Dougie said as he too took a seat around the table.

Tom didn't reply as he dabbed away at the drying blood on his face. Danny lifted his eyes to take in the sight of his friend.

"Tom…I'm sorry mate. I really am. Fuck. I don't know why I did that. I guess I'm just angry." Danny said, his lips barely moving, almost as if he wanted to apologise without anybody noticing.

"Dan we're all angry. But I didn't deserve that and you know it. It fucking hurt as well." Tom replied shaking his head slightly.

"I know…you can hit me if it'll make things better?" Danny's eyes were sad and downcast. It was clear to both Dougie and Tom that he greatly regretted his actions.

"Ahh mate I'll let you off…Just this time though…Next time I'll pin you down." Tom joked; a small half-laugh escaping his lips.

"Well as glad as I am that you two have kissed and made up…I am glad by the way. I don't know how you're going to make it up to Harry. He was terrified." The seriousness in Dougie's voice rang out loudly in the quiet room.

Tom and Danny looked across the table at one another, neither one with a clue of what they could possibly say or do to change things, both of them furious with themselves for behaving like they had.

"I just want him to be happy again. I miss seeing him smile. Fuck. I know I shouldn't have said anything but I just feel that there's more to it all..." Tom managed to say this but his voice trailed off in the end as he gulped back salty tears.

"If it's any consolation I kinda feel the same way Tom. I mean we know Harry better than anyone else and if we think there's something more, then maybe there is?" Dougie said quietly while looking directly at Danny; as if daring him to argue.

"Okay. Say that you two are right. One: why the fuck would he lie about it when he said that he was telling us the truth. Two: why wouldn't he have said anything earlier? Three: how the hell do we find out for sure?" Danny asked, his eyes switching between Tom and Dougie.

Silence followed. None of them had any ideas as to the answers of these very good questions but they didn't have to sit and contemplate for too long as there was soon the sound of shuffling footsteps in the living room.

Harry had awoken to find the room empty besides himself. The first thing he heard where the murmured low voices of his friends in the kitchen and, after having rubbed his sleep filled eyes, moved his body from the couch and started shuffling towards the door. He was dreading seeing Danny and Tom but he was desperate for a drink to soothe his parched throat.

As soon as he neared the kitchen he heard the voices stop. He took a deep breath and then opened the door.

When he walked in he felt three sets of eyes on him. He lowered his eyes to the ground and quietly said, "I was just getting a drink. Is that okay?" He stopped moving, eyes still directed at the floor, waiting for a response; a confirmation that he was allowed a drink.

It eventually dawned on Harry was waiting for a reply saying he was allowed one. "Hey, you know you're allowed a drink Haz, you know that right?"

When Harry heard Tom's voice he shook his head away slightly as if he ere afraid of it.

Everyone noticed this and without a second's thought Dougie spoke up, "I'll get you one if you want mate. What do you fancy?" Dougie asked as he got up and went to get a glass out for his friend.

Together Harry and Dougie went about fixing up a drink of orange squash and whilst they were doing it both of them missed the way that Tom and Danny looked at one another.

Once Harry had a drink he stood, feet shuffled together, almost waiting for something.

Dougie noticed, "Harry. I've spoken to Tom and Danny, I think we should all talk though, you up for that?" He asked quietly, hoping against hope that Harry would agree.

No reply was given by Harry, instead he just slumped his body into a chair, letting his eyes fall downwards again.

"Harry I'm so sorry. It was my fault. I over-reacted and just lost my temper. I'm sorry and Tom please know I am really sorry." Danny's voice was low and gruff when he spoke.

"It's okay." Was the simple response given by Harry but his eyes never met Danny's; they were too fixated on his own lap.

"It's not okay though. Fuck. Mate I never should have lost my temper. Shit. Please Harry just say something."

At this Harry finally raised his eyes, he finally met the eyes of his best friend and the simple words he muttered were, "It doesn't matter; nothing matters anymore."

**Well this chapter started off fun and easy to write and then I kinda started watching the Bourne Identity and lost interest in writing a little bit. But yeah. Hope this was okay to read and not too boring or anything. Can't guarantee when I'll next update but shouldn't be too long. Please let me know what you thought and if there's anything you'd like to know **** xx**


	20. Chapter 20

**Yayy thank you for the reviews as per **** Here's the next chapter. Also I do check through my chapters, I write them on Word and it is meant to underline any spelling or grammatical errors so I do double check but apparently it doesn't find all of them or something happens when I upload it because I've noticed that some punctuation doesn't appear when it should. Anyway, I'll do a double check in future so finger's crossed! … Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: It breaks my heart to admit that I don't own any of McFLY **

After he had uttered those words there wasn't a sound to be heard. Each occupant was sat wondering about the weight of those words. How much were they true? Did Harry really feel that badly about things?

Harry wasn't really sure why he had said that. He didn't really think about them as they tumbled from his dry mouth; the drink that Dougie had got him was being limply held in his hand still. He sat, silent and unmoving, waiting for someone to react. He almost didn't care if it was a violent reaction; he just wanted somebody to show something. In a twisted way he almost wanted the violence because it made him feel alive. It made him feel _something. _So he sat and waited, and waited, and waited.

"What would make you say that Harry?" Tom asked curiously. He looked over at his friend who was still sitting, staring at his lap, drink untouched in his hand despite him saying he was thirsty.

Harry gave no answer.

"Harry, please talk to us, please?" Danny continued trying to get a verbal response from their friend.

Harry gave no answer.

"Harry we're worried, that's all, if you don't want to talk to us anymore that's alright but at least can we watch a film or something, the four of us?" Dougie spoke quietly, taking a second to look around the table at everyone.

This time Harry did answer, "Okay but you pick the film." His voice was still a bit croaky from being asleep but it rung loudly in the quiet room.

Dougie gave a soft smile and rose from his seat to find Harry stumble up quickly too. Perplexed, but saying nothing, Dougie headed to the living room; he wasn't too shocked when he noticed Harry following him from the corner of his eye.

Danny and Tom were left at the table as it dawned on them that Harry wasn't happy to be around them anymore, since the fight, they watched on as Harry stood as close to Dougie as he possibly could without their bodies touching.

Dougie handled it well, normally he'd find somebody continuously being that close to him annoying but he knew why Harry was doing it and so he took Harry in a loose grip and pulled him over to the nearest sofa. There he placed him like a teddy bear and knelt down in front of him. He went out to say, "Mate, I'll come and sit with you, let me just put a DVD in okay?" Waiting until he had got a short nod off Harry and then Dougie went to put the television on.

"It's starting." He called as he stayed true to his word and plonked himself down next to his friend.

Danny and Tom entered the room and noticed that Harry tensed slightly, and then the pair went to the other sofa, watching as Dougie put a hand around Harry's shoulders.

The film was Monsters Inc. Together the four friends sat and laughed a little at the adventures of Mike Wazowski and Scully.

"Boo you Randall" Dougie giggled.

Harry smiled softly at the happiness he saw shining in the bassist's eyes. He knew that something had to give; yet he couldn't bring himself to admit that he'd lied. Lied about the fact that he'd let himself be raped over and over again. He also knew that he should trust Tom and Danny but the fight had left him feeling scared. His eyes hurt from crying so much, his throat continuously stung from gulping back tears and crying out, his limbs ached from never doing anything, the cut on his arm tingled. He was a mess and he knew it. Without a word he rose up from the couch and left the room, heading for his bedroom.

Danny, Dougie and Tom all looked at each other with troubled expressions when he left. The three of them got up slowly and carefully, so as not to make much noise, and followed their friend. It was easy enough to find where he'd gone as they saw his bedroom door close. The three stood, looking at the tall barrier that lay between them and Harry, almost as if they were waiting for it to simply step aside.

Dougie knocked, "You okay mate?" His voice ringing out in the silence, slightly muffled by the door he was leaning against.

When no reply came Danny rapped his knuckled against the hard wooden frame.

Dougie tried again, "Harry, everything alright?"

On the other side of that barrier Harry had sat down on his bed. His hand had unconsciously moved and picked up his phone. The first thing he saw were the missed calls; 12 to be exact. All from _him_. Harry gulped and winced when his throat gave a sharp pain.

Harry deleted them all when he heard the footsteps outside his door. When Dougie spoke he wasn't really listening enough to decipher what he was actually saying but it didn't come as a shock when the door handle started turning. The door swung open gently to reveal his band mates.

"Mate, what's wrong?" Tom asked, not moving any closer for fear of scaring Harry.

"Apart from being raped and you lot thinking I've lied about it you mean?" Harry spat; his voice low and raspy.

"No. Harry when I said that, fuck, I never meant that I thought you lied about being raped. I just meant…Oh shit…I didn't mean that I don't believe you Harry. Of course I do." Tom whispered; trying his best to fight back the tears he so badly wanted to cry. He just wanted to run the distance to his friend and embrace him tightly in his arms and never ever let him go. Tom just wanted to shield Harry from any more pain and torture.

_Tom's lying to you Harry. Of course he doesn't believe you. Why would anybody believe a word you say? You just sit here, like an attention seeking whore, waiting for him, aren't you Harry? You miss him taking control of you because, let's be honest, you can't look after yourself. May as well just leave now, save everyone the heartache of having to kick you out themselves: which they will…when the time comes. You see Harry Mark Christopher Judd, these boys, well you may think of them as friends, family even, but all they think of you as is a band mate, a lowlife drummer whore. Look at them, so disgusted they won't come any closer to you, you snivelling rat. _The voices chanted words, painful words, malicious words, words that were intended to hurt and maim, chanted them dully in the back of Harry's mind.

Harry winced when he heard them return. They hadn't been there for a while and he had almost forgotten that they existed at all. He closed his eyes, releasing a small whimper when he fell back on to his bed, tears once again falling from his eyes.

Dougie watched, his heart breaking into pieces when he saw his friend fall, he raced across the room and caught him before his head connected with the wall at the edge of the bed. From there he continued to hold him, he held him through the sobs that wracked both their bodies, held him when Harry tried to shift away. But Dougie Poynter didn't let him. Dougie Poynter held his best friend until those pained tears stopped, until the only sign that it had ever happened was the heaving of Harry's chest.

Tom and Danny had stood at the doorway watching the sad beauty of the situation they were in.

Harry simply lay in his friend's loose embrace as his body sighed and sobbed with the remains of his tears. His eyes were still tightly squeezed shut trying to block out everything around him.

Time didn't really move when the four friends were in that room. Well, it did, but not in a way that mattered to any of them. None of them cared what happened in the next second or two because they didn't think it could get any worse than it was in that very moment. They only wanted time to speed up, move quickly past the trauma and just take them to a time when they had recovered from it all. But none of them realised just how long that would be as things were about to take a turn for the worst.

**Well don't really know what I thought of this chapter. But yeahhh let me know what you thought, because, at the end of the day that's all that matters to me **** x**


	21. Chapter 21

**Yaaayyy thanks as always for the reviews **** Okay I have no idea where this idea came from…But it scared me a little writing it, so be warned…Hope it's okay!**

The phone rang and Danny awoke from his daydream, darting out of the room and down the hallway. Then, panting slightly, he answered. He heard a raspy voice on the other end that sent shivers down his spine.

"Enjoying my lickle Harry are we Danny?" The voice asked quietly.

Danny didn't answer, he didn't know what to say, not to mention the fact he physically could not form any sound. The voice scared him a lot even after hearing only a few words.

"Cat got your tongue Danny? Or should I say dog, how is old Bruce these days?" The voice continued after a moment or two of silence.

Danny's hand shook as he held the receiver. He gulped and winced when he heard the laugh that followed.

"Awwh is Danny Jones scared of big bad me?" The voice started with almost a joking quality but it soon turned cold and evil, "Well you ought to be scared of me Danny boy. You see, I know where you live." As soon as the words were said the phone cut off; leaving Danny standing in the hall, with the receiver in his hand, body shaking in fear.

Then there was a knock at the door towards the other end of the house, past the room where the others were, and as soon as Danny heard it the hairs on the back of his neck rose. Yet, he couldn't formulate any words of warning to shout at his friend, as Tom quickly ran to open it. He dropped the phone when he saw the body of a man fling itself on to his friend and the pair tumble to the ground. There was grunting and the noise of skin connecting with skin until, suddenly, the man stood up, leaving Tom lying on the ground. The man lifted his head, cold eyes connecting with Danny's across the hall, and then he turned around, locking the front door shut from the inside.

There was a second, just one small second, where the man had his back to Danny. Danny could have run, could have run and hid somewhere in the house, hell, he could have run to his mobile and called for help. But he didn't. He stood, glued to the spot, trembling from head to toe, he worried about the state of Tom, and he worried about what was going to happen. His mind was in overdrive. He was still glued completely to the spot when the man once again moved towards Tom: Tom who had awoken from his daze and started to weakly try and claw himself away from the attacker.

Tom who had opened his eyes to see the body of a man in front of him had tried his best to get away but was struck with horror as his feet were grabbed. He clawed at the carpet, trying to grip something, anything, that would get him away from the evil man that now had a hold of him. He was completely at the man's mercy when he saw the fist coming at his face, and then he knew no more.

Danny had watched it all with horror filled eyes. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime he managed to make his body move. That was when he made his biggest mistake yet, "Dougie lock the door. Don't come out Dougs." He shouted as he charged towards the intruder, flinging the full force of his body into the man, making them both tumble, crashing to the ground. There he tried his best to wrestle for dominance but he couldn't win. He couldn't get a grip on the quick moving arms that had soon formed a choke hold around his neck. He saw his vision getting more blurry until it all faded into a black chasm.

Dougie, who had heard the commotion, ran to the door, watching with terror as he saw his friends being beaten. Tom, who looked unconscious and Danny, who was fighting to stay conscious - given the arms squeezing his neck. Dougie wanted to help them but he knew that he had to try and protect himself and Harry whilst also getting help from somewhere. So quickly and as silently as he could, he pushed the door shut as carefully as he could, even though the noise of it clicking probably wouldn't be heard over the sound of Danny grunting with pain. From there he locked it shut with the bolt and walked backwards, almost watching as if the door was about to unlock itself, until his body connected with the bed. Then he remembered about Harry. Turning to look at his friend he saw him looking with a fearful expression at something contained in his palm. He never had chance to ask what it was when he heard a loud scraping from the hallway. His body shook as he listened to grunting and moaning from behind the door. After a few terror filled moments there was a second or two of silence.

Then there was banging on the door. BANG BANG BANG. BANG BANG BANG.

"I know you're in there baby. Just tell your buddy Dougie to be a nice little boy and kneel down or else I'll hurt your friends out here. All I want is you. Lickle Harry Judd." The voice slithered through the gaps in the door and Dougie's heart pounded in his chest. He could imagine the owner of that voice to be a terrifying man. Quickly his head turned to face Harry, waiting, pleading with eyes to not do as the man asked.

"Come on now Harry. You don't want me to hurt your innocent little friends do you? Come on baby, open the door, and let me see you." The voice continued to purr from the other side of the door.

When Harry didn't move there was another BANG. Dougie whimpered in terror, amazed at the fact that the whole time it had been happening, Harry hadn't moved a muscle.

From the other side of the door Dougie listened, and could only imagine what was happening when he heard scraping and clattering. Then he heard the heaving: he knew the man was doing something to his friends and he was powerless to stop it.

After what felt like a life time the noises stopped, until all was silent again. But then, the sound of metal clunked off the door. Piercing noises broke the airwaves and suddenly the door gave way. The man on the other side was finally revealed.

His hair hung loosely around his neck, greasy, dark brown strands with grey roots. A scratchy stubble covering his lower face, black pores outlining his nose and cheeks. A malicious, yellow toothed smile, glared at Dougie. Eyes that were almost black stared at Dougie: unblinking and unmoving.

A terror unlike any he had ever experienced held Dougie and he didn't even put up a fight when the body came at him, hitting him on the head with a weapon. Then, with no thoughts in his unconscious mind, he crumpled to the floor like a leaf falling from an autumn tree.

"Hiya Harry." The man smiled manically. "You be a good little boy and sit there while I see to your friends. Don't run away now because you know I'll find you and I will hurt your friends then. But stay there like a good boy and your friends will be fine, after all, they never killed my daughter, did they?" After that the man raised a yellow nailed hand to his mouth, pressed it to his lips and blew a kiss across the room to Harry. Then he bent down and took a hold of Dougie's arms, dragging him from the room, not caring when he bashed his dead-weight feet off the doorframe.

He took Dougie to where he'd put Danny and Tom. He proceeded to tie his hands tightly behind the back of the chair that he had been place on. Then, once that knot was secure, tied his feet to the chair legs too, and finally placing a gag in his mouth, the man stood back to observe the three boys he had captured. All of them either unconscious or dead; he didn't really care.

With that he took one last sweeping look and left the room, pulling the door shut behind him and locking it with the key he knew was hidden under the shelf by the light switch.

He proceeded back to where he had left Harry and was elated to find him still sat in the same position.

"Aren't you a good boy huh Harry?" The man said as he took a seat on the bed next to him. He lifted his hand up until it connected with Harry's hair. He rubbed his dirty hand through it and leaned it, licking a stale-breathed tongue along Harry's face. The whole time Harry didn't move a muscle. He let it happen. Maybe this way it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe this way it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe this time it wouldn't be so fucking bad.

**Wow. As weird as it is gonna sound I really enjoyed writing that chapter! :/ Does this make me weird? I think it was just refreshing to get away from the crying and stuff for a bit. But I don't know where it came from. Maybe because I watched Hide and Seek the other day…Who knows? Anyways, I'm gonna upload the next chapter today if I can, as I don't really want to leave any of you traumatised. But yeah, erm, please please let me know what you thought of this chapter, it's definitely the most daring one I've ever published. Thanks! xx**


	22. Chapter 22

**Thankyou for the reviews as always! I'm very happy to hear what you all thought and I'm very very happy that it was all as good as could be expected given what I'm putting poor Harry through! Here's the next chapter. I didn't really want to write about the rape in detail but that's what's happening **

**I don't own McFly…only a few overplayed CDs and a SC membership. Speaking of…is it possible to change from monthly to annually does anybody know? **

Pain assaulted Danny's eyes as he opened them confused; then he tried to move and when he couldn't a wave of intense panic assaulted him and he cried out, only to find that it was muffled by something in his mouth. He tried to wiggle free, squeezing his eyes shut when the brightness of the room around him hurt his eyes. Then, after a second of panic filled horror he re-opened his eyes to take in his surroundings. He saw Tom next to him on his left, head hung limply on his chest with blood trailing down his face. He looked like he was sleeping and it that moment Danny prayed with all his heart that he was. Then he rolled his head round to the other side to see Dougie, Dougie's head was leaned back at an uncomfortable angle, he too had the traces of blood in his hair. Danny tried to find out if there was any way he could undo the knots that held him; breathing heavily through his nose as he exerted himself. Twisting his hands in the rope that held them together, he felt it cutting at his skin, his moves became more desperate as the time passed until, finally, he cried out lowly and panted from the effort; the breath leaving through his nose. He let his head drop. Then, he decided to try and wake up his friends, so he rocked his chair slightly until it manoeuvred to Tom's side. From there Danny moved his head forward until it reached Tom's and he nuzzled the side of his face. Realising that this was perhaps a way of undoing his gag he kept going with renewed energy until he felt the body next to him wake up.

Tom's consciousness came back suddenly and he jarred up, wincing as his head connected with something. He looked up to see Danny looking back at him; dazed.

Danny persevered with rubbing his face against Tom until, after what felt like a lifetime the gag did indeed fall loosely from his neck and hung around his neck.

"Tom be as quiet as you can okay?" Danny whispered as his friend started squirming from the pure shock of having woken up in such a predicament.

Tom nodded; knowing that this situation they were in was serious.

"Okay, open you mouth and I'll get your gag out" Danny whispered and then leaned forward, taking a hold of it in his teeth and yanked it as hard as he could. After a few minutes of hard work the gag fell from Tom's mouth and he licked his lips gingerly tasting the blood that had dried there.

"What the fuck Dan?" Tom asked after a moment of silence.

"I don't know. I need to see to Dougs." Was the only response he gave to Tom as he once again wiggled his chair over to his friend.

There, he again knocked his head lightly against his friend's shoulder to try and rouse him from his sleep. But nothing happened.

"Tom he's not waking up. He's meant to wake up." Danny whispered; terror gripping at his every nerve. He was terrified for his friend.

"He's breathing though, yeah?" Tom asked, his throat sore, his voice hoarse.

"I dunno, fuck, Dougs, Dougs, Dougie!" Danny started hitting his head off his friend's chest harder now, doing whatever he could to get a response from his friend. He stopped dead when he heard crying from the other side of the door.

Tom's head shot up when he heard the cries too. He turned to face Danny and they could do nothing as they heard the cries increase.

"Shut up Harry or you'll wake your little friends up and then I'll have to go back in and put them all to sleep." They heard the voice of the man float through and both of them blinked tears when they thought that their fried was going through such a hell only a few metres away.

"Dan, come here, quietly." Tom whispered, his voice so quiet so as he didn't alert the man of them already being awake.

Danny took one last look at Dougie and then turned away, once more rocking his chair over to Tom, when he got there Tom directed him to sit with their backs touching so that they could work on undoing the knots that held their wrists together.

After a lot of wriggling and pain filled gasps as fingernails dug into hands too deeply the knots were undone. But both of the boys had tears running, full speed, down their faces due to having to listen to what they could only describe as torture on the other side of the door.

Once their hands were free both boys bent down to release their legs and then the pair raced over to where Dougie was still sat.

"Dougie, Dougie, wake up, please, wake up." Tom cried, tapping his friends face lightly, as Danny started to work on untying his hands.

Dougie did wake up. He jumped with terror at having remembered what had happened and when he felt hands on him he panicked, lurching his body away from them without realising that they were actually the hands of his friends.

Tom saw this happening and grabbed a hold of his shoulders, holding him still, he saw that Dougie had his eyes tightly closed and so he reached out and prised them open slightly. He wanted Dougie to realise that they were his friends and not the man. Dougie continued to fight until he felt his eyes being forced open, the bright light of the room made him try to squint them shut but then they rested on Tom. Tom who had blood, sweat and tears running down his pale face. Dougie stopped squirming.

"Dougs when I take it out you have to be real quiet okay?" Tom waited, about to remove his gag until Dougie nodded his head in acceptance.

Then once that was done and Danny had undone his hands they helped Dougie up and together the three huddled together by the door trying to find a way of getting out with alerting the man to the fact that they were all awake.

The cries of their friend still hit their ears and soon enough they were all trying to hold back hysterical bursts of tears caused by the torture that they knew Harry was experiencing in that second.

Harry, meanwhile, was trying his best to block it out, the man was pounding into him and whispering words of threat into his ear. Harry tried to claw away, grip anything from doorframes to the stair case, just to get away from the assault. But to no avail.

"Please, please stop. Please stop it." He begged, releasing fresh salty liquid from his eyes.

"Aww does Harry not want to make it up to me. You've been so naughty lately, telling the boys horrible things about me, and you thought I wouldn't find out." The man whispered in his ear and then bit it sharply.

Harry cried out in torment when he felt the man bite his ear. He felt it heat up because of the blood that rushed to the wound.

"Please help me. Danny? Tom? Dougs? Please. Please." Harry whimpered in pain.

When the boys, whose ears were pressed against the door, heard their friend begging for their help, it broke their hearts.

"Oi. What have I told you ay?" The man leant down and grabbed a hold of Harry's jaw, lifting his head up and forcing him to look him in the eyes. "If you wake your friends up they'll suffer too. They don't deserve that do they? They're better than you. You killed my daughter." He then let Harry's head drop, weightless to the floor, where it hit with a _thud._

"Harry never killed anyone did he?" Dougie asked, still slightly dazed from having been hit over the head, he was confused as to who the man was and why he was calling Harry a murderer.

Just as Tom was about to admonish him for such a stupid statement they heard the sound of dragging.

Harry gave up, succumbing to the hands that ripped at his clothes, the breath that wafted over his body as it lay cold kisses over his skin. No more tears leaked from his eyes because, truth be told, he felt dead inside.

His body was dirty and used. Tired and worn. In that moment Harry Judd felt like there was no difference between life and death.

**Wasn't meaning for it to end here but it kinda did…Anyway yeah… hope you enjoyed and next chapter should be up soon **** xx**


	23. Chapter 23

**All of your reviews have been amazing! Love reading them! Thankyou all so so so so so much! Here's the next one **

Harry must have passed out. He couldn't be sure but either way he didn't remember how he got to where he was now: in the shower, cold water running its way over his naked body. His hands were tightly tied behind his back and there was something in his mouth. He couldn't cry out and he couldn't get his body to function, he couldn't seem to move away from the water that flowed like ice around him, he couldn't cry out like he wanted to. His body was at a strange angle now that he looked at it, it was almost as if he had been placed there, that thought made Harry shudder. He looked around him to see if he was in any immediate danger and when he found the room to be empty besides himself, he let his head drop back down, wincing as it connected with the floor of the shower.

Meanwhile, downstairs Tom, Danny and Dougie were pounding as hard as they could on the door. They'd heard a commotion as two bodies had stumbled up the stairs above them, they heard the yells of their friend as he was attacked, they listened as they heard the man yell abuse at Harry. All of them had tears dribbling down their faces as they heard the man's last words, "See you soon baby, don't forget me, will you?" Then they heard the lock on the front door open and the sound of feet exiting the house.

Assuming that the man had indeed left they strengthened their efforts of getting out the room they were locked in.

Dougie slammed against the door with the full weight of his body. "Aghhh" he yelled in anger when the wooden door refused to move. He let his body slump to the floor, "It's not fucking fair. If I could only have hit him, instead of him hitting me, Harry wouldn't have had to go through this." He cried as he hit his head against the wall behind him.

Danny stopped banging on the door when he saw Dougie fall to the ground. When he watched him hit his head repeatedly he darted over and grabbed a gentle hold of his head. "Dougs, Harry'll be alright, you'll see, we just need to get out, okay buddy? Doing this isn't gonna help anyone mate." He lied, his voice gentle and calm, completely the opposite to how he felt.

Dougie whimpered and nodded. He knew that Danny was lying and yet he welcome the lie, he embraced it, because for a second it made everything feel alright.

Tom was still attacking the door. After a few silent minutes they heard a noise from upstairs.

"Harry? Harry?" Tom called, stopping his door beating for a second, then no reply came and the three boys continued to remain silent, hoping against hope they would hear a reply from their friend.

Harry had managed to drag himself out of the shower. His whole body ached immensely and he managed to somehow wrestle himself away from the water. He stood, suddenly dizzy, until he managed to control himself. Then he stumbled, his body refusing to co-operate properly until he got to the bathroom door.

With his body acting as if on auto-pilot he started the long walk downstairs. He fell the remaining few steps when he heard his name being called. Landing at a heap he groaned in pain, yelping as his body was beaten again.

"Shit, Harry, Harry is that you? Please just answer mate?" Danny's accent rang out loudly in the quiet of the house.

Harry managed to pull himself up once more by turning his body on the stairs behind him. He winced as he got a carpet burn to his arms. Then he heaved his body along to the kitchen passing the door that separated him from his band mates.

"Fuck. This is bad; really really bad." Tom murmured lowly as he heard someone stumble passed the door. He hoped that it was his friend and not the man but he couldn't be sure.

Harry had stumbled into the kitchen and found what he was looking for…a knife. He managed to clasp it in his hands behind his back and started to rub away at the bonds that held him. He winced as he felt it rip at his skin releasing blood that trailed in a thin line down his limbs.

After what felt like a lifetime the ties broke and he dropped the knife; not caring what happened to it. Then he stood; unsure of what to do next. That was when he realised that he was still naked, terrified at the sight of his own body after everything that had happened, he ran out of the room. Once again he passed by the room where his band mates were and once again he ignored it completely. It took a few seconds to realise that there was still something in his mouth so he fumbled with it and managed to remove it.

He stood at the bottom of the stairs and decided that he couldn't summon the energy to tackle that mountain so he turned around. He headed through to the living room on autopilot and luckily he found a sweatshirt that one of the boys must have shed earlier. He lifted it above his head, wincing when his arms strained, and then once his upper body was covered he looked around for something else. That was when it dawned on him. He didn't have to climb the stairs: his bedroom was only down the hall. So he stumbled to his room and took in the sight before him, devastation. Books, CDs, bed linen were strewn across the floor haphazardly. Suppressing the memories of what had happened earlier in this room he went to his drawers and dug out fresh clothes.

Once changed he headed back out of the room, he couldn't stomach being in that room anymore, then he realised he had still to find the others. A fresh wave of panic seized him when he remembered the fighting, the yelling, and the pain that they all must have gone through because of him.

_Because of me. _He thought, shuddering with the haunting realisation that he had indeed been the reason that they had been attacked.

"Haz?" Danny tried calling out to his friend again after a few minutes of complete silence where the three of them had simply listened in fear at someone stumbling aimlessly round the house.

Harry heard his name and looked to where it was coming from…the cupboard by the stairs where the key was in the lock on the outside. He hurried towards it and put his hand on it; ready to turn it. But something stopped him. He didn't want to face his friends; he couldn't, not after everything he'd done. But he knew he couldn't leave them in there either.

"I'll let you out but you have to promise to wait a minute before you come out, okay?" He reasoned, pressing his face tentatively against the door. His voice very quiet and croaky.

"Yeah sure mate." Was the reply that followed from Danny who stood, completely bewildered, sharing glances with Dougie and Tom.

So Harry did turn the key but then he fled. He fled to the only place he could think of, he'd been staring into space for a second and saw it; the kitchen table; with its long tablecloth that draped to the floor. It was the perfect place to hide for a while. As soon as he had squeezed under it he sat, terrified that he was breathing too loud, so he covered his mouth with his hand.

"Harry mate, we're gonna come out now, okay?" Danny's voice rang out loudly in the still house.

Danny shared one more look with his two band mates and then opened the door, hoping to see Harry stood there, but he wasn't. Infact he was nowhere to be seen.

"Harry? Harry where are you? Harry are you okay?" Tom asked, not raising his voice because he knew that Harry was still on the same floor as him; they hadn't heard his footsteps on the stairs.

"Why don't we split up?" Dougie asked, squeezing passed the boys that were stood in the cupboard doorway.

Dougie took the kitchen. He had a feeling he knew where his friend was hiding. He was right; as soon as he knelt down to look under the table he saw the cloth move slightly. Dougie lifted it up and snuck under. It was quite a big table and so the boys had a bit of room between them while they looked at each other. Neither knew what to say, neither knew where to look, until Dougie reached out and held his hand; wanting Harry to take it.

"This isn't something you can run away from Haz" He whispered; his voice soft and quiet as if he didn't want Danny and Tom to know he'd found him yet.

Dougie gave him a small smile before he crawled back out from under the tablecloth. He went to search for the other two and found Tom in Harry's room. He gasped when he was the state of it but the thing that caught his eye the most was Tom. Tom held something in his hand and Dougie went towards him slowly. He dreaded what he would find there; it was Harry's phone. It had a text message open on the screen that read _"Ready or not; here I come." _

A noise shook them from their reverie; there was a knock at the door. That same knock rattled them all to their very core. Danny had been stood in the hallway when it happened and he jumped. Terror gripped him when he recalled the last time it had happened.

"Anyone home? It's the police!" A voice from behind it shouted; there was a noise behind Danny then, he turned around and saw that Tom and Dougie had come out into the hallway. They were staring at Danny who cautiously moved forward and peeked through the spy hole. In front of him he could see that there were indeed a couple of police officers. He sighed and opened the door.

"Danny Jones?" One of them asked to which Danny nodded.

"We witnessed a man leaving this property a bit ago, we had already been told that there was some unusual activity from here recently, but we arrested him as he was covered in blood. We didn't come here with the intention of arresting him but he was certainly in no mood to answer our questions. Is everything okay here?" The policeman asked.

"Er no actually, erm, I don't know who he is but he knows my friend; Harry. He attacked him." Danny stuttered.

"Oh I see. Well surely you'll want to press charges: may we come in?" The policeman asked already taking a step forward.

"Actually, erm, could you? It's just it's not the first time. You see this guy blames Harry for the death of his daughter and he's been getting at him." Danny mumbled as he led the officers inside.

"Okay, and where is this Harry…?"

"Harry Judd, erm, I'm not sure." Danny replied as he turned to see whether Tom or Dougie had had any luck.

"He's under the kitchen table." Dougie whispered. Tom gave a very confused glance to Dougie when he revealed the whereabouts of their friend.

After they finally managed to persuade Harry to come out of his hiding place the police officers asked their questions, not getting much from Harry besides the fact that he said he had met the man before, and the man had blamed him for the death of his daughter. All the while the officers took notes and Danny, Dougie and Tom all sat trying not to stare at their friend, but often taking glances just to ensure that he had not faded away into nothingness. Harry acted like a robot throughout the whole interview, he hardly blinked, and he showed absolutely no emotion whatsoever. After the interview concluded Tom and Danny walked the officers to the door.

"I don't know if you boys know, but there's an article in the newspapers about Harry being raped. If you can get your hands on any clothes that might have DNA on them we can start trying this guy. If you don't mind we'd like to station some officers around the location as we'll only be able to hold this man for 24hours without any evidence. We'll start testing his clothes for DNA too though now. Do you want us to send a doctor round discreetly to check you all over?" The taller policeman asked with a strained half-smile.

"Erm yeah, a doctor would be great actually" Tom replied quietly as he was very concerned about the welfare of his friend but didn't want to attract any more attention than was really necessary.

Once it had been agreed that a doctor would come to the house in about an hour's time Danny and Tom headed back inside the house. Together they walked back to the kitchen to find Harry and Dougie in the same position they'd left them in.

Dougie was watching Harry very carefully for any signs of movement.

He was slightly relieved when the others came back. The silence between him and his best friend had been deafeningly awkward.

Nobody said anything as the four of them sat around the table and time passed without them acknowledging it. Then there was yet another knock at the door.

Danny ran through to get it, but of course he checked the spy hole first, and on seeing it was the doctor he opened the door.

"Good afternoon, I'm Doctor Joseph Whitehall, and you are?" The doctor asked politely holding his hand out to Danny.

"Oh it's Danny, Danny Jones." Danny shook the hand.

"It's nice to meet you Danny. Now, I see you've been through the wars a bit, shall we have a look at that cut for you?" The doctor asked, moving to place his briefcase on the floor only to be stopped midway by Danny.

"Actually could you look at my friends first please?" Danny asked, his eyes shining with unblinked tears; it was so nice to have other people to talk to now.

So the two went back through to the kitchen and Danny was unsurprised to see everybody sat in exactly the same way as they were before he left.

Dr. Whitehall had to hold back a gasp as he saw the state of his patients, particularly the one that was sat, almost like a marble statue. He recognised the band as McFly but obviously that was irrelevant to his work and he treated them like any other patient.

As he got to work on trying to fix up Harry he also made the small talk like he would with any other patient. But with this particular one, Harry Judd, he didn't get a single reply. The guy in front of him looked traumatised, truth be told, and he soon became desperate to speak about him to one of the other boys. He wanted to know more; why he was acted this way and how long had it lasted?

"Well, that's you about done, Harry. Okay?" Dr. Whitehall said as he scrunched up the tissues he'd used to blotch up Harry's blood and then he removed his gloves. Still no response came from Harry.

"So who's next?" Dr. Whitehall tried to cover up the awkward silence that had followed the unanswered question and he was relieved when Danny put out his hand as if to indicate that they should go to another room.

When in the living room Danny spilled the story on everything. From the night when they had found Harry beaten and bruised, until the night that they had found his mum had gone into hospital, until the day they found out a story had been sold about them and he ended, almost panting from the unusual amount that he had been speaking, with the incidents of earlier that day.

The entire time Dr. Whitehall's face got paler and paler. He had never expected trauma of this scale when he first got the call to pay a visit to the house.

"Danny, when I was looking at Harry I collected some swabs as I was cleaning up the blood, is it okay if I send them away to get analysed? It may just be there's some of the man's DNA on them." The Dr explained whilst once again putting away his tools having finished looking Danny over.

Danny nodded and then said his farewells as he went to tell Tom to go to the Dr.

That left Danny, Dougie and Harry sat at the kitchen table. Danny sat down and took a long look at Harry. He now had bandages covering most of his face where it looked like he had been punched repeatedly. He had a bandage covering a large cut on his arm. His wrists had been taped in a similar to Danny's own due to the tight restraints that had held them when they'd struggled. The beginnings of two black eyes were forming on Harry's face and Danny could only imagine the pain his friend must have been experiencing when he was sat on the hard wooden chairs; he noticed that Harry kept squirming around.

"Haz, do you want to have a lie down? Could snuggle on the sofa and put the telly on?" Danny asked, trying to persuade his friend to find a more comfortable position to sit in.

Danny held his hand out but Harry ignored it. Instead he simply sat, unmoving, like a zombie.

Or at least that was how Dougie thought of his friend. He thought that Harry looked more zombie like than he had ever seen. His eyes were, for the first time in so long, free of the sign of tears. They just looked dead.

Dougie mentally slapped himself and walked out of the room. He couldn't face it anymore. He couldn't face seeing his friend like that. He walked into Harry's room on a mission – he managed to find some of the clothes that Harry had worn before the attack and then he changed out of his also, putting both sets together in a bag which he then gave to the Dr.

"I, er, collected these…dunno if you can get them checked or something for DNA?" He asked, handing the bag over, his voice quiet and sad.

"That's a great idea, Tom do you think you and Danny could give me yours too and I'll send them straight off?" He asked, looking at Tom who now had a bandage wrapped around his head and a small sling on one of his arms that appeared to have been sprained in the fight.

Eventually the Dr. left after having collected everyone's clothes and left the four boys in the house. As soon as the door front door was shut Danny locked it, turning the key, sliding the bolt and then, for extra measure, he got a chair and jammed it under the handle.

Then he went back through to the kitchen where he found Harry in the same position he'd been in for the last hour or so. Sighing heavily and with the weight of the world on his shoulders Danny devised a plan to drug his friend. You see the Dr had slipped a small bottle of pills in his hand as he had been leaving with the simple words, "He needs it." Danny had nodded his head, agreeing, and then he made a cup of tea for everyone and he crushed a small sleeping pill into Harry's.

As he passed the cups around to each of the boys he was mindful of which was Harry's. Then he waited for what felt like an age for Harry to actually pick it up and take a drink from it. It was not long after that until Harry dropped off to a dreamless sleep.

**Yayyy **** Think that it's actually getting better now! Wahooo! **** Like for real this time. But it also makes me kinda sad because it feels like the stories coming to an end. Oh no. I'm sure I'll find a way to prolong it. Muhahaha **** Thanks as always! xx**


	24. Chapter 24

***Hangs head in shame!* **

**I'm so sorry for the long wait - real life has been so ridiculous lately **** I'm not going to make any promises of when I'll be able to update because it's not fair on any of you if I don't get it posted in time and then I'll feel really guilty… Just please know and remember that I will finish this story and I can only hope that you'll all stay with me until the end… Thank you for always being patient and I adore every single one of who reads and reviews! **** x**

**Disclaimer: Yep…you guessed it…I don't own the McFLY boys and if I did I certainly wouldn't be putting them through this!**

While Danny sipped his tea he watched Harry discreetly from the corner of his eye and he ignored the shocked glances from Dougie and Tom when, as soon as Harry fell asleep, he plopped his cup down and went straight to his friend's side. From there he scooped Harry into his arms, mindful of his injuries, and took him through to the living room where he lay him on the sofa on his side.

"How did you know he was gonna fall asleep?" Dougie had followed him with a look of knowledge already on his features.

"I didn't mate. Just noticed and thought he should be more comfy." Danny's simple and quiet reply seemed to echo in the otherwise silent room.

"Oh really, so it wouldn't have anything to do with me seeing you putting something in his tea then would it?" Dougie's voice got a bit louder until Danny grabbed a tight hold of his arm and wrenched him from the room.

"Dougs, I did put a pill in his drink, alright? But…" Danny started.

"But what, Dan? You thought you'd do it now, without saying anything to Tom and me first, I don't think Harry's gonna appreciate it." Dougie whispered, wrenching his arm free from Danny's grip.

"Yeah Dougs, I did it without asking you, because it was a spur of the moment thing, alright? It's one pill for fuck's sake and after everything he's been through I wouldn't say that a bit of sleep is gonna hurt him…would you?" Danny finished giving his reasoning only to look up and find Dougie holding back the tears.

Without a word Danny took a hold of his younger friend and whispered soothing words in his ear, holding him while he cried.

"I'm sorry Dan. I know it's for the best and I'm glad you did it. But it just makes me angry." Dougie sobbed.

Tom heard the sound of crying and was saddened to see it coming from Dougie so he too went over and wrapped him in a hug. Then, when the tears stopped, the three friends went back to Harry's side.

"I'm gonna call his family. They need to know." Tom gulped trying to summon the energy and courage for the phone call about to happen. He continued to kneel by his friend's side for a long while though, never quite getting enough courage to actually make the phone call and together the three of them started to feel their eyes droop shut.

They all slept as peacefully as they could until the phone awoke them from their slumbers. Their sleep filled eyes connected with one another; each recalling the last time it had happened.

Danny sighed, rose up and picked up the handset. It was Harry's dad.

"I just thought I'd check up on Harry and tell you about his mum. She's getting better; the cancer hasn't spread but she needs to have more chemo and for that she needs to go home. Thomas and Katherine have offered to stay…that's if you want them to. But I need to be with my wife. How is Harry?" Harry's dad spoke quickly, not once letting Danny voice anything; he waited expectantly for an answer.

Danny simply answered with, "Harry's how you'd expect. The man was here though; he broke in but the police got him, he's been arrested and they're trying to get some DNA off our clothes and stuff. But Harry's sleeping now."

Danny waited with baited breath for the onslaught of questions that he expected to be asked: except none came. Not a single question was asked by Harry's dad. All he said was, "I'm on my way." With that the receiver was put down and all Danny could hear through the phone was the continuous steady hum of a disconnected handset.

Danny replaced his phone too and raised a hand to rub at his tired eyes. He retreated back to the side of his friends and when he met their questioning glances, simply shook his head and swallowed, trying his best to summon the little energy and emotion he had for the conversation that was most likely going to be the hardest he'd ever had.

After a silence had rained down on the occupants there was yet another knock at the door. It made Danny, Tom and Dougie jump with shock even though they had all expected it. Together Danny and Tom went to answer the door, leaving Dougie sat by Harry's side; he lifted his hand and stroked it softly through his sleeping friend's hair. Dougie's mind was full of worry for his friend, he couldn't and didn't want to try and count the times that he knew his friend had been raped because then he would think of all the times that they didn't know about. All those times that Harry had popped to the shops or gone to visit his family: all those times when they hadn't heard off him for a few hours or a whole weekend even. Dougie couldn't help but now begin to question the whereabouts of his friend; had he been forced to go through it every time? All the times that he and Danny and Tom were just sat laughing and talking about nonsense stuff, all those times they'd sat having mini arguments about who won the Xbox game. They'd never once realised how much Harry had been suffering. Even when the three of them started noticing that Harry was becoming more withdrawn and thinner, all of them had put it down to stress caused by him worrying for his mother's health. All in all Dougie blamed himself. He only tore his eyes away from his friend's side when he heard the footsteps of his friends approaching.

"Hi Dougie." Harry's dad greeted him, extending a hand and then pulling their bodies together for a small hug. Dougie and Harry's family had always had a close relationship and even though the hug was only quick Dougie still found himself comforted by it and he took a second to shut his eyes and collect himself before pulling away from the warm, strong embrace.

"How's my son?" Harry's dad moved closer to Harry and knelt down beside him, taking in the look that swept over his features and the amount of bruises and cuts that littered his handsome son's body.

"The doctor came and did all that. He gave us some sleeping pills too before he left so we gave one to Haz…We really didn't know what to do, he was just sitting and staring, and I thought it would be better if he slept. Doc also said he shouldn't get nightmares because of it so maybe he'll be sleeping well for once." Danny spoke quietly, avoiding the eyes of Dougie when he spoke about the sleeping pills, he managed to hide his shock however when he felt Dougie's small hand creep into a tight grip with his own.

"I'm taking his mum back tonight; she's got an appointment tomorrow afternoon with a specialist you see? We don't want to leave him though, he's our son, I just wanted to see how he was, his mum wants to come round later when she's discharged but we didn't know how Harry would feel about seeing people."

"He's not said anything but we all know that Harry would want to see her." Tom said gently, also kneeling down by Harry's side.

A thin layer of perspiration lay on Harry's forehead and without even thinking about it Tom wiped it away carefully with his sleeve.

"Yeah Harry would want to see her and Tom and Katy too." Dougie said in a small voice still holding onto Danny's hand tightly.

"Not sure how much longer he'll be sleeping though, why don't you come round for tea tonight? We could get a takeaway or something, Harry'll be up by then and we can clean the place up a bit too…it's still a tip…" Danny trailed off; not wanting to talk about why the house was the way it was.

"Do you want a drink or anything?" Tom asked trying to do something slightly useful with himself but he found that everything seemed pointless; getting a drink wouldn't make Harry or the situation any better.

"No, er, I'll go, speak to the others and see if they fancy taking you up on the offer of tea tonight." With that the short trip was over and Harry's dad embraced each of the boys tightly and showed himself out with Tom not far behind him to ensure the door was once again securely locked.

The three band mates busied themselves with tidying up the house and after about half an hour of silent work they met in the hallway outside Harry's room. It wasn't Harry's actual bedroom but they had moved his things downstairs to the second living room as he was frequently found sitting downstairs on a morning anyway. Each night the boys could hear his footsteps creaking down the stairs when he couldn't sleep due to nightmares. One day they'd all sighed and decided to take action so while he was out one day they moved some of his belongings and when he came home, he didn't argue or dispute it, simply nodded his head in slight acknowledgement and had gone straight into his new room, shutting the door behind him.

After looking at each other unsure for a few moments Tom reached out and turned the handle to Harry's current bedroom. Even though they'd already witnessed the state of it briefly it was still a shock to them; seeing the bed sheets on the floor and the few drops of blood that covered them. The condition of the room gave the situation more reality and made it even worse for them all to see. Dougie, whose hand desperately wanted to seek the comfort of Danny's or Tom's, took a deep breath, gulped it down with a swallow that sounded so loud to his ears in the quiet room, and moved around the floor picking up items that were scattered across it. This spurred the other two into action and they too helped to clear it of mess. The three worked silently, but noticed the sniffs and sighs that broke the quietness, each one battled their emotions as they cleaned that room, each one realised that not only were they simply cleaning a room, but they were cleansing themselves of something evil. Each one hoped that for every item they put back in its rightful home they were putting a piece of their friend back together.

"Is this reminding anyone else of Humpty Dumpty? You know, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall?" Tom broke the silence, his voice gruff from trying to contain all of his emotions that his throat was dry. He turned to face the other two whose heads lifted up with shock from the sudden and unexpected voice.

"Mate, Harry looks nothing like Humpty Dumpty." Danny joked half-heartedly. His eyes betrayed him though, they showed that he clearly agreed, he realised that it was true: they were hoping beyond hope that Harry could be fixed in the same way a broken toy could be repaired.

They all stopped and looked around, each one taking in the room, they'd put all of the bed sheets in the corner ready to be binned. Each one was stained with the reminder of what had happened in that very room where they were all stood. Their thoughts were broken when they heard movement come from the other room and they all shot towards the sound; wanting to be there when their friend awoke.

As they all darted to the living room where they'd left Harry, they heard the sounds of someone crying and it tore at all of their hearts. They found Harry curled into a ball with tears escaping his beautiful eyes. His bed head hair was puffed up in all directions which gave him a far more youthful appearance and made the boys all want to wrap him up in their arms and never let go. Never ever again let him be exposed to the harsh cruelty of the real world where there is evil at every door, never ever again let him have to suffer the wrath of one man who wanted to make his life a living hell, and never ever again let him have to feel so broken and used as that evil man did.

And in that moment that's what they did. They all shot across the room and embraced their friend, Harry Judd, and they held him tightly. Each one of them seeking comfort and passing on as much of it as they possibly could to the next, each one shedding tears over the immensity of what had happened and each one trying to heal themselves and each other.

"Everything's going to be alright." Dougie, whose hands were wrapped within Danny and Tom's, whispered, as he placed a small kiss to Harry's soft hair.

**Well…I tried to make it long and worth the wait but I'm not actually sure if it was. You see, I may have mentioned this before but I find it easier to write chapters all in one go because otherwise, I start and then after I stop, I can never regain the way that I felt the last time I wrote. So I am so sorry about not updating and I want you all to know that this story and what you, the readers think of it, mean the absolute world to me and I will finish it. So I really hope that you are enjoying it still, let me know what you think with that little review button, and I will update when I can. Thank you so much as always for reading and reviewing if you do…**


	25. Chapter 25

**Thank you all for the reviews…they still and always will mean the world to me…I'm so incredibly sorry for lack of updates…I've had uni exams, been job hunting, been staying away from home for a bit and then my friends mum died so I haven't really had time to write. I hope this chapter is okay because I wanted to get one up, as I'm away for a week or so now…**

**Also I have twitter…If any of you have it follow me and I'll follow you back **** I'm alexbrown3000 **** Anyways…enjoy and thank you for reading as always, also thank you for putting me on fave author/story alert if you have …it means so much to me to know that people are enjoying my work!**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything in connection to the boys and it still hurts me to say this! hah**

Harry gulped and it stung his throat. He was tightly embraced from all sides by his band mates. It was a huge comfort to him and yet he couldn't allow himself to feel it properly because he knew what they had gone through and the extent to which they had suffered because of him: because he had killed a girl. A little innocent girl who should have, at that precise moment in time, been watching the television or shopping with her friends, or having tea with her family, or learning how to drive. No. Harry wouldn't let himself be comforted for what he'd done. He didn't deserve his friends or family. With that thought in mind he shoved the bodies of the ones he loved away from him harshly ignoring the shocked gasps that followed. He wrenched his body from where it had been laid and stormed from the room. Except then he didn't know where to go. He didn't know what to do. So he was still stood, undecided in the hallway, when his friends found him.

Tom couldn't help but remember the time when not so long ago it had been Elle that had been shoved away from Harry is disgust and anger. As soon as he thought of the girls his blood boiled…They'd still to find out who was responsible for the article that had been published a few days before and he knew that Fletch was trying to figure it out. Tom hadn't been in contact with any of the girls since then…He no longer replied to his girlfriend's texts, the ones asking why he was ignoring her, the ones that then said she knew he suspected her, the ones that then ranted at him angrily for having accused her. Tom looked at Harry and saw the way that he was stood; almost as if he didn't have any energy although he'd just been asleep.

"What ya thinking bout mate?" Danny asked, his voice seemed so loud in the quiet hallway.

"I killed her. He was right to do it. He was right. I killed her. I fucking killed a girl. I did. I did." Harry was eerily void of emotion when he uttered these words that broke the hearts of his band mates. "That girl, she fucking loved me and I never noticed, I never said thank you, it's not that I didn't care but I never cared enough to notice. Fuck, she was always there and I never said thank you, I killed her. I killed her. He was right. I deserved it, all of it, every time."

Nobody knew what to say in response to that but each of the three boys thought that it was ludicrous that Harry could even think that never mind actually believe it. The thing that shocked each of the three boys was that it was the first time that Harry had admitted to having been raped more than once.

Dougie went over to his friend and embraced him, holding his friend tight, his friend who was still mumbling to himself; none of it audible to the others anymore. Harry didn't react in the slightest when his body was tugged in to Dougie's. Tom and Danny watched, but neither moved towards the pair, instead they both quietly went to the kitchen. They each took a seat at the table and not a word was uttered between the pair. They listened to the quiet sobs emanating from the hallway where their other friends were still stood.

Time passed at a pace that nobody noticed and by the time that they had all awoken from their daydreams it was dark outside with only the light from the moon seeping in through the windows.

"Harry, you know that it isn't true what you just said, don't you?" Dougie asked, his voice sounding so small and quiet against the silence around them. Harry had stopped sobbing a bit ago and yet his body was still wracked with shudders every now and again. Dougie felt every single one of them and each one strengthened his resolve to tell his friend that he didn't deserve what had happened. Yet, when he said it out loud to Harry no response came. Harry didn't acknowledge that he had even been addressed.

"Harry, look at me, please?" Dougie whispered, trying again, this time he lifted his friends chin so that he could look directly into Harry's blue orbs and tell him the truth.

Unfortunately Harry didn't want that and when he felt Dougie try and lift his chin up he wrenched himself away and rolled over, desperate to scramble away from his friend.

"Harry…Stop! Just stop okay?" Dougie had to forcibly hold himself back from once again trying to reach out to his friend and drag their bodies back together. He watched, trying his best to hold back the tears he could feel welling up in his eyes, as Harry's body quaked.

The noise had got the attention of Danny and Tom who quickly and silently made their way to the kitchen door and watched the scene play out in front of them. None of it felt real, it felt like they were all immersed in some movie, playing characters that shouldn't have to face this type of trauma in real life.

Tom swiftly gave up and marched over to Harry, took a tight hold on his upper arms and heaved him up off the floor. Danny and Dougie watched on in an almost fascinated horror as Tom then proceeded to shake Harry. Harry's own head was bent with his gaze focussed on the floor at his feet and not at Tom who was speaking to him very firmly. He couldn't make out what Tom was saying and he wasn't sure that he even wanted to. Tom had never been this rough or mean to him and yet, he had no right to be afraid because he deserved it, didn't he? He deserved it after everything he had put the young girl and her family through. His band mates had suffered too and his family. It was his fault.

"Look at me now Harry!" Tom's yelling soon reached Harry's ears as he dragged himself away from his thoughts, he was being shaken even more now and it was starting to hurt, but he deserved the pain.

"Tom, mate, stop it, this isn't helping." Danny was flabbergasted by what Tom was doing and yet he couldn't quite bring himself to stop it because he too wanted some response from Harry. He too wanted to see Harry fight back instead of just submitting to the idea that he had killed somebody.

"No I won't stop until Harry tells me too. Right, Harry? Tell me to stop!" Tom shouted; spit flying from his mouth as he continued to shake his friend.

"Tom, please stop? Please, Tom, look at him, just stop it." Dougie pleaded as he watch Harry continue to stare at his feet. He knew that Tom was only doing this to try and get a reaction from Harry but it broke his heart to watch his friend so unreceptive.

"No not until Harry tells me to, or better yet, makes me! Fight back Harry. Come on!" Tom yelled as he shook Harry harder. Just as Danny was about to intervene and call an end to it all, something happened: Harry lashed out with his right arm having wrenched it free from Tom's grip. He held it up next to Tom's face in a tight fist ready to punch his friend.

"Let go of me. Please?" Harry asked: his voice low and murmured.

"Why? Why should I Harry?" Tom asked, still maintaining a hold of his friend's body.

"Please let go of me?" Harry continued to beg, his body weakening in it's fight to stay upright.

"No, not until you take it back." Tom answered, he felt so awful for doing this to Harry but he needed to draw the line somewhere and it hurt so much more to watch his friend admit that he felt he deserved to be raped and beaten.

"Take what back?" Harry begged, starting to become more panicked and trying to squirm free.

"All of it. Everything you said before about it being your fault. It's not your fault Harry; it was never and will never be because of something that you did. And I am not letting go until you believe that. I will not let you go until you understand that that girl did not die because you didn't meet her. She died because that's life. People die all the time Harry. It doesn't make it any easier to face but that's just life. The man who did this to you, it's his fault, not yours. Do you get it now?" Tom spoke loudly. Anger had welled up inside him and he needed to make Harry understand.

Harry said nothing.

"Harry, do you understand? This was not your fault. You did not ask to be raped. You did not ask to be beaten. You did not kill that girl. She died and it is a tragedy, okay, of course it is! But her father has made it so much worse. It's not your fault. Tell me you get that?" Tom begged, he was starting to regret this course of action now, all he wanted was to see some sign from his friend to show that he had not given up.

"Danny, hit me?" Dougie broke the silence with a strange request that grabbed everybody's attention.

"What are you talking about mate?" Danny asked bewildered.

"Go on, hit me, please hit me Dan?" Dougie repeated.

"No, I'm not gonna hit you mate, why would you want me to hurt you?" Danny asked, taking a step closer to Dougie's small frame.

"See Harry, I asked to be hit and he wouldn't hurt me, you never asked to be raped and yet you were. It didn't happen because you wanted it to, it happened because that bastard of a man wanted it to. And that's not okay. It's not. Nobody has the right to hurt you. Not now and not ever. So if you think for one second that he's gonna get away with it then you're wrong, just like if you think for one second that you deserve it." Dougie spoke quietly, his voice reaching the ears of Harry who suddenly started to sag, causing Tom to take a firmer grip on him.

Just as Tom was convinced that Harry was going to crumble to the ground, Harry shocked them all, he pulled his body free from Tom's with an energy that even he didn't know he had. Then he stood, unsure of what to do next, he knew that his friends were telling the truth. He knew he hadn't deserved to be raped.

"Why me?" He cried, all of his emotions running free for the first time, he truly realised that he had not deserved to be raped and now he just felt empty. A different type of empty though. Not the same empty, despondent feeling he'd had every time the man had told him he deserved it, but one of a quiet anger, that was bubbling below the surface.

"I don't know, I don't think there is a reason mate, it just happened and I guess that's one of the worst things about it. But do you understand now that it wasn't because of you yeah mate?" Danny asked; his voice firm and strong as he moved closer to Harry's still frame.

For a moment, just a millisecond it looked like Harry was going to tumble towards the floor and the three boys all prepared to grab him, but then he took a deep breath and pulled himself up from his stooped position so that he looked stronger and more stoic. He now stood defiant, finally ready to face what had happened, the tears had run dry and all that was left was one very angry Harry Judd.

**Sorry if this was a bit crappy everyone…I've been writing it over a few weeks and I think I've said before that it's better for me to just write a chapter in one go as I lose the frame of mind I was in when I wrote it. Thank you as always for reading and please, if you have the time, leave a review **** xxx**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hi, is anybody still there? I am so terribly sorry for not having updated sooner. I feel awful. The truth is real life is such a pain. Literally seem to have no time to do anything, but I've decided it's time to finally update. Final year of uni suckkssss, my dissertation is due in two weeks and I've just got my laptop back after I broke it with viruses. Ooooops. I love my little bubble with Fanfiction here and I don't want to lose it! A lot of the authors whose work I adore haven't updated in a while either and I guess it's fair to say that I must be inspired by them because every time I used to read their updates it made me want to write my own work and give them something back I suppose. So please favourite authors of mine if you are being lovely people and reading my work…get cracking on your own because I for one canny wait for the next chapter! Hope this chapter is okay, I won't promise to update by a certain date just in case I fail and disappoint. But I do promise to try harder! **

**Enjoy and once again I am in no way affiliated with McFly and gain no profit from this work besides a wonderfully fuzzy feeling in me belly when I get me some tasty reviews (: **

Three days had passed since Harry had experienced the epiphany in the hall way. Three days of tense phone calls between Harry and his family. Three days of tense meetings with Fletch still trying to determine which girl was responsible. Harry was by no means back to his usual bubbly happy-go-lucky self but he was also nowhere near the emotional wreck that he had been over the last few weeks.

Tom, Danny and Dougie still ensured that one of them was always stuck like glue to their drummer. Only when one of them had ensured he was settled in the warm and safe confines of his bed did they then creep out and rendezvous with the other band members to discuss their friend. Each one was utterly impressed with the way that Harry was dealing with it all now compared to how he had been just a mere handful of days before.

Harry however was not as impressed with himself as the other boys seemed to be. He was furious at the man for what he had put him through over and over again. He was becoming afraid of the intensity of the anger that he felt towards the man and he had taken to starting to fake being asleep just so that the night watchman would finally leave him in peace. Then, once alone, he quietly snuck from the comfort of his bed and retrieved his laptop that always sat close by. From there he googled the man, he found every story written in the magazines and tabloids that was slating Harry for having ruined the band and being the sole reason that the band had stopped performing and producing songs. Harry was baring the blunt of the blame for taking the other three band members away from twitter and supercity and the fans in general. Harry started to create a deep self loathing of himself and tears would silently break from his eyes. Every bad story that Harry read made his resolve for revenge stronger and slowly, but surely, it began to consume him with a rage that bubbled and boiled and in time, would explode from him in a terrifying manner.

Yet every night without fail just as Harry was almost arriving at breaking point he would hear the small, soft sound of feet approaching his room and he would swiftly shut the laptop lid, replace it from where he had found it, wipe his eyes and wet cheeks, then once again submerse himself in a duvet cocoon and wait for one of his best friends to join him.

This night it was Danny who opened his door softly and peeked inside to check on his friend. In the faint light that shined around the blinds that tried to cover the window Danny thought he could see the faint outline of water on Harry's face. Sighing slightly at the unexpected yet depressing sight he continued to stealthily make his way over to Harry's bed. Once there he arranged the duvet better around his friend and leant down to Harry's ear to whisper gently, "Harry, you are one of, if not the strongest person that I know in the whole world. As scared and hurt as you are you'll make it back from this. We're all here with you all the way and we love you mate. Now I'm going to get in beside you and we're going to sleep well okay?" Obviously he didn't expect an answer because he thought Harry to be asleep but just wanting to warn him that the body beside him would be a familiar and welcome one.

Tonight though it seemed like Harry no longer wanted to pretend and instead opened his eyes, looked at his freckly friend's face and whispered, his voice gruff from the tears he'd gulped back in restrain, "Thank you for everything Dan. I'm sorry that I'm putting you all through this."

Danny halted in his tracks, half way to climbing into bed and hearing Harry speak so negatively. He thought they were past this. Gently reaching out and taking a grip of Harry's cheek he moved the drummers face to meet his eyes and quietly but firmly assured him saying "There is nothing that we would do for you that we wouldn't want to. You are family to us all mate and without a doubt you would do the same thing for us if roles were reversed. I almost wish they were because then it would mean that I wouldn't have to see you going through this terror and not be able to stop it. We want to help you because we love you. We just wish you could understand that in that thick head of yours mate." Danny ended his little tirade with a small chuckle. Releasing his hold on his friend's face he wiped away the small tear that escaped Harry's eye and then quickly budged his friend over and the pair snuggled down to sleep the whole night peacefully.

**Thanks for reading I'm sorry it was so short but please let me know what you think. I really hope you all enjoyed!**


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